soft prince

Yellow 3 part 1

As the screaming word and the mocking laughter from inside my brain gets louder until my ears start to ring.
once again i didnt have a chance...

-
Brandon POV

He was kinda cute, his short yet chonky (yes I meant chonky) figure matched perfectly with his silver hair and shy smile, it kind of made him look  like some small pup or koala.

Lucas, his name suited him it had a nice ring to it; nodding my head I wave softly to him smiling before I went back to focusing on the conversation at hand. Occasionally my attention would flit  back to the small pup curled up on Max's lap, he seemed troubled like he was having some kind of mental battle and wanted no one to notice.

Taking sam's hand softly in mine to get his attention i nod my head towards the small boy and lift my hand up tugging my ear softly, catching on imediatly sam stands up and aproches lucas slowly before kneeling down and muttering something to max. taking the small boy into his arms he pets lucas' hair and stands up walking over to me, he places a small kiss on the top of my head and leaves the hut into walking into the brisk wind and eventually into the empty house .

Lucas is truly adoreable, he's just so small and soft but i have been warned that he's not always like that, i cant seem to imagine him any other way though no matter how bratty he can be. Looking after him last night even if it was only for a short while reminded me of a little i used to look after, they were my pride and joy but sadly we were both inexperienced and that lead us down the wrong path within our already complicated relationship, until evetually we ended up hurting each other

  i havent really looked after a little after that apart from the ocassional baby sitting but then im always scared that im going to do something wrong. Lucas has the aura that makes me want to at least try again but that in itself terrifies me.

  Learning from my mistakes as a caregiver is key to being able to look after a little better, but i do not know if i am i ready to accept my mistakes and act upon them.  I dont want yo end up once again giving up and walk away without even trying.

yes he makes me want to take care of him and evaporate his worries into nothing but he also brings out a fear within me that i thought i had burried long ago.

i vowed that if i ever took care of a little again i would never make the same mistakes. He draws me in like some mysterious aroma the question is if i should follow the scent or not. I don't know if I'm ready or even how to tell if i am ready.
I am scared.