Richtofen x Reader

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Song: Like you do by Joji- Album Nectar
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Richtofen laid in bed along side Y/n, sometimes when the voices and the bad memories just came and poked at his brain he mostly looked and admired her beauty.

'Lately, I can't help but think
That our roads might take us down different phases'

At first Richtofen, wanted to hate and ignore you. You always gave him a funny feeling deep down and it felt warm but it was new. It was a nice feeling, somewhat uncomfortable and just something he always wanted to be around.

Now he lays thinking bad things, how you're going to leave him and in the worst way possible. The tears stung the corner of his eyes and it was warm, it was uncomfortable.

The first few tears being red, it bothered him a lot. If his father wouldn't have done what he did, Ed would have never been like this. He hated himself and he always made sure to tell himself that, like a reminder that he was nothing and just some crazy German guy. Soon his red vision was cleared with clean white tears. He wanted to touch you, hold you.

He couldn't, he didn't want to. Hell, he couldn't even wipe his tears with his jacket or something that he uses everyday, cause the blood would stay there. He missed the warmth of your body and the wave of relief as you held him. He missed your soft touch on his cheek and the way you always smiled at him. He missed your lips against his when he felt lonely.

As tempting as it was, he just couldn't bring himself to it, it always hurt. He felt like one wrong move and you'll vanish, your features danced around in his mind and he remembered when you always smiled and laughed along side him. But he just couldn't hold you, even though he desperately needed to be.

'If you ever go, all the songs that we like
Will sound like bittersweet lullabies'

His mind played tricks on him, you'd come and say hurtful things, things he knew was true. You always threatened to leave him, alone in the dark when he needed someone to love the most. The songs he sang to you in German was a lullaby and always calmed him when he was stressed or started to hyperventilate. It calmed him the way your voice called out to him.

The thought of you leaving made his heart ache and more tears came. Why did his head hate him so much? Why did he kill those people? He didn't mean too, he was scared and looking for comfort in someone. Something always took over and in the end he was left with red hands, dangerous tools on side of a body, or just his hands and a body in front of him.

Everyone left as soon as they heard what was wrong with him, they shut him out and forgot all about him. Like he didn't exist. His sister never asked about him nor visited him. His mom acted like she never had a son and his father treated him like an enemy. He was the bad guy when he was a victim.

'Lost in the blue'

He often found himself wondering his thoughts and found nothing about love, all he ever found was sadness and sorrow. Blue. His favorite colour, or what use to be.

'They don't love me like you do'

You told him that you loved him for who he was, love was different with you. You came and the Blue left, it seemed to just pick up the thoughts and left. Like it knew it was no match for you.

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