Emotions

Diary of pain

I feel so broken and empty inside that Idk if I'll ever be ok... I feel like nobody in my family knows how I'm feeling and I feel like I can't tell them either. I just don't want to be here anymore it's like the more I'm by myself the more I lose myself I'm not happy and I haven't really felt fully happy in a long time. I don't want to bother my best friends about this but I also don't want to bottle it up anymore. All these feelings I have are pain but I don't show because I don't wanna be a burden to anybody. I don't know wat to do anymore. I have days where I don't wanna eat or talk to anyone and at night it's like I can't sleep because I have so much on my mind. I've been hurt but I don't show, I've cried, I've cut and I honestly think everything is getting worse. I feel like I have nobody and I'm all alone. I'm crying while writing this because everything feels like it's falling apart. I hide my pain, my hurt, and my feelings and I just be there for everyone else even if I'm going through something. I wish I could go back before all the hurt and the pain I just wanna be happy again... My best friends was there for me even when I wasn't there for myself. I've made a lot of mistakes in my past and I have regretted them. I want to change, I need to change I need professional help but I'm scared to have it because I don't know how to deal with it. I'm scared to actually get help and tell my family especially my mom and dad that their little girl isn't happy and everything isn't ok or fine. I'm scared that everything would change for the worst. I love the people that was there for me and helped me.