Mending a Psycho's Heart

Chapter Five

Khayal's POV

The door made a cringy sound even with the effort I made to silently close it. I let out a strained huff and winced slumping on the couch.

"Gosh."

What do we call this? Midlife crisis? Everything was against me. My whole body throbbed. I can't think straight, not in this state of mind. What do I do? The door let out another cringy noice causing me to snap at the direction. There, was a tired Haffy that had a scowl on her face. Her greeting sounded more like a grunt.

On a normal day, I would have probed her to tell what's wrong but my mouth was pinch together. All I could think of is a possible way out from this mess.

"You okay? You seemed... Stressed."
"Than usual." She shook me out of my thought.

"Huh?"

"Were you even listening?"

"Uh.. What were you saying again?"

"Never mind. What is wrong with you? Is everything all right?"

"No!" I couldn't even lie. I wanted to tell her badly but I was worried she would be worried if I do.

"Tell me. What's the matter?"

I desperately searched for a lie to tell but damn, my head wasn't giving me anything. I sighed. It was a "I give up" kind of sigh. If truly I want a solution, she needs to know and figure out together what our next move will be.

"We are being evicted." I said with a grim face. I clearly swallowed the lump in my throat fearing not to burst up my throat. My lip twitched and I watch her eyes fill up. This was what I was trying to avoid. I wished I  could have settled it without getting her involved.

"Oh!" She managed to say after a long silence. She blinked away her tears and I looked away. I am such a terrible big sis. I can't even afford a decent life for the both of us. It's unfair that she always had to put up with managing and struggles after our parents passed away.

"I am thinking we relocate."

"Of course."

"I mean from here, from Lagos."

"Wait, what did you say? Relocate to another state?? Khayal, we can't do that, we grew up here. We were born here. Do we have anyone in other states?" She yelled, now a tear slowly making it way down her rosy cheek.

"Hafy" I whimpered.

"Don't call my name. I am sick and tired of this sickly life! I am sick of it. It's always a struggle growing up, surviving. I go out there and work my ass out and all you do is sit at home and type away on your laptop. When I ask you to go for high paying jobs, you chew my ear off with your stupid blogs and how you plan to be a successful blogger one day!"

The big lump came around, this time bigger and there was a persistent pain in my throat. I quiver at her harsh tone and looked at her with pleading eyes but she didn't stop there.

"Stop stuffing your face with food, stop being so lazy and own up to your shit. Quit wasting your time on what will never work. The earlier you stop fantasizing on ridiculous things, the better and easier things get." She finally let out a big huff and snatched her bag from the couch and stormed off right after.

This isn't fair. The tears finally made their way out and I fell back, sinking into the couch, just there, letting out the tears.

I try not to think of the words she said to me while I just cry, thinking about my life struggles.

I sniffled and grabbed a toilet paper from the stool and dabbed my wet, puffy face. Maybe I should just forget blogging and focus on finding jobs with high monetary value. There's no point indulging in self pity. It only makes me more miserable. I badly wanted to scream in my head and asked where I went wrong to deserve that awful outburst from Hafy but this definitely isn't the time.

"I am going job hunting." I went through my CV and brushed up some things. After satisfied with my credentials, I went to check on Hafy if she fancied dinner but she was already asleep on her beanbag. I stared at her for a moment wondering if she's comfortable in that posture and contemplating whether to wake her or not.

No, that's a terrible idea. Just grab a blanket and cover her up. I went back to the kitchen and had a little amount of granola with yoghurt but my ulcer keeps in with full force. I can't bear the twinge especially when its that time of the month.

I rushed my supper and got to my room. Let's get to work, shall we?

I need to pay up the rent in three days time or else we get fully evicted.  Hafy is yet to receive her monthly salary of #150,000. It's just the beginning of a new month and most of previous month's it went down to last year's rent balance and to the other bills. I have already exhausted the money I got from writing blog posts for a small company. It was a freelance and the contract ended two weeks ago.

Opening my Linked In account, I made a few changes on my profile and searched for jobs. I applied for three, first and second were content writing jobs while the third was a ghostwriting job.

I could definitely do better but I had a rethink to just go for anything remote and decent. The pay isn't so bad either.

I checked the time and it was past 11. Got to hit the hay. I totally forgot what happened as I lay happily and comfortably on my bed and let sleep gently elude me.

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