Cookie

18

I’m still staring at the sky, tears streaming down my face, when strong arms wrap around me, pulling me against a firm chest. The earthy scent that I could recognize anywhere surrounds me, grounding me, making my body relax in the warmth of his embrace.

"You were thinking about your sister?"

Liam’s voice is husky, still thick with emotion from our earlier conversation. When he whispers in my ear, it doesn’t send the usual warmth through me—it feels like coming home after a long, exhausting day. It feels like safety.

I nod, unable to stop the tears.

"Tell me something about her, Nataly." His voice is softer now, careful. "What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of her?"

I close my eyes, letting Criss’s face fill my mind. The memory hits me like a wave, making my chest ache. Why did she have to leave me?

When I speak, my voice is barely above a whisper.

"Our late-night talks," I murmur. "Every time I close my eyes, I see us in my room, talking for hours—never running out of things to say, never getting tired of each other. But there’s one memory that breaks me every time."

Liam guides me toward a nearby bench and sits down, pulling me between his legs. His arms wrap around me again, his head resting gently against my shoulder. Our cheeks brush, his warmth shielding me from the cold autumn air.

"We had just started our third year of high school. After the first couple of weeks, Luke asked Criss out on a date. She liked him, but I... I hated him." I swallow hard, the weight of guilt pressing against my ribs. "He was a player. Handsome, charming, with girls wrapped around his finger. But ever since he met Criss, he wouldn’t leave her alone."

Liam stays silent, just holding me, his hands drawing slow, reassuring circles against my back.

"Luke would tease her constantly—about her clothes, her voice, anything. He’d steal kisses in the cafeteria or the library, and she’d think they were together, that he cared about her. But the next day, he’d be with another girl, flirting, making her jealous. It killed me to watch." I take a shaky breath. "So when he finally asked her out, I was furious that she said yes."

The memory crushes me. I was so cruel to her. She was happy—she found love—and I couldn't stand it. I thought I was protecting her, but I was only pushing her away.

"I told her he’d sleep with her and leave the first chance he got," I whisper, ashamed. "She left the house crying, and I hoped he’d send her back home when he saw her like that. But he didn’t. That night, they became official, and she came home glowing. And I—" My voice cracks. "I couldn’t even be happy for her."

Liam shifts slightly, holding me tighter, silently urging me to keep going.

"I was so determined to hate him that I never gave him a chance. But, Liam, he loved her. He loved her so damn much." A sob escapes me. "At that party, they were so happy. He looked at her like she was his whole world. He gave up Cambridge—his dream school—just to stay close to her. But I refused to see it."

The tears come harder now, my throat aching. Flashes of that night—the laughter, the music, the flashing lights—turn into a nightmare in my mind.

"I brought him that beer, you know?" I whisper brokenly. "I wanted to prove a point—that he was reckless. But he only had one. Just one. He wasn’t drunk, not enough for it to matter." I shake my head. "I refused to get in the car with them at first—not because I thought he was too drunk to drive, but because I wanted Criss to see how irresponsible he was. I wanted her to regret choosing him."

I squeeze my eyes shut, but the memory plays anyway, vivid and cruel.

"I started a fight in the car. I couldn’t stand how happy she was, how she looked at him with so much love. I lashed out. I told him he’d cheat on her, that he’d break her heart, that she was just another girl to him. He got angry and snapped back. He told me I was so bitter, so jealous of her happiness, that it ate me alive." I let out a bitter laugh, but it tastes like poison. "And the worst part? He was right."

Liam stiffens against me, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop.

"Criss tried to calm us down, but we wouldn’t listen. She cried, begging us to stop. And then—" My breath hitches. "Then Luke turned to apologize to me. He was the bigger person. Even after everything, he wanted to make things right."

I pull away slightly, just enough to look into Liam’s eyes, my own filled with nothing but pain.

"And that’s when it happened," I whisper. "That’s when he didn’t see the truck."

Liam’s grip on me tightens.

"The impact hit the right side," I say, voice hollow. "Where Criss and I were sitting. Luke didn’t even hesitate—he unbuckled his seatbelt and threw himself over her, shielding her with his body." My voice cracks. "He saved my life, Liam. The boy I hated so much gave his own life to protect my sister."

I let out a choked sob.

"I remember the silence after the crash. The ringing in my ears. The smell of gasoline and blood." I close my eyes, and I’m back in that car. "I heard him, Liam. I heard him whispering to her, trying to comfort her. He told her not to cry, that she’d be okay. That he loved her. He said, ‘It’ll be alright, my love, I promise.’" My voice breaks completely. "And then he was gone."

Liam presses his forehead against mine, his hands cradling my face, but I shake my head violently.

"It was my fault," I whisper, my breath shaky. "If I hadn’t picked that fight, he would have seen the truck. If I hadn’t hated him so much, none of this would have happened."

Liam’s grip on me tightens. "No, Nataly. It wasn’t your fault."

I sob, curling into him, gripping his shirt like it’s the only thing keeping me from collapsing. But he doesn’t let me break.

"You thought you were protecting her," he says softly, his voice steady. "You didn’t know what was going to happen. You were a sister who loved her and made mistakes, just like anyone else."

I shake my head, but he doesn’t let go. He holds me like he’s holding my broken pieces together, like he refuses to let me fall apart completely.

And I do the only thing I can—I let myself cry. For the first time since the accident, I let it all out. The guilt, the grief, the regret. Liam doesn’t try to stop my tears, doesn’t try to tell me it’s okay. He just holds me, his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back, his lips pressing a soft kiss against my hair.

"I’m here, cookie," he whispers. "And I always will be."

And for the first time in forever, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to carry this alone.