chapter thirty

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Alora Slater POV

"There you are!"

Pansy pulled me into a hug the second the door opened, I didn't even have a chance to wrap my arms around her before she pulled away and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"How's Adrian? Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine," I smiled.

It was weird, Pansy rarely hugged. She wasn't big on physical contact... despite the intimate kind with her girlfriend. Trust me, I was forced to hear it all. After shoving me aside she hugged Draco who entered behind me. He scowled but complied and hugged her back quickly and awkwardly.

"Everything with your father is sorted out, yeah?"

"It's been taken care of."

"God, it was hell without you two here. Much to chummy. We never realized how necessary your bickering was until it was gone."

"Well, unless Draco can somehow manage to be less of a prat, you'll have to deal with it again."

"And if Slater can manage to stop talking, I might be able to get a word of my own in."

"Nobody wants to hear about anything you have to say. We don't care about Potter's every move... and it's creepy how much you do."

"And nobody cares that you can't play Quiddich anymore, you weren't even that good."

"You bought your way on to the team and you can barely take your eyes off Potter long enough to even see the snitch. And I was excellent."

"I stand corrected, your bickering was not missed. I'm going to steal Slater now, see you later," Pansy said, nodding for me to follow her to the dorm.

   Daphne jumped up and hugged me when Pansy announced that I was back. They never hugged anyone, ever, so I wasn't sure what the fuss was all about. I had been thinking on the walk to the castle about what my excuses should be, and it was probably best to just tell them I would be in and out from now on. That way they wouldn't ask questions every time I left.

   "Hey, I've got to talk to you guys."

   Both of their faces instantly fell and they sat up in their beds quickly.

   "Nobody died, calm down."

   "Sorry, you're never serious like this though... it's weird."

   "From now on I might be leaving the castle every now and then. I'll likely be back within the same day or maybe the next, but I won't be gone for long. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

   "What? Why?" Daphne asked.

   "If my mum ever needs something I'll have to go home. Adrian isn't there anymore and he's always in danger at work... she has some rough days."

   "Where is all of this coming from? You've been really mysterious lately... and you can't stand your mother. Why would you go and take care of her whenever she calls?"

   "Adrian made me promise I would look after her. She was always better to him and he's one of my favourite people, so I have to."

   "You don't have to do anything."

   "It really isn't a problem, one day here and there won't kill me. Seriously."

"Alora, is something going on?" Pansy asked.

"Nothing is going on, I just wanted to let you know now in case I don't have time to say goodbye some days."

They looked at me strangely for a moment before agreeing to drop the subject. At least it was taken care of, I could get that out of my head for a while. Pansy and Daphne filled me in on all of the gossip that I missed, and to my surprise, a lot of things happened. I hate not being in the center of all the drama, I missed being the old me. I had more fun.
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   It was almost March, spring was coming to finally cleanse the country of the cold, dreary winter filled with gray skies and slush. Maybe my life would be sunny and warm soon, maybe I could finally get some space to breathe. Imagine if they forgot about me, that would be the most amazing outcome. Nearly impossible, but a girl can dream.

   I couldn't sleep again, I was so nervous someone would call me and I would have to leave already. There was no way I was ready for whatever needed to be done. At the same time though, is it even worth getting hurt over and over just because I feel the compulsion to do the right thing? They won't stop torturing me, so why bother?

As awful as that is to even think, it keeps crossing my mind. Maybe the guilt isn't as awful as I'm making it out to be. I don't know how much more I can take. I keep saying how I can last forever and I'm getting used to it, but the second the curse hits me, it's pain like I've never felt before. It never gets easier. I don't even know why I'm considering sinking to their level.

   The thought just won't leave, though.

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