Melt The Ice In My Heart | Vikings

His Side Or My Own | Part 1

"I had heard you scream... a young girl, begging to stop hurting her. It had haunt me the same way Jarl was haunted by his wife's. I had stormed in-..."

"Ragnar followed and you killed my father." I silently whispered as I stared up at Rollo while continuing the story we both had taken a part in that day. I could see his eyes glancing down at my lips as I had spoken up at him and knew what to expect. If I wanted it... that was another question....

~~~

I softly laid my fingers on his jaw, shaking my head as his eyes examined me from head to toe, confused of my respond.

"Rollo... I... we..." I sighed, trying to not stumble over my words. "This can't happen. You're married."

"You want it, same as me."

"It's just.. I won't let you hurt Siggy. I'm sorry." I lowered my head before pushing myself past him, hoping that I would forget what had happened this evening. It tore me apart to not be with him, but he was married to a friend. I couldn't help him cheat on her, I was not like that. I roamed through the hallways like I did before all this and quickly opened the door to my chamber, closing it behind me after. I leaned myself against it and slowly made myself slide down the door into a sitting position. With my face in my hands, I, for the second time, told myself it was the right thing that I did for Siggy and Rollo. But deep down the pain started to hurt even more.

The following few days I tried to ignore him because every time I saw him it felt like my heart was stabbed over and over again. The first time I heard the news he was married it had hurt, but I could suppress it by telling myself he deserved it, it made him happy and I was finally okay with it. But the moment he and I ended up alone and he had told me he wanted me instead of her, I... I couldn't handle it. He had thrown my desires all over the place and I couldn't gather them anymore. I would have given him what he wanted if he wasn't bounded to someone else, but he was and I wasn't such a toxic person to destroy their marriage so I locked myself up away from him.

Only, I had to eat. I had skipped dinner for three days and my recovery was even more delayed by it so today I made the decision to show up tonight. Walking nervously through the dark hall I opened the heavy doors to the dining room, nodding at the Jarl before taking a seat next to Rollo.

"I trust all is to your satisfaction."

"You feed me." Quickly Rollo had corrected himself when he noticed me sitting down next to him. "Us... very well."

"You're an important guest. Same as the woman next to you." He pointed at me as I stared at my food, still not hungry. "We would like to keep you two entertained until your brother returns."

"You always talk about my brother." Borg sat down, taking off his fur coat.

"What choice do I have? He is your earl. Which one would you like tonight?" Jarl looked over his shoulder to the two women and I scoffed in disgust. "Why don't you take both of them?"

"I don't need to be bribed with women." Rollo took a sip and Jarl straightened his back, confused of what he had heard.

"What is it you want, Rollo?" The Jarl had caught his attention and Rollo had put down his glass, glaring at me up and down and I knew exactly what he meant. "What is it you really want?"

The Jarl had again repeated his question with an curious tone in his voice, but had already understood the sign of Rollo watching me. I awkwardly tried to hide myself a little bit more in my fur and quickly started to pay attention to my food, feeling a bit weird being under the gaze of two men. Normally it wouldn't be that big of a problem I had a lot of male friends, but I knew how these men meant it and I didn't feel comfortable with it. Jarl Borg seemed to enjoy my embarrassment, but Rollo had soon stopped and instead smiled at me before patting me on the shoulder. "I'm sorry... I'm happy you came to eat. I was worried you would starve to death."

"I wouldn't, you know that I wouldn't." I chuckled, feeling a little bit normal again.

~~~

The time between that dinner and the arrival of Ragnar was quite enjoyable. Rollo and I returned to who we were before, well, I explained it a little bit more why I turned him down that evening and why I had ignored him and it made him more friendly and less sexually towards me which I appreciated a lot. Though, we did become closer than before and had experienced some fun moments together. People were chattering as Rollo and I shared our food and Ragnar had met another woman which made me think about the things they had experienced.

"We welcome our guests to this feast. Now tell us what you learned from King Horik. What compromises is he willing to make?"

"Can I not eat first." Floki stated and I laughed as Rollo almost chocked on his beer. He then watched Jarl and shrugged very lightly. "Well, he said...."

"What did he say?" Suddenly Rollo and Ragnar watched each other hateful and I narrowed my eyes while furrowing my eyebrows. "What did he say?"

"He will make no compromises, no deals. He say you must name your price for the land."

"Or?" Borg asked in annoyance.

"He didn't say 'or'...