in·san·i·ty | B.E (HIATUS)

4- Riley

I reread paper towns today. Such a cute book. The mysterious girl and the lovestruck boy. God, I was tempted to search Billie's old house for a clue. Something, anything. Did she leave notes in her doorframe too? Is there something I'm missing?

I'll admit, I decided to check her gravestone today. I didn't stay long, just glancing over it and continuing to walk. I could just sense it's emptiness. There was nothing in there that could lead me to the girl I loved.

Billie, if you were here right now, id drop to my knees and apologize. I'd hold on to every single word you said to me, good or bad. You could curse me out and I'd savor it. I'd drink up every last word, every glance, every touch. I miss you with every fiber of my soul. The life in my veins, the very essence that holds me together is aching for you.

I hope you know I'm desperately trying to make my way back to you. I want you more than life itself. Please don't give up on me. Please.

Did you know I found a perfume that smells like you? I don't spray it often. I'm scared I'll get used to it and the memory will fade.

Writing like she did is stupid and pathetic. But I love her. We are young, but I love her.