chapter twelve

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1996
December 21
Alora Slater POV

We dropped our things in the empty corridor where everyone else had put theirs and headed back for the common room. The train left in a few hours and I did not want to be on it. Neither Pansy nor Daphne had said anything to me about going home today, I had a feeling they were a little scared to. It was nine in the morning, there wasn't much to do other than walk around aimlessly.

"Please don't freak out on me, but why are you going home? Did something happen?" Daphne asked as we rounded the corner, walking towards the door to the courtyard.

"Um, Adrian asked me to come."

"He did? Is it because of your mother?"

"I'm not sure, he didn't say. Just that he wants me to come home this year."

"Didn't you two get into a fight over the summer though?" Pansy asked.

"Yeah, but he wouldn't ask me to come if it weren't important... so I'm going."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

I'd rather be talking about anything than this. There was an awful, sick feeling in my stomach all night and all morning. I had tried to ignore it, but it felt like I could vomit at any moment.

"I'm going to head to the bathroom, I'll find you guys."

Before they could say anything, I turned around and darted down the hallway the opposite way. I could feel them watching me walk away, it only went away once I turned the corner. The door to the bathroom flew open as I stormed through it and into the first stall. I collapsed on to the floor and held my hair off of my neck, then threw up into the toilet bowl.

The floor was cool, it helped me recover. I took a few deep breaths before sticking my head back into the toilet and throwing up again. I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet, then stood hunched over the sink in front of the mirror. I had tried incredibly hard not to cry about this, but I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. My face was blotchy as I rinsed my mouth, I was a mess.

The cold water I had splashed over my face helped a little. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying to regain composure before someone else came in here and saw me like this. I slumped down against the wall and covered my eyes, the light in here was quite bright and it only made my head pound more.

After a few minutes I stood up and dusted myself off. My hair didn't look excellent, but after adjusting the curls slightly, it looked significantly better. The blotchiness finally went away and I looked normal again. I opened the door and was met by Pansy grabbing me hand pulling me down the hallway towards the main doors.

"It's about time, you've been in there for almost two hours! Daphne and I were just coming to grab you, we need to go!"

"Two hours? It was like ten minutes."

"It's ten to eleven, the carriages are boarding."

I could barely register what they were saying at we burst through the front doors and down to the carriages. We saw Blaise and the others sitting in one and we got our own.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling well."

"Are you nervous? About seeing your family?"

"Of course I am, I never go home knowing what to expect."

"It'll be alright, and it's only for two weeks. Everything will be back to normal after that."

Only that wasn't true. Nothing would be normal after the break. I would never be able to wear short sleeved shirts again, I could never go swimming. Those were only minor differences, obviously, but they still mattered. I wasn't even sure about what I would have to do, or why He even wanted me for that matter. I wasn't any more special than Pansy or Daphne, or even the boys.
-
Draco had come home for the holidays this year too, so all seven of us sat in the train, silently. I felt as though even opening my mouth would make me sick again. I tried to focus on breathing, and what possible good could come from this, that list was pathetically short. Not everything would change, so I guess that was a plus. I would still be me, I would still have school, and hopefully I would still have my friends.
-
The train ride was the shortest it's ever been, it felt like we reached the station in only a couple of hours opposed to the entire day. The second I stepped off on to the platform, I didn't have a chance. A little voice in the back of my head told me to stay on the train and go wherever it takes me, just run away. If only it were that simple.

My legs trembled as they stepped down the stairs and on to the ground, my knees could give out at any moment. I carefully walked to get my things, the look of terror slowly taking over my face. My lungs felt like they were breathing in water instead of air, it hurt so bad to breathe. I found my trunk and owl and walked over to where the families were standing. Adrian noticed me and his eyes lit up, he waved me over.

I didn't say anything to him, just grabbed his arm and we apparated out of the station and into our living room. There wasn't a chance for me to storm off to my room before everything went black.

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