SMILE | NCT Markhyuck

17

After what felt like hopeless hours of running around in search of Donghyuck, Mark finally found him.

He didn't know why he hadn't checked the school's rooftop sooner, but there was Donghyuck, leaning on the metal bars just like they always did whenever they sought solitude together. Relief washed over Mark's anxious heart.

"Donghyuck!" He wasted no time and called out to the younger boy. Between pants, he silently thanked the heavens that Donghyuck was safe.

"Mark?... What's wrong?" Donghyuck's shock was evident as he turned to face Mark. "Catch your breath first."

Mark snapped his head up, meeting Donghyuck's eyes. This was it. He had to properly convey everything he was feeling and apologize. "I...I'm sorry!"

"Eh?"

"I lost my temper again, and I was even mean to you," Mark hurriedly expressed as he walked closer to Donghyuck, gently placing his hand on the rail beside him. "When things were already tough for you at school..."

"I see," Donghyuck spoke softly, turning his head away and slipping his hands into his pockets. "So you saw it? Heh, how embarrassing," he chuckled, rubbing the nape of his neck.

"Donghyuck, why didn't you fight back? I'm sure you can-"

"It's useless," Donghyuck admitted. "No matter what we do, nothing will change. I might be able to stop what they're doing, but they won't stop loathing us."He breathed out, gazing out over the large field below. "Even if I jump from this rooftop and made the news, it'll eventually die out and people will just forget about it."

Mark could have sworn he felt his heart stop. "Donghyuck...Don't tell me you-"

"Nah, I won't," Donghyuck reassured dejectedly. "It's just bullying." 

A weight settled in the pit of Mark's stomach. He ached to ease his love's pain but knew he couldn't simply make it disappear. "Did you tell your parents about it?" he questioned but was met with silence. "Hyukie?"

"Ah..Um.." Donghyuck trailed off, trying to find the right words. " Heh, things aren't going well, are they?" he chuckled dryly to himself. "I didn't care what people said about me, as long as my family were on my side." He sighed, gripping the railing with both hands and stretching his body away from it in an attempt to relax.

"Did something happen?" Mark asked.

"Disgusting," Donghyuck spoke calmly with a smile on his face. "Is what she said as she cried. This was the first time I've seen my parents so sad, as if I was suffering from some fatal disease" he slowly brought his fingers near his mouth and laughed bitterly. "Heh, when I was hospitalized back then, she didn't even cry this much. But the situation was actually critical back then, funny isn't it?"

"It's not funny," Mark stated firmly.

"Aww, come on, why the long face?" Donghyuck finally looked at Mark. "Like I said, it's not a big deal."

"Cut it out," Mark exclaimed, feeling the blood rush to his head.

"Seriously Mark, you're too uptight-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mark screamed. He'd had enough of all this. "What the fuck are you smiling at? There's nothing funny about this!" Donghyuck stood in shock at Mark's outburst. "How is it not a big deal? being denied by your own parents... How can it not hurt?!" Mark could feel the light rain approaching around them. "You're always like this," he continued. " Putting on a business smile like nothing happened, even when things are obviously bad for you. What for?!" The rain started picking up around them. "Smiling isn't something you do for other people! Don't smile if you don't feel like it! Weren't you the one who told me that it's alright to cry? If you're sad just fucking cry it out to me! I'm your boyfriend goddammit!" 

For a moment, silence sat between the two boys, allowing the rain to engulf the empty space. "You think I like doing it?" Donghyuck spoke, barely audible over the sound of rain. "I hate to smile about this too but what choice do I have?!" He exclaimed, his hair wet from the rain as it clung to his face. "I tried my best to cope with everything, but everyone just won't fucking mind their business! Crying won't fucking change anything! So I can only smile through it!" Tears streamed down Donghyuck's face, mixing with the rain. "If I don't smile to trick myself into believing that everything's gonna be alright, how am I supposed to deal with all of this?" He spoke sadly, wiping the tears from his face, "I don't like the way I am, either, but I was born with this body... what can I do? why does it have to be me? It's not like... I wanted to be gay.." He spoke sadly, hesitating as he spoke the last part. "Are we really doing something so wrong?" He cried. 

Mark quickly pulled the sobbing boy into his arms, hugging him tightly. Donghyuck, who had masked his pain with a smile for so long, finally broke down. It was the first time Mark had seen him cry, but he was relieved that Donghyuck had finally let it all out.

Mark wasn't going to forget what everyone had done. However, he realized one thing: there was something far more important than taking revenge. He wasn't capable of changing the way people saw them, nor did he know how to do it. But one thing he did learn was that his hero was just an ordinary boy who had his vulnerable side too. And Mark must do everything he can to protect him.