My Love Life

Chapter 6: What are we?

Time flew fast. It was already September. The weather was almost hot around this time of the year.... September brought us to out first ever full book tests. Or "mock exams 1" as we called them. 3 I had passed gaining a 100% score, the rest 5 were still to be held. Ever since that day, I was constantly thinking about the relation between him & me. Was he serious about that? I mean he did cared a lot for me, he even fought the guy who did nothing but moved me aside ... quite violently. But I guess any friend would do the same. We had kissed, it wasn't a dream. I was somewhat proud of the mark, but it faded in 4-5 days. I loved it. It seemed like a proof of love. Though we had kissed, we also cared for each other. I was the silent sharp kid & he was the strong & confident social guy. A perfect match. He was the guy who would talk from day to night. And I just couldn't ignore him. I replied to every question he asked, I asked everything he wanted me to ask. Somehow to me he seemed transparent. I could see right through him. Whenever I looked at him, I would instantly realize what he wants to say & what's on his mind.

Now here we were, in class. Same seat as always. Ms. Chemistry (that's what we called our chemistry teacher) was absent today. So we had a free lecture. A free lecture in an all boys classroom. Imagine it. Though no matter the occasion, no one approached me. They'd just laugh among themselves & no one would come to talk to me. Except him. Ali was the only one who ever came to talk to me. And as the whole class was gathered to one side, he was still here. Upfront, by my side. Watching me practicing Calligraphy. It was just a sudden passion that rose in me in April same year. I was apparently the only one who wrote exams in calligraphy. "How do you even do that?",he asked. "Well it's simple, with the slanted edge marker I'm using it's very easy. You start with one corner of the nib with low pressure creating a hairline. While bringing the marker downwards, you twist it slightly shifting from the nib corner to the entirety of the flat nib. And there you have it copperplate without proper tools", I explained while making just a straight line. "That's beautiful...",he trailed off."....Show me the best of you",he added. That made my heart skip a beat. Did he just called my work beautiful? I was overjoyed. It was like I was waiting for him to praise me & I'd work harder. Picked up my marker & wrote the best I possibly could. Repeated one line "Calligraphers do it better" in all the fonts I knew at that time and dated it. 15 September 2019. Ali was watching the whole work. "Aryan, it's beautiful", he commented. "Yes I know?", I replied. I myself was surprised over how beautiful it came out. For a teacher-less calligrapher like me who had only been writing on tests for about 6 months it was amazingly beautiful. I was happy & then suddenly some words left my mouth. "I need to tell you something",I said. "Yeah?",he replied instantly. "Promise me it'll stay between only you & me",I said again. I was nervous.  "Yeah I don't leak our secrets, my mouth is zipped",he said mimicking his mouth being zipped. The kids were talking and laughing loudly. Chemistry was the last lecture. The room was overly filled with noises. "I......am gay", I said clearly looking into his eyes. The whole room seemed to have gone in a state of silence. His eyes showed multiple emotions. Shock, disbelief, sympathy, confusion, love..... hate. And the bell rang. I picked up my bag. "Please don't think too much about it, you're the first to know", I said while lending him a hand to get up. "Yeah....", he said while standing up ignoring my hand. Neither he made eye contact, nor said a bye. And I was there just watching him walk away.

A week passed since the incident. No approach was made by him. He didn't sit beside me anymore. He switched with someone else. In the past week, he never replied, never picked up his phone, never turned around when I called him. I.....had ruined it. I ruined what I had while trying to get something I did not. It wasn't his fault though. Almost 98% of the muslim majority is homophobic, they'd lawfully even kill the homosexuals cause the LAW allows it. The religion says homosexuality is a sin. Though I was hurt nonetheless. I never expected Ali to just leave me like that. The Ali I knew didn't had such a closed up mind. The Ali I knew was open, & accepting.