Leopolitan [Jung Jaehyun NCT, 18+, Bodyguard AU, Hybrid AU]

feared

Hey everyone so I watched the NCT 2020 RESONANCE TRAILER!!!! I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY, I'M BREAKING DOWN, THEY'VE GOTTEN SO FAR, THESE SMALL BOYS WITH BIG HEARTS, AIMING FOR GOALS THEY CAN'T EVEN SEE OVER THE HORIZON. THEY DESERVE THE WORLD. 💚

I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter, thanks so much for 500+ reads and 100+ votes <3<3<3<3!!!!

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of violence. Please refrain from progressing if these topics make you uncomfortable.

Doyoung woke up to his phone ringing at 2.30 a.m, feeling slightly irritated at whoever was calling him.

He had his university tests coming up, he had to catch up on sleep while it still fit into his schedule.

"Unfavorite Person" said the caller ID and Doyoung at this moment felt any other name couldn't fit you.

"The fuck Y/N, some of us actually need to sleep at 2-" his voice drained off as he heard the soft whimpers on the other side.

"Doyoung- I- I," first you were sobbing.

"What, Y/N are you okay? What's going on? Why are you crying?"

"I did- I did something horrible Doyoung..."

Your voice whispered, mixed with soft sniffles.

"Y/N? Y/N!!! What are you talking about?"

He was wide awake now, already putting his shoes on, reaching for your jacket as your voice was rising in pitch and volume.

"I DID IT!!! I'M A FUCKING MONSTER DOYOUNG!!! I DESERVE TO GO FUCKING DIE OR SOMETHING!!! NO NOT EVEN THAT WILL BE ENOUGH!!!"

Then you were screaming, completely hysterical.
At some point of Doyoung stepping out the door your words had turned into frantic screaming.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP Y/N!!! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE!!!"

You woke up in cold sweat, your chest heaving a mile per second, your hair sticking to your face and your entire body, trembling, shaking.

Your eyes were wide as the images flashed before your eyes, the last look in his eyes, the blood, the faraway neon lights, the way the screams had released themselves from your depth, Doyoung, his eyes frantic as he stared at you for a second, not believing what he was seeing, for a second, not trusting you.

Doyoung might have saved you, and he might continue to do so to this day but you still remembered.

You would never, ever forget that crucial moment.
Where for a second, the fear flashed across his face.

Sometimes Johnny used to joke about how you two made the sweetest couple.

But you would never see him as more than a friend, a friend that for a moment, didn't trust you.
But feared you.
And feared a future with you.

You slipped out of your bed, opening the window to feel the cool air hit your warm face, your breathing returning to an acceptable rate as did your heartbeat.

You hadn't seen a nightmare in a while. Now that it was over you were thankful, you even felt refreshed.

You hadn't felt fear in a good second, and it brought you back to reality.
The reality that you would never forgive yourself.

And neither would anyone else when they got to know.
It was pointless to fathom life's luxuries of having one to trust, to smile wholeheartedly with, to love unconditionally.

No matter who it was, they'd have a second, a raw unguarded second where they thought you weren't paying attention, where that look would flash across their eyes.
The doubt, the fear.

You slipped out of the window onto the small strip of balcony, swinging yourself weightlessly from the pipes and knobs as a memory flashed across your eyes.

You were walking home with two of your colleagues after the internship at a company that had accepted you right after university.

Your colleagues were talking animatedly, but by now you were reserved, you had to hide your identity from most of the people you met and that itself stopped you from focusing too much on human connection.

As you swing your way upstairs through the numerous balconies and rails of your apartment building, you remembered the huge dog running towards the three of you.

You remembered your colleagues screaming and running as the aggressive animal came towards you, baring it's teeth.

You remembered your friends scrambling onto some boxes in the corner, screaming for you to move, do something to save yourself.

But you didn't remember feeling fear.
At all.

You bent down till the racing hound was at eye level, and stared at him.
You just watched, time seemed to slow down as it kept running towards you.

It was a metre away now, and still, you didn't feel any fear.
And as it almost collided with your face, you remembered calmly tumbling to the side, rolling away as the dog, caught by inertia couldn't stop himself from colliding against the pile of bricks behind you.

And then you lifted it's whining body with your hands and took him to the vet.

Your colleagues stared at you but it was all very simple.
What was there to be scared about?
You lived everyday with something much more terrifying than a rabid canine.

You lived with yourself, someone even you couldn't trust.