For Honor or Glory

Birthday

Chapter 3

Both Gillian and Alex were walking around the room, trying to tidy up after the last of their guests left. When the older woman noticed her daughter trying to help, she shooed her away. "This is your birthday, there is no need for you to clean up."

Alex gave her mother a half-smile. "That also means all these people were here on my behalf. There is no reason I can't clean up after my guests."

Gillian frowned at her daughter but saw that it would be useless arguing over it. Instead, she changed the subject as they both continued to clean. "I don't think I saw the gifts from Angeal and Genesis today. Did you forget to bring them out? I know they both sent you a package."

Alex paused in wiping off the table. For the first time, Gillian noticed how much the girl had been holding back. She dropped her rag and went to pull her daughter into a hug, and her voice was low. "I know you miss them. I'm sure they miss you too."

Alex leaned into her mother's embrace. It felt good to have that little bit of understanding, even if she still refused to cry. It was several moments before she was able to pull herself back from that brink and extricate herself. When she did, she gave her mother a smile. "I guess you just didn't see them. I had them both on the table. Angeal sent me the inscribed bracelet that said something about aiming for the stars to fulfill my dreams, and Genesis sent me that beautiful bookmark with the pressed flower encased in it."

Even though Alex had tried to distract her mother, she could tell it hadn't worked. She looked away as she answered the unspoken question in her mother's eyes. "I know it's just a matter of time, so it'll be alright."

Gillian gave her daughter a worried look. No matter how much the girl tried to hide it, there was no way she wouldn't notice how upset she really was. Too many birthdays without her twin had already gone by. Besides, there was something she needed to speak to her daughter about that was already past due.

She gently took Alex by the arm and led her to a seat. Once they were both in the chairs, she gave her daughter a worried look. "Alex, I know you have wanted to follow Angeal since they left. As much as I may not want to see you leave too, you do know that I will be able to take care of everything by myself, right? You are already nineteen. We all expected you to leave last year."

Alex looked away, uncomfortably. Her mother wasn't wrong, but things were never that easy. She was just as dedicated to upholding her personal honor as her brother, even if she didn't expound on it as often. Though she wasn't quite sure how to tell her mother that. Finally, she just shrugged and tried to explain. "I know, and you aren't wrong. That doesn't mean I am willing to just walk away without making sure you can live comfortably without feeling like you have to work yourself to death. Besides, you know I am only one class away from finishing my degree. It isn't much, but I hope it will help wherever I end up."

Gillian frowned at her daughter, even if none of what she heard surprised her. Though her voice was still soft when she answered. "We are already in good shape. Most of the bills are paid in full, except for the things we need each month. Those are small enough that I can more than take care of them alone. And as for your classes, they are all via the mail. You can finish them from anywhere."

Alex felt so conflicted at that moment. She did want to leave. There was a large part of her heart, urging her to go upstairs and pack everything she owned that very moment. However, she knew Angeal wouldn't be happy if their mother suffered because of her impulsiveness.

She was shocked out of her worry when her mother clasped her shoulder and gave her a smile. "Quit worrying about me. I don't know what it is about the two of you, but you both seem to forget that it's my job to take care of you, not the other way around." When Alex looked like she was going to say something, Gillian cut back in with a soft smile. "At least think about it. The last thing I want to see is you putting your dreams on hold for me. Or for your brother. You both deserve to be happy."

Alex finally sighed and leaned over to give her mother a tight hug. Her voice was a little choked when she spoke. "Thanks, mom." She then pulled back with a lopsided smile. "You know the reason we both worry is because you have taken care of us. You have always given us what we need, even if it wasn't always what we wanted, and that means you deserve a break too."

Gillian chuckled at her daughter's quip but didn't get to say anything as Alex stood. When she looked down, her smile faltered, but her voice was steady again. "Tell you what, mom. I promise to at least consider it."

Gillian sighed but didn't comment. She knew that was the best she was going to get for the moment. Instead, she stood as well and turned her daughter to the door. "Fine, but I want you to go enjoy the rest of the day. There is no point in you being cooped up while it isn't raining. We both know the storms will be back soon enough." Alex chuckled at her mother's insistence as she finally gave in. She only paused long enough to grab something from the table before she ducked out the door.

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It was less than a half-hour later that Alex found herself standing outside the entrance to the caves she used to play in with her brother and Genesis. It wasn't the first time she had been back there since they had been gone, but it was the first time in over a year. She hesitated there for several minutes for the same reason she was hesitating about going to Midgar.

What she told her mother was the truth, but it wasn't all of it. Part of it was the fact that she was unsure about what was waiting for her. She knew she had grown and wasn't the same immature girl that pulled Genesis's hair and stuck her tongue out every time he irritated her. Looking back on that made her chuckle, but it also made her wonder about the boys. Especially since she knew they were no longer boys.

It didn't help that her gift was the first thing she had received from Genesis in nearly a year. Even the previous year, his letters had been sparse. That fact, combined with the news she saw all the time after he was promoted to First, was enough for her to know that if he even thought about her, it wasn't likely to be in the same way as he used to. Not that she hadn't expected it, but it still hurt. Even if it had been more than four and a half years since she had last since either of them.

All of this was going through her head as she stared down at the bookmark Genesis had sent her. It was a beautiful gift. The flower was real, and the material it was sealed in preserved the vibrant colors. She would definitely use it too, which didn't help her state of mind. He still knew her well enough to know that she would appreciate the uniqueness even more than if it had been something grand. That meant he hadn't forgotten her.

She finally sighed as she looked into the darkness. No matter what the future held, there was no point in her avoiding the past. If she was going to leave, then the least she could do was enjoy that memory before it faded into oblivion. With that thought, she pocketed the bookmark and pulled out a light.

Despite how long it had been since she had navigated the caves, it didn't take her long to make her way to the room where they spent so much of their time as children. She went straight to the desk that held pictures of them all as well as Genesis's trophies. She took a moment to light the lantern there before she stepped back and looked around.

It was almost like she had been transported back in time. Everything looked the same as when they all came there to play. There were even a few trinkets on the desk, like the yoyo she had tried to learn to do tricks with. She chuckled at the memory of nearly taking off her brother's head with it.

As she went through the items on the table, many more similar memories came back. She never lost her smile, but her tears had finally started to fall. When she came across a picture taken of the three of them all hanging upside down from one of the dumbapple trees, she chuckled wetly. Her fingers brushed across their carefree smiles before she picked it up and placed it in her pocket.

She then stepped back and looked around again. She took a moment to say goodbye to all the happy memories. She knew more could be made, but she also knew things would never be the same. She sighed and wiped away her tears as she turned to head back to her house. She had a lot to think about.