Short stories

Healing for the broken

Healing for the broken

    "Do you really not see? Are you so desperate for an answer that you're blinded by reality? Does it matter what I say, what my reasoning was, or why we did what we did? Huh? None of that matters! You know why? Because even if what I say is exactly what you want to hear, what you need to hear, you'll never get those nine years back."
    His eyes watered, throat hoarse and lungs set ablaze as he continued,
    "I'll never get those nine years back. After tonight, we'll move on with our lives. And sure, the pain will lessen with time, but we'll both still have scars."
    His feet grew heavy as he stepped closer, the tense space between the two shrinking.
    "in the future, we'll walk down the street and something will catch our eye that reminds us of it. Or while talking with an old friend we'll accidentally say something that brings those memories rushing back again." His head fell in defeat.
    "Don't you see? It doesn't matter 'why' or 'what for'. Neither answers will give us back those nine years we spent wondering and hurting and hating each other. So there's no point anyway."
    Casiano stood in front of him, mouth agape and eyes wide. He was trying to process all of what Trance has just said.
    It doesn't matter.
    It doesn't matter...
    "It doesn't matter!?" He fumed, jolting Trance. "Of course it matters, you fool! I don't care if we'll never get those nine years back! If I can forgive you tonight, then that means we'll have forever to make up for what we've missed." Cassians' eyes softened as he finally took a step towards the other.
    "I'd finally have my best friend back. I'd have my other half again. I'd have you." His hand reached out, ready to cup Trances face. But it fell short as Trance took a step back, once again creating a rift between the two.
    "You can't do that." Trances' eyes were cold where Cassians' were soft. His hands were balled into fists where Cassians' were open and outstretched in a welcoming motion. And Trances' voice was bitter where Cassians' was broken.
    "You can't have me back! I was never yours to keep! I don't belong to you or anyone! So don't do that, Cass. Just... just don't."
    Trance turned his back. On Cassian, on the conversation, on the possible future that could have had both himself and Cassian in it, together. But worse of all, he turned his back on the only person he'd ever loved.
    And that should have crushed him. Taking those first few steps, getting farther and farther away. But it didn't. Not until he felt two arms embrace him from behind. Not until he was engulfed by Cassians' cigarette and leather scent. Not until he felt Cassian breathe him in. And not until he felt Cassians' tears soak through the thin fabric of his shirt. That's when he finally broke.
    "I loved you. Hell, I still do. I hate myself for it everyday, but I still love you. Even if it's wrong or disgusting, Cass. I can't help it."
    Cassians' breath caught, his lungs filled with the scent of vanilla and honey that rolled off Trance in waves.
    Those words had been all he'd wanted to hear for so long. They'd been what he was waiting for for the last nine years. For the past nine years he'd been living a lie. Waking up and playing pretend. Now, in this moment, with Trance standing in front of him and in hearing those words, he didn't want to live a lie any longer.
    "You're such a fool. Just like I remember." A smile crept across Cassians' face as he spoke.
    "I've always loved you, Tra..."

                    The end
JKJK<3 .....there will be more to this one. This SS was self inspired by a Kdrama I'm watching called My Strange Hero. I was watching it and was hit with the realization that it didn't matter what she said to him, neither of them would get those nine years of heartache and pain back. It was time wasted that couldn't be regained. And so, healing for the broken was born