August

day eleven | saying us

With one of her elbows over the breakfast table and her face resting on her hand, Camila smiles and sighs while touching the mixed eggs on her plate using her fork. No matter what she does, she can’t stop the memories of what happened the day before from invading her mind. She hears Carlos clearing his throat next to her and feels him kicking her under the table, finally getting her attention. Looking up from her plate and shifting her body on the chair, she realizes her father had asked her a question and everyone was waiting to hear her answer.

 “ Sorry.” She says quietly. “ What did you ask, Papi?”

 “ I said some of the employees mentioned they saw you playing the piano again.” Her father says before taking a sip from his coffee.

 “ Yeah.” She says slowly, glancing at her brother before looking at her father again. “ I wanted to try again. It’s nothing really.”

 She’s not sure her father would be happy with her trying to play again. Her mother did it professionally and it’s no secret to anyone in the family he wasn’t very supportive of it, in fact she remembers hearing them argue a lot about her career when she was little. She also definitely didn’t need him to know Shawn was the one teaching her. He would be mad for sure knowing she was spending time with a boy, even if it was just because of the classes, which was not the case at all.

 “ So you wouldn’t mind if I decided to sell it, right?” He asks as his eyes go back to the newspaper in his hands. It was like he didn’t even care about what she thought, he was just being polite enough and letting her know he would do it anyway.

 “ What?” She asks in shock, her voice louder than she intended. “ You can’t do that!”

 “ Why not?” His voice is still calm, clearly not seeing what that piano means to her.

 “ Because it belonged to mom.” She says, wishing he could see that was enough reason.

 “ And she’s not here to play it anymore.” His words make her angry. How can he not see that piano is a part of her Camila needs around?

 “ Please, don’t do that.” She insists, but he doesn’t even look at her. “ You can’t get rid of something that meant so much to her. I need it. It makes me feel closer to her.”

 “ I’ll think about it.” He says, finally glancing at her before she stands up and excuses herself from the table.

 She walks down the hallway trying to take a deep breath and forget what her father is doing. Walking to the stairs, she lets her mind go back to Shawn and how happy she was a few minutes ago. Before she can decide where she’s going, she realizes she unintentionally made her way to Shawn’s floor, so she lifts her hand and knocks at the door of the room he’s sharing with Luke.

 “ Hey, are you okay?” Shawn’s voice comes from behind her, making her turn around and place a hand over her heart.

 “ Hi.” She says walking to him and kissing his lips. “ You scared me.” She adds laughing.

 “ Sorry. I wanted to text you, but realized I left my phone up here.”

 She watches as he opens the door and then they both walk in. He reaches for his phone on the corner of the couch and unplugs it from the charger as she lays down on his bed and looks up at the ceiling.

 “ You didn’t answer my question.” He says, walking to her and laying down on the mattress next to her, his hand on her cheek as he looks at her face. “ Are you okay?”

 “ Yes.” She says turning her body so she’s facing him.

 “ Are you sure? You don’t sound okay.” He says carefully.

 “ It’s nothing. Just some stuff on my mind.” She replies, reaching for his face and trying to fix a curl that’s falling over his eyes.

 “ Is this about what happened yesterday?” Shawn asks quietly. “ Was that too much too soon?”

 “ What? No, of course not.” She says quickly, placing a kiss on his lips. “ I don’t regret it, if that’s what you’re thinking. I loved it.” She adds shyly, wanting to tell him she actually wants more now that she had a snippet of it.

 “ Then what’s bothering you?” He asks with a smile as his fingers start drawing patterns on the skin between her shorts and the hem on her shirt.

 “ My father.” She says, resting her back against the mattress again and looking up at the ceiling. “ He wants to get rid of my mother’s piano. No matter what I say, he can’t see how much it means to me to have that piece of her around. I never said this out loud, but it makes me angry that he seems so nonchalant when the subject is her. Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t even miss her.”

 “ Maybe he just doesn’t know how to talk about it, but I’m sure he misses her.” Shawn says, pulling her for a hug and trying to comfort her. “ People deal with loss in different ways. Maybe that’s just his way of missing her.”

 “ Now you’re making me feel guilty about being angry at him.” She says in a small laugh with her face against his chest.

 “ Sorry. That’s not what I meant.” He says holding her tighter.

 “ Can we talk about something else, please?” She says against his shirt.

 “ Sure.” He places a kiss on the side of her head. “ I actually wanted to ask you something.”

 “ What?” She pulls away and looks up at him curiously.

 “ I… humm…” He nervously looks away from her eyes before taking a deep breath and focusing on her again. “ I wanted to know if you want to go out with me officially… I know we met like ten days ago, but I really like you, Camila.”

 “ You mean like… be your girlfriend?” She asks with hesitation.

 “ Yes.” That one little word makes her heart flip inside her chest. She nods her head eagerly before straddling him on the bed and giving him a kiss.

 “ I like you too, Shawn.” She smiles against his lips and rests her forehead against his as his hands hold her waist. “ I really do.”