«|Self Esteem|» //Prinxiety\\

9.) Listening

Warnings: crying, angry Patton, arguing, everything is about to go downhill, just, be prepared.

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//Patton's POV//

I sighed as I walked up the stairs with a bowl of stroganoff for Roman. I always brought him dinner, even if he never ate it.

Virgil always encouraged me to never give up on him, and so I didn't. Speaking of which, I actually haven't seen Virgil in like, what, three days? Honestly I think this whole this has just been too much for him, so I get it. Logan said he saw him earlier today so at least I know he's alright.

I shook the thoughts away as I approached Roman's door, expecting to pick up a completely full plate of food, but today when I came to replace his plate, it was empty, which almost made my cry. He had eaten something! He wasn't starving!! He was alright!! Thank god...

I replaced the plates with watery eyes and a large smile until stopping dead in my tracks.

Did I hear... talking?

Was Roman talking to someone?

Who is he talking two?

Is that even Roman talking?

No, that's definitely Roman....

I was stood just starring at the door as I listened to a seemingly one sided conversation.

Wait... was Roman really just talking too himself...?

Has he already started going insane?!

No Patton, that's stupid, Roman isn't going... crazy..

I mean... he's been in there for a few weeks now...

Stop that Patton! He's not going crazy!!

He's probably just lonely...

Oh my god!! That's so sad!

I didn't even think of that!!

He must be so lonely!!

Oh dear, poor kiddo-

I felt tears welling up in my eyes before I heard a voice behind me, cutting me from my thoughts.

"Patton...? Are you ok...?"

I visibly jumped, turning around to see Janus standing there with a slightly worried expression. I quickly wiped my eyes and put up a smile.

"Oh yeah! I'm alright, sorry, just.... lost in thought I guess..."

I said softly as I glanced to the side letting my smile falter slightly. When I looked back over at Janus he had his arms crossed with an expression that I could only describe as 'you're kidding right?' which made me shrink into myself a bit, fiddling with the sleeves on my cardigan.

"Ok so maybe I'm not 'alright' but I will be... at least Roman is eating again!! He finished he pasta from last night!!"

I said hopefully, to try and bring up the mood, well, to try and bring up my mood, I'm sure Janus is fine. But when I looked at his face I saw an expression of.. guilt maybe? No, it was more like a kind of contemplation mixed with a hint of worry...

"Is there something you need to tell me...?"

I asked sternly but I still had a bit of nervousness in my voice that I think he picked up on, but if he did, he said nothing about it and instead just looked around to check if anyone was watching us.

"We can't talk here, I can't risk him finding out I'm telling you this..."

Janus said taking my hand and dragging me into his own room.

"Who is this 'him'?"

I asked as he shut the door behind him with a soft sigh.

"...lets just say I don't think Roman was the one who ate the pasta.... Virgil asked me not to say anything but... he's been in Roman's room. He hasn't been in his own room in at least two days now, maybe more, he's been with Roman..."

My face lit up for a second before falling once more.

"...and he didn't tell me...?"

I asked slowly as I looked at Janus.

"But he told you..?!"

I ask looking genuinely hurt. Janus looked a bit saddened by my reaction and gently reached over to me placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No, Patton I-"

My once sad expression turned into a slight scowl as tears began to build up in my eyes. I quickly shrugged his hand off my shoulder and looked at him.

"Why, why would he tell you and not me?!"

I said with a burning fire in my voice causing Janus to stumble back a bit at my harshness.

"I have been working so hard to try and get Roman to eat, and stay hydrated, and come out of his room while all you've done is sit here and make things worse!! I have been staying up late, loosing sleep, worrying if Roman is even still alive and he has been in Roman's room this whole time?!? Why wouldn't he tell me?! All I want to do is help and he's shutting me out now too?!?"

I yelled as tears began to stream down my face, unable to to keep them in any longer. Janus was silent for a few moments before trying to reach out to me once more.

"Patton I do not think that was his inten-"

I quickly moved away from his hand and squinted at him, choking back sobs as I began to speak once more.

"I don't need your pity, Janus!! If he wants to deal with this all on his own, if he wants to shut me out just like everyone else, then let him!! I can't do this anymore, I'm done!!"

I yelled before storming out of Janus' room, slamming the door behind me. I quickly slipped into my own room, closing the door and leaning up against it, sliding down to the floor, hugging my knees.

And that's when I broke...

I started sobbing, I couldn't take it anymore. If the two people I care about the most want to cut me out of their lives, then so be it...

My sobbing continued, my walls slowly becoming a muted grayish blue, my wallpaper pealing and cracking ever so slightly as I broke down.

All I wanted is for things to back to they way that they where....

But now things are just getting worse....

Word count: 1005