Black wings, Snow, and Sand

Chapter 12: I was never meant to be a Guardian. (Victoria)

Jack stands frozen beside me as Pitch's voices echoes hauntingly. What have I done? Dear Lord what have I done?
Slight movement catches my eye under the pile of shells, I quickly reach to pick up a little cracked egg that's begging for life to end. It kicks and squirms, making the crack larger. I cup him in my hands gently.
" shhh...shhh... it's ok. You fought bravely." I say shakily, " Bunny would be proud of you. "
And just like that, it's legs fall, lifeless in my hands. This has gone too far. Somehow I... I have to stop him.
" We have to find them " Jack says to me lightly as if not to hurt me with his voice.
" North told me they were going to England. I'm not sure if they're still there, I know their definitely not here." I tell him.
I place the egg down gently next to his brothers and sisters. We fly off as fast as we can toward our friends.
"I know they're still alive." I yell over the winds.
" How do you know that?"
" Sandman let Pitch kill him. So that it would give us a push. You saw his face, he knew what was happening. It's really not that easy to kill a Guardian with as many believers as he had. That's why Pitch is trying to take them away."
We fly around searching, until I spot Tooth. We land just in time to see a child walk straight through Bunny.
Before I can go to him Tooth's voice stops me.
" Guys where have you been? Where's baby tooth?" She looks down at Jacks tooth box, " Jack what did you do?"
"I...I... Tooth we're-"
"Look who decided to show up!" Bunny cuts Jack off.
He approaches us with rage, I step in front of Jack before Bunny can kill him.
" It was my fault. Not his. I went into Pitch's lair, and he went looking for me, we hand no idea baby tooth was looking for us though...I'm
Sorry."
"What are you-"
I lift my hand and silence him. They all look at me with pained expressions. God I wish this would be easier.
" Do you know what happened while you were gone.... Do you bloody know what happened!!!? Easter was killed, is murdered, and is gone!! "
" I know." I say.
" NO YOU DONT! YOU HAVE KNOW IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT TAKEN FROM YOU! WE PROTECTED CHILDREN WHILE YOU WERE HIDING IN YOUR LITTLE FOREST!" Did he just say that to me? I feel Jack squeeze me hand, but it's no help.
" I don't know?? Haha. I DONT KNOW?? LISTEN HERE YOU IGNORANT FUR COVERED TWIT! DO YOU KNOW WHY I WENT INTO THAT GOD FORSAKEN PLACE?!?!"
I can't help myself all the anger I've been holding pours out of me. The skies above roar with thunder as I get closer to him.
"I HEARD MY FATHER CALLING ME!! THATS RIGHT MY FATHER!! THE ONE MAN IN MY LIFE THAT HAS ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME!! YOU KNOW WHO ENDED UP BLOODY BEING? THE ONE PERSON THAT I FIND!? THE ONE MAN I WANT TO MURDER RIGHT NOW BECAUSE GET THIS!! THE ONE AND ONLY THING I HAD LEFT TO REMIND ME OF THE LOVE MY FATHER HAD FOR ME WAS KILLED, IS MURDERED AND IS GONE!! YOU HAVE NEXT YEAR AND THE YEAR AFTER THAT TO FIX WHAT HAPPENED HERE TODAY BUT I HAVE NEVER!!"
Tears of anger flow down through my eyes and down from the sky. I've already let go of Jack's hand by now, I fly up to meet Bunny's now shocked face. My voice feels hoarse, but there is no way I'm done.
" I'm sorry, I really am, for what's happened here today, but I will never let anyone tell me that I don't know what Hell is like. All this that has happened to you. Try having it in a never ending loop. Then, come find me."
I fly off into the grey sky, thinking I'm alone until I hear Jack calling behind me. I turn around. Please forgive me for this darling.
" Like I said before I... I'm a falling rock zone. Don't follow me, Jack. I don't...." I have to say something to make him leave... A lump forms in my throat. I care about you that's why I'm doing this.
" I don't....care for... You. I only said..that to...throw Pitch off."
I turn quickly and fly as fast as can so that I can't see his face. When I know I'm far enough I land not so gracefully near my home, and let all my emotions lose. Burying my face between my arms. I'm not what they want me to be. I never was, and never will be.
"I was never meant to be a Guardian..."
I look up in the direction were The Man in the Moon would be at night,
" did you hear me?? I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE A GUARDIAN!"

I need to stop this all. All that Pitch is doing. I know what I have to do...

I have to surrender.