chapter forty eight

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Draco Malfoy POV

My heart ached when she uttered those two little words. "We're over." She couldn't be serious, could she? She was breaking up with me because she didn't think I cared for her? I loved her! I could never be afraid of her, I was afraid for her. There's a big difference. Sure, I definitely was scared of what she was capable of, but I wasn't scared of Alora herself.

"You don't mean that," I said softly.

"Since you don't have the balls to walk away, I will."

"You're drunk."

"And yet the alcohol is the one telling the truth, not you."

"I'm not scared of you. I could never be scared of you."

"Why do you refuse to stop?"

"Because I love you!" I accidentally blurted out.

Her eyes widened slightly and she froze while turning to walk away. I could not have picked a worse time to say that. It was about time though, neither of us had said it and it's been four months. I did love her, that was true, but she probably thought I was just saying it to make her stop walking away.

"Really?" She said angrily.

I could see the rage in her eyes as she processed what I had just said. She threw the bottle that was in her hand at me, but I ducked quickly and it smashed into the wall behind me. She was mad, but I couldn't leave her because she wasn't well. I just had to get her some help. This wasn't the Alora I fell in love with, but I still loved her, even if she didn't love herself.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"We had four months together, and you said it the second we break up?!"

"I didn't mean to, I swear."

"Well, you're so full of shit I doubt that. I doubt you meant it too. What, you're just trying to get me to stay? You want to yell some more?

"Why are you being such a bitch?"

"Calling me a bitch after telling me you love me? Now who's the mad one?"

"I never said you were mad."

"Multiple times, you did. All of those times you offered to get me help, or to talk about what was going on in my head, even the looks of disgust... those all called me mad."

"I'm just worried about you."

"I've told you a million times that you don't need to be."

"But that doesn't mean that I won't worry. Watching you sit back and transform into someone else is agonizing to watch."

"You've said that."

"So why aren't you looking at yourself now versus yourself at the begging of summer even? You're so different in only half a year, it's not healthy."

"People grow."

"You aren't growing, you're adapting. Adapting in a bad way."

   She opened her mouth to snap at me again but no words came out. A single tear trickled down her face and fell on to her shirt. She looked as though she hadn't slept in months, the bags under her eyes were much more noticeable than usual. Her face was pale and her eyes were shallow, she looked skinnier too. She hadn't been eating again. She took a deep breath before being able to speak again.

   "Draco, please just stay away."

   As much as I wanted to do whatever she wanted, I couldn't leave her here. I walked around to the other side of the sofa which caused her to roll her eyes and try to push me away, but I pulled her into a tight hug. After a minute or so, she broke.

   I felt her arms wrap around me as she buried her face in the curve of my shoulder and sobbed. We collapsed on to the sofa and I held her shaking body as she cried. I felt so bad for her, nobody deserved to be going through something like this alone. I just wished she could accept that she didn't have to, and that I would always be there for her.

   "I was trying to feel something," she whispered.

   "I know."

   "I spent every day in a trance, it felt like I was constantly dying. These stupid and awful outings with the Death Eaters were exciting and fresh... and they gave me so much adrenaline that I felt alive for the first time in a month."

   "Nobody blames you, for any of this. I just want to help you."

   "I'm sorry I lied and didn't tell you where I was going. I was trying to avoid... this."

   "Why, though?"

   "We were in a good place and I didn't want to ruin that with my... insanity."

   "You're not insane."

   "Look at me."

   "I see a girl who's been through more than one ever should, and survived."

   She wiped the remaining tears away and laid back on my chest and listened to my breathing. I could feel her slowly stop trembling and calm herself down. I think she would be okay with some time and effort, she just had to want to be. A lot of time passed and both of us were nearly asleep when I heard her small voice utter four words that I wasn't sure she meant for me to hear right then.

   "I love you too."

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