As Long As You Care: A Ruel Novel

Unsaid

Ruel

I'm going to the party alone. I feel so bad about how I blew up at (your name). It's not like she meant to invade my privacy and embarrass me in front of the whole school. I've kind of ruined my chances to be with her too many times now, but I'll keep trying no matter how long it takes. I'm hoping to see her at the party to apologize and maybe just go back to the way things were. I know it's far-fetched, but you can't make me stop hoping that something good can come from this. I sprayed my most expensive cologne and gelled every strand of my hair until I finally drove to the party. I walked through the noisy crowd looking all around me to find (your name), what if she's not even here? What if I wasted all that hair gel for nothing? Then I see two people emerge from the front door. (Your name) looks so beautiful in a pink dress. I try to catch her gaze but then I notice the person standing next to her. It's Xander.

You

I had to practically force myself out the door to go to the party with Xander. It's not that he's not attractive it's just he's so rude and immature. I honestly don't see how him and Ruel were ever friends. NO! I promised myself that I wouldn't think about Ruel. I'm over him, I'm through. Then I catch his eye in the crowd. Is it just me or does he look... jealous? He's turning a shade of red and his eyebrows are scrunched together. Oh, this is good, maybe my night with Xander won't be as bad as I thought it would be. I go out on the floor to dance with Xander. Ruel is watching us, there's practically steam coming from his ears. Serves him right for exploding at me in the hallway. I look back over at him and I see he's dancing with Brooklyn now. Oh no. It won't work on me. I won't get jealous he can't make me care. She's laughing at something he said. What's so funny, why is she laughing, is it me? I try to focus on Xander, but the sound of their laughter is so distracting. Then I do something I know I'll regret. I put my hands behind Xanders head and kiss him. Ruel stopped dancing he looks so furious. I run out to the porch where Ruel and I first kissed. Mostly because I'm frustrated, partly because I need to wash my mouth. Ruel appears running behind me. This can't be good.

Ruel

My face is on fire as I run out to the porch after (your name). I yell, "Why'd you have to do that? Why are you always trying to make me angry? It's like everything you do is trying to break us apart." "Us? We were never together since you started ignoring me and got mad at me for no reason." "You're the one who was snooping around in my stuff. Now you kissed my best friend. What is your problem with me?" "I don't even understand why you're upset I know why had our fight earlier but it's not a big deal I'm over it." She knows why I'm angry, she did this on purpose to make me jealous. It's like there's an invisible thing between us that we can't talk about, but we don't even know what it is. Somehow it just keeps us together, but it also keeps us apart. We never talk about it, but we both know it's there. Could it be love? I don't know. All I know is that I'm through with her, with us. "Don't talk to me ever again!" I shout over the sound of the blasting music. "I don't know where to start. Cause now there's nothing left to say. You put your hand on my heart, then you pushed me away. Then you tell me everything is fine, but you don't have anywhere to hide, look me in the eyes. I'm asking you how we gonna act like nothing's wrong. All these words left unsaid hanging over my head."