The Wanderer

Chapter 13

Standing close to the fire, I feel the heat radiating off it. It warms my entire body, making my skin feel hot to the touch. The smoke from the cooking meat smells divine, my stomach growling.

The hunger in my stomach is slight but noticeable, having missed lunch to go hunting.

As I roast the meat over the firepit, I notice the line of pack members growing larger.

The kind pack members that were cooking before let me take over with a lot of reluctance.

"Are you sure you want to be doing this, Luna? You can go relax with your mate if you want." The kind, middle aged woman named Elle tries to take over, relieving me of the position of roaster.

I insist, "I'm completely fine. I want to get closer with the pack, and this is a place to start." Avoiding her suggestion to relax with Nikolai, who I'm still slightly mad at, I continue holding the meat over the fire. "I was wondering why we serve the meat like this, with everyone in a line?"

Elle laughs lightheartedly, before explaining, "It must seem odd to someone who isn't used to our customs. To celebrate the hunt and our pack members who provided for the pack, we serve the food after it is cooked in front of everyone. They see the animal and know that the strength and skill of our pack is the reason they get to eat. We do this every once and awhile, to boost our pack morale."

I hand the meat that is on a stick to the next person in line as Elle hands me a new stick of meat to heat up. Nodding along with what she is saying, I understand this tradition. It shows everyone that you have to work for what you get, and that nothing is achieved without effort. They watch us cook, after the hunters had to kill the meat, and are more thankful for us.

Like every person before them, this pack member says, "Thank you, Luna."

Smiling, I wave as they leave to hang out with the rest of the pack who has gotten their food. They all migrated to the large picnic tables to eat their meat, as if this was any other normal dinner.

The process of Elle handing me prepared meat on a stick to heat up goes on until the last member in line says, "Thank you, Luna." Elle hands me the last three sticks, one for me, for her, and for Niko. Heating the deer up quickly, the red meat turns to brown as it is cooked.

Elle heads over to the tables to hang out with her friends, leaving me to hand Niko his food. Knowing that I had to confront him at sometime, I guess the time is now.

I walk slowly, prolonging the time it takes to reach him. Procrastinating is my specialty, and if I can procrastinate this conversation, I will.

Niko is standing at the head of the table, watching as his pack eats and talks amongst themselves. He stands stiff, ready for any surprise to be thrown at him.

Stepping beside him wordlessly, I hand him the meat. As he grabs it, our fingers brush lightly, making the tingles erupt full force. Even though I am mad at him, I can't deny our bond.

We eat in silence, watching over the pack as they munch on the deer that I killed. You could tell that it was my deer because of how slashed up it was.

That didn't make the food any less delicious, it tastes much better than when I would eat it raw. My wolf side always enjoyed eating the raw meat, but the human side could never get on board fully. I tolerated it, and the raw meat of a rabbit was like heaven to my starving self.

Any food I could get, I would eat. I scoured for berries when I couldn't hunt. I even tried fishing in a river I came across. Eventually, I figured out how to hunt, because it was either learn or die.

My eyes scan the pack, looking for one person that I knew would stand out. Abby's medium brown hair was easy to spot, as she was one of the taller females. She seemed to be healed, I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her since she was already served before I helped.

Finishing the last bit of meat, I put the stick in the finished pile that is to be burned, and make my way to where Abby is sitting.

She seems to be just talking, already having finished eating. Everyone quiets down as I walk by, drawing Abby's attention my way.

Once I reach her, I say what was on my mind, "I apologize for hurting you. You are my pack member and I am meant to protect you." I honestly felt bad for hurting her, even though I know it needed to be done. She couldn't disrespect me like that and get away with it.

"No. I should be apologizing to you. I thought the moon goddess had made a mistake in making you Luna, but I see now that you were meant to be here. You were meant to lead, and it is my fault for questioning your abilities. I hope we can put this behind us, and maybe become friends." She smiles at me, a hopeful tone in her voice.

Smiling right back, I say, "Of course, I'd love to be friends." I start to walk away, knowing I need to talk with Niko. "Hope to see you around."

She waves at me with a wide smile on her face, before turning back to her friends who are all congratulating her. I hope she doesn't waste her second chance.

As I walk away from her, I notice Niko storming into the house. Following him immediately, I can tell he is conflicted on how to handle our situation. I'm conflicted too.

He stomps up the stairs, me right behind him. Walking into his room, he leaves the door open, an invitation for me to come in.

Turning to face me, his heavy breathing slows down just by meeting my eyes. I stare at his black gaze, us both saying at the same time, "I'm sorry."

We both pause, shocked to hear the other say that. He then lets out a deep chuckle, something I wouldn't have ever expected to hear. It's not sarcastic, it is a genuine laugh that warms my heart.

"You first," we both say simultaneously.

His laugh turns into a grin, before he says, "I'll go."

I sit on the dark covers of the bed, knowing this conversation is going to be a long one. Crossing my toned legs over one another, I lay back on my elbows, making myself comfortable.

"I know you will be a great leader, I'm just insecure. I know you said you need me, but it doesn't feel that way. My feelings are so intense that I almost hunted down that wolf for eating with my mate. I was jealous, and even though it was a wild wolf, my wolf saw it as competition." Niko takes a deep breath before starting up again. "I know I am pushing you away, but it is only because I'm scared you might break my heart. I'm not used to having to rely so heavily on someone, and now that I need you, I can't help but be reminded of my past. The last time I relied on someone, they broke my heart and I was left on my own."

He sits beside me, his head down. "I don't want to lose you, and when you ran off by yourself, I thought maybe you had left me. Then you came back with another wolf's scent on you and I didn't know what to think."

Sitting up, I grab his hand, trying to show him that I won't leave him. "I know we just met, but I'm never going to leave, no matter how much you push me away. I know you felt hurt and scared, but I shouldn't have left that easily. I should've stayed to talk it out, not just try to ignore the problem. I should know by now that ignoring my problems doesn't solve anything."

His lips quirk up slightly at my words, having the reassurance he needed. I guess I didn't realize that I needed to reassure him of my feelings through actions. My words are not enough, as I need to prove myself to him.

"I really want to be here for you, Niko. I know that we both have a past we don't want to talk about, but I wanted to let you know that I will be here for you whenever you decide to open up."

He runs his hand over his face, sighing deeply. "I want to open up, it sounds so easy. But talking about it makes it real and reminds me that it happened. I've tried to avoid it, and now I don't know any other way to live."

Squeezing his hand, his words strike a chord with me. All I've ever done is avoid my problems, trying to forget the pain it caused. "I wandered to avoid the pain of the past. But one day, we have to face it, and we will face it together. You will always have me, through anything life throws at us."

Another genuine grin appears on his face, making my heart flutter. He is just so gorgeous.

I'm glad I can make him smile, I know just how hard it is sometimes. Sometimes you have no will to do anything. After everything you've been through, you just don't see the point.

He has made me smile, and I hope to continue doing the same for him.