I'm fine (Min Yoongi ff)

Chapter three

He kept saying her "hi", but she reacted the same every day.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he shouldn't have done anything towards her. Every time he spoke to her, her already pale face literally turned white, and her eyes widened as if they were about to pop out of her sockets. She was afraid of him. Yoongi could not describe the emotion on her face with any other word. It was just fear.

She looked really weird sitting alone in the hallways in these grown-up clothes and with the face of a lost child. What was she so afraid of? Yoongi knew that she didn't get along well with the boys in the class but… it was not normal behavior. The fact that she had such arms was not normal either. This strange girl must have taken it all personally more than anyone expected.

He was so lost. Should he tell someone about it? It was absolutely none of his business, so it would be best if he hadn't interfered with it, but on the other hand… if no one else knew about it, then he might have been the only option for saving her. What if she doesn't tell anyone about it, and one day she just won't come to school like she did that Friday? He didn't want to have her on his conscience.

At home, his mom immediately noticed a change in his behavior. One day, while Jitae was busy playing in her room, mom closed the kitchen door and sat down at the table. Yoongi immediately sensed the change of mood.

"What?" he asked anxiously "Why are you closing the door?"

"I want to talk to you" mom said gently "You've been acting differently lately"

"How?" he tried to pretend that he's relaxed and he relaxed so much that he cut his finger with the knife he was using to peel potatoes with. He bit his lip angrily and pressed the wound to his mouth.

"You are nervous, even now" mom remarked "Tell me what's going on, Yoongi" she asked him.

Yoongi let out a sigh.

"It's about a girl" he confessed, but seeing his mom's raised eyebrows he shook his head "No, not like that"

"So like what?"

For a moment he seriously considered telling his mom about this whole situation. On the one hand, he really wanted to shed that burden, but on the other, it wasn't even his business, let alone his mom. Although it bothered him from within, he decided to keep this information to himself.

"I can't tell you" he looked at her apologetically, sucking the wound on his finger "It's kind of… private"

"But I can see that it's bothering you" mom said in a worried tone. Yoongi didn't answer that, only confirming her fears "I'm afraid that you could again ..."

"No, mom" he shook his head "I promised you. I don't get into any fights anymore"

"I know" she nodded slowly "But I can see you've been having trouble calming down lately. I'd rather not wait until you can't take it and reach for last resort"

Yoongi sighed heavily. It was hard to blame mom for reacting like that. About two years ago, when Yoongi was 14 years old, he was going through a very hard time in his life. It was after father left them. Yoongi could not cope with it. Everything was pissing him off then, and he was starting to lose control of himself. At first it was hitting the table with his hand or tearing notebook pages when something went wrong, but over the time it turned into something much more serious. Yoongi started getting into fights with the boys from the neighborhood. He realized it was helping him to calm down. Whenever he fought with a guy, he imagined it was his father, and hitting him gave him extraordinary satisfaction.

But that was until he hit the wrong boy. After he messed up with the king of the estate, he ended up in the hospital with four broken ribs, arms practically twisted from his joints, and a skull trauma. His mom almost had a heart attack when she found out about it.

As soon as he left the hospital, she enrolled him to the psychotherapist, terrified that her child had problems with aggression, and she didn't notice anything. Yoongi did not agree with her. He had no problems with aggression or self-control - he would never ever raise his hand against her or Jitae or any other girl. He also did not infuse any of his friends, only those people who really pissed him off.

However he had to admit that the psychotherapist helped him a lot. Thanks to her, he stopped blaming others for his father's mistakes and signed up for boxing. When he really felt like he was not holding up, he would hit the punching bag, not another person.

It all seemed very distant to Yoongi and have nothing to do with the present, but mom had a different opinion. It was enough that Yoongi had a worse mood for a few days and she already started to panick.

"You want to send me to her again?" he sighed, going back to peeling potatoes.

"Only once" she assured him "You don't have to go regularly since you don't like it, but at least once in a while. You haven't gone to her for a long time anyway. Please. I will be calmer thanks to this"

"Okay" he succumbed immediately "As you like, mom"

"Maybe you'll dare to tell her about this problem with the girl which gives you no peace" suggested mom "After all, she doesn't know you anyway"

"She has known me for two years, she knows me better than half of my friends" Yoongi rolled his eyes "But I'll think about it"

A few days later, he and his mom went to see a psychotherapist. He sat in the waiting room, staring at the yellow walls where the paint was peeling off, counting down the minutes. He didn't like being in this place. He must have recalled and told too many unpleasant memories here. Most of them were related to his father. When he got here, he had insisted that he hated him, but now he knew it wasn't true. He loved him, and that was why he was so hurt by his departure. He was angry with him and didn't think he would ever be able to forgive him, but he loved him nonetheless. Even if father didn't love him back anymore.

He thought a lot about whether to tell the psychotherapist about Ani. He decided that he would tell her about the scarred girl, but would not reveal Ani's identity, just in case. But he still wasn't sure if he would actually do it. Talking about Ani's scars seemed to him like discovering some of her secrets. He did not feel too comfortable with the fact that he would reveal Ani's problems to his psychotherapist. Especially since he was probably responsible for some of the scars.

He looked up when he heard the sound of the door opening. He looked at the person leaving the psychotherapist's office and literally froze as he saw that pale face framed by long blonde hair. He would know that color anywhere. Most of the people he knew had black hair. There were also those who had brighter ones, but never so much. Ani's hair was almost the same shade as her skin.

She had a sad expression on her face and blue bags under her eyes that were red, probably from crying. Yoongi was unable to move. He stared at her blankly.

She didn't notice him at first. She waited a moment before a middle-aged woman stepped out of the room. She smiled encouragingly at her as soon as she left the office. Ani turned to see Yoongi. She flinched slightly and gazed him carefully, then turned back to the woman. She went to the other side, as if she wanted to hide from Yoongi's gaze this way, and passed him, chasing the woman. She didn't look at him anymore.

Yoongi was too surprised to focus on his own visit. He told the psychotherapist about how he was doing at school lately and what was going on at home, but he never mentioned Ani. Even though he was tempted to ask why she had come here, he knew it was pointless, because the psychotherapist would never tell him such information. His mind was still wandering towards her. He wondered who was the woman Ani had come with. The most obvious answer would be that she came here with her mother, like him, but... this woman was undoubtedly Asian with yellow skin and slanted eyes, and Ani was definitely not Asian.

He kept telling himself that he shouldn't jump to conclusions, because he didn't even know if this woman was Ani's mother, and even if she was, he didn't know what nationality her dad was. However, he couldn't get the thought that came to him almost immediately after he saw how much Ani was different from this woman.

What if Ani was adopted?

There could be a much bigger story behind the scars on her hands.