Consequences (Brad Simpson)

Chapter 17

Brad 

When Chloe told me her past and how she's struggling I felt sad for her not because she's my girlfriend or because she's my bandmates sister but because it's hard to go through an addiction but she's been sober for 4 years and that's a long time so of course I'm going to help her in any way I can to make sure she gets through this. It was show time and I was so pumped, Chloe was taking photos and videos she was down on the ground when I put my hand out the security guards helped her up and she got some shots of me and the boys. 

The show ended and I was talking to Connor in his room before heading back up to mine "hey Chloe told me" I said to him he nodded "I really want to help her" I added "I know you do mate but she needs to do this on her own, we can support her but that's all she has her sponsors number to call in times like these" he said "she gave me these" I said handing him the pills he just looked at me "she also told me not to give them to her" I added he took them from my hand "I'll keep them" he replied I nodded.

Chloe 

While Brad was doing god knows what I was sitting on the bed thinking about everything I told Brad, yeah he was supportive and being really nice and understanding but what did he really think? He probably thinks I should be locked up in a mental hospital, I sighed really hating my subconscious sometimes I just started thinking and sometimes its a bad thing because its mainly negative thoughts about all the bad outcomes that could come my way and I snapped and broke down.

I threw some stuff across the room and fell to the ground in tears, I heard the door open "oh babe" I heard Brad said running to my side "are you sure you still want to be with a mess?" I asked him through my tears "I'd pick you always" he said which brought some comfort. I'd finally calmed down "I can't do this" I told him "do what?" He asked confused "the rest of the tour I need help now or I'm going to relapse bad" I admitted to him he nodded

"Con said that" he told me "you talked to Connor?" I asked "yeah I wanted to know if I could help you" he answered I nodded "it's all this pressure I don't know how you deal with it" I asked "we didn't at the start" he said "well yeah I know what group of boys from 15 to 18 knows how to deal with this" I replied "look do what you need too because I want you to look after yourself and if this is how you start then do it" he told me "but what about my job?" I asked "it will be here when you get back" he said "but we still have another month of the tour" I replied

"we have Dean he's managed himself before and he can for another month" he admitted I nodded "I'm sorry" I told him "don't be sorry you've got nothing to be sorry about" he replied. That night Lucy and I left the hotel without saying goodbye so I couldn't talk myself out of it, we were at the airport waiting to check in I felt so bad for leaving and she had to leave with me "I'm such a horrible person" I said "you're not and someone wants to say bye" she said making me turn round to see my brother and Brad standing there

I ducked under the barrier thing and ran to them "you could of said bye" Connor said "shut up" I replied "we'll see you on the other side" he said hugging me I nodded not wanting to cry he let me go and went to talk to Lucy "I got worried when you weren't next to me" Brad said I looked at the ground "sorry" I muttered he put his hand under my chin to make me look at him, he kissed me I pulled me "I love you" I told him "I love you too" he replied I don't think we even realised what we said I just looked at him with a smile before giving me a hug "I'll miss you" I said trying not to cry "I'll miss you more" he told me.

Lucy and I had just landed in London, we got a taxi to the flat so I could unpack all my tour stuff and repack my small case with plain clothes and stuff then we got a taxi to a rehabilitation centre that I went to a few years ago Lucy hugged me and told me she would take care of the boys when they got back in case I wasn't out by the time the tour finished as it depends on the programme you're on.

I walked in put all my belongings "oh wait" I said taking my phone out my bag to call Connor "hello?" He said sounding half asleep "hey it's me" I replied "how are you?" He asked more awake "fine but listen I'm not at the flat I'm at the rehab centre" I told him "Chloe focus on you okay? Come home soon" he told me "is Brad with you?" I asked "eh yeah here you go" he said passing the phone on "hey" he said sounding sleepy "hi" I replied "I just wanted to say I love you and can you take care of each other please?" I asked him "yeah and I love you too" he replied "love you Chloe!" I heard Con yell "tell him I love him back" I said smiling before it quickly faded "I have to go but I'll call you when I'm out, they don't have phones here" I told him "okay bye Chloe" he said "bye Brad" I replied and hung up

I turned back to the person they looked like they felt sorry for me, I continued to place all my items into the box and checked myself in. It must of been a few weeks and I had asked to go to the music room for a few hours which they allowed I walked over to the piano and played paper hearts

"There's a lot of things that I may not know
But missing you baby is the only thing I know
I know
And who am I to say what the future holds
But missing you baby is the only thing I know
I know
If my heart was paper, I'd fold it
Throw it to the wind and just hope it

Ends up with you
I signed it with love from me to you
I tried to be cool
But my feelings they don't allow me to
And all that I ask
Is that at least you write me back
I'm waiting
Here's my paper heart
Won't you hold it, hold it

Said you needed space
So I gave you time
A year has gone by

And I'm thinking you're still mine
In my mind
And I've written you this letter
Like a hundred times
To start a conversation
That we should have had that night
I try
If my heart was paper, I'd fold it
Throw it to the wind and just hope it

Ends up with you
I signed it with love from me to you
I tried to be cool
But my feelings they don't allow me to
And all that I ask
Is that at least you write me back
I'm waiting
Here's my paper heart
Won't you hold it, hold it

Flying through fields over sand
Hoping one day it will land

And end up with you
I signed it with love from me to you
I tried to be cool

But my feelings they don't allow me to
And all that I ask
Is that at least you write me back
I'm waiting
Here's my paper heart
And I just hope it

Ends up with you
I signed it with love from me to you
I tried to be cool
But my feelings they don't allow me to
And all that I ask
Is that at least you write me back
I'm waiting
Here's my paper heart
Won't you hold it, hold it

Hold it, hold it
There's a lot of things that I may not know
But missing you, baby, is the only thing I know I know"

I sang I felt my heart break a bit because I have no contact with anyone I mean we can write letters but I don't know if they get sent, once I went back to my room I took out a piece of paper and made a paper heart with a little drawing of a paper plane on it I wrote a letter to Brad and Connor telling them how much I miss and love them and I just hope I'm not away for too long. I got an envelope wrote the address on it and gave it to the receptionist "can this get sent please?" I asked her "of course" she replied as I watched her put in the mail bag.

*****3 months later*****

Today was the day I was finally getting out when I collected my personal items "your brother is here to pick you up" the receptionist told me "thank you" I replied, I walked out the building to see some paparazzi taking photos which I just ignored I saw Connor and I ran to him he hugged me "I missed you" I said "missed you more" he replied.