From Night On: Magdalene

Chapters 19-20

Chapter 19:

Noble Truth

Their pace slowed to a gentle wandering as they made their way through the busy, merchant stall filled lanes of Qom. The even hum of the many conversations murmuring about them and the high, sandstone and clay walls of the buildings bounced the sounds about, offering an odd sense of privacy to their conversation beneath the white noise of city life. Nobody was paying attention to them. Every person walking by, bartering for this or that, or discussing business deals had more concerns in their daily lives than the quiet conversation of two foreigners walking among them.

"How could you be Baal?" Meira asked him, the pain of internal conflict knitting her brow. "He is the King of Lies, the lord of shedim. Has all of this been a lie? Has our friendship been a lie?"

Thomas sighed from the regret of being so forthcoming with her, knowing, then, how it would only add to the conflict he had wished to help alleviate in the tower back in Ecbatana. "That's why I wanted to be honest with you," he said. "I know what the Yehudhi teach about the old gods and I know you're already having to struggle with everything you've been learning. I'm deeply sorry for doing this to you, but I didn't know what else to do." He appeared worried and on the brink of fear. "I have sworn to protect you, no matter what. Your path is to end the blind worship of the old traditions and take power away from the old gods who wish to enslave all of mankind, so, if it helps to continue to think of me that way," he said as a sharp pain struck his heart, "then do so. I only tell you the truth because, as we are about to march into uncertain perils, there might come a time when I will have to rely on what powers I retained to keep you safe. I tell you, now, so that you will not have to learn later."

Meira's head was swimming. She was still very hungover from the heavy drink the night before, but that was minor in comparison to the swirling doubt and loss of self she faced with losing her faith. "What about searching for my God?" she asked. "Now that you know about all the gods and their wars, are you lying about that?"

"NO!" he blurted out, his hands outstretched as if to reach for a hug from her, which she did not return. "What I said was true. The prayers you've guided us through has opened something. I've never felt that presence before, so I have no doubt that there is something there and, possibly, something of a unique discovery to you. Perhaps, there is a God that is so old and so omnipresent that even we, the old gods, haven't noticed it. Even our origins are a bit of a mystery to us. I want to help you search for this God. I want to meet Him, myself."

He could see her processing, her eyes distant as the thoughts spun. It was a new and regular expression on her face that only grew in severity since they had left Dimasq. "Maybe," he approached an idea cautiously, "if you heard my story, it might be easier to trust me."

"But how can I trust your story?" she asked, breaking her gaze from her own contemplation to meet him. "I'm very confused and scared. What if you are the King of Lies? How can I trust anything out of your mouth?"

He smiled warmly and turned to hold her shoulders. The look she returned was as though he had betrayed her. Pain and fear riddled them both as he continued to reach out with love. "I didn't suggest that you hear it from me," he answered with hope. "We are traveling with someone who can tell you everything without my interference. He still doesn't know who I am, outside of Thomas, so you can ask him freely."

"Fine," she said, looking away from him and pulling her shoulders back as though his vary touch disgusted her. "I will talk with Quaden, but," her eyes, full of sadness, moved back to meet his, "until then, I need some time away from you."