Tailored Hats, Cats and White Rabbits Original

19// "How Long Is Forever?"

19// “How Long Is Forever?”

The dregs of the medication were starting to wear off as I become acutely aware of the leaden feeling my entire body now occupied. A continuous thudding of pain in my head seemed to pulse through my whole body. Squinting my eyes open I’m glad that my arms and legs aren’t tied to a hospital bed as I sat in a dimly lit room while professors stared at me through a one way tinted glass. Instead I’m in my bed in my room. I can tell because the sheets have that particular smell and that underlying scent of home, of me. I would have smiled but I didn’t. The memories bound back to me like an elastic band stretched too far. Our field trip. The board. Our family and friends. Why had Nurse Carrigan and Harper showed us those people?

The ones who brought back the darkest most vile of our memories, some of us, the very source of our outbreaks, of our illnesses, we had never suspected a thing. Did they really think that these people could help us? Did Carrigan really think that by showing us the most hated or most vulnerable people in our lives that it could show the board how much we had improved, or in this case worsened? No. No she didn’t.

She knew. She knew that we were still so fragile, like glass that had been shattered and glued back together. It was ten times more susceptible to breaking then before. She knew. Nurse Carrigan and Nurse Harper had known that we wouldn’t have handled it. After all they didn’t want us to leave the institute in the first place, they didn’t want us to go and have fun. They thought that we didn’t deserve it. So they searched our files, found the people that set us on edge the most, and put us in a room with them. Like putting six lions in with six sheep, it was never going to end well.

Squinting my eyes to avoid the blinding hospital light that would never come, I brought my hand up to cradle the bruise on the back of my head. The room was dark except for three side table lamps. Scratching the grogginess out of my body and eyes I sat up in my bed and looked around. Jaxon and James were both awake. I did a double take seeing that they were both upright in their beds too.  
“Hey buddy” Jaxon croaked out after a moment of realising that they were shell-shocked.
“Hi” my voice was husky and deep, “how long have we been asleep for?”
“About a day” James replied this time, his hands covered his face and his voice was slightly muffled.

I did nothing but nod in reply and swing my legs over the bed, to find that I was still wearing my jeans and shirt from yesterday.
“We wouldn’t go out there if we were you” Jaxon answered before I could think about walking.
“Why? What’s wrong?” I couldn’t help sounding like I didn’t care.
“Carrigan and Harper are on the warpath” James answered for him. I looked down and my mind wandered to Cherry and Blondie and…Alisa.
“Where’s Alisa?” I looked pointedly at them both, switching my gaze sharply. The twins were quiet for a while, exchanging looks but avoiding my eyes.
“Tweedles” I growled. Hopefully they knew that I wasn’t messing around.

“They put her in solitary confinement” Jaxon spoke up, as he drew his knees up to his chest. Without thinking my next move I crossed to the door in hurried strides. Jaxon and James didn’t even stop me. I swung the door open viciously only to see that Nurse Carrigan was manning the door.
“What did you do with her?” I shot out before she could tell me to back away.

“Mr Lantara—” Carrigan started, putting her hands up to line with my shoulders. She was smaller than me, much smaller. And I wouldn’t hesitate to push a woman over if it meant getting to Alisa.
“No! I want to see her now!” I shouted, standing my ground.
“She’s very fragile at the moment Mr Lantara, it would not be in her, or your, best interest to see her” her face was expressionless. Nothing to indicate whether she was acting on orders or her own impulses. No sadness, empathy or anger to show how she felt about this whole thing.
“How would you know what’s in her best interests!” I shouted full at her. Carrigan looked as though she was about to take a step back, but stopped short.