The Road to Newtopia (The Calamity Girls Book 2)

Return to Wartwood

I woke up to the sound of Sprig playing his fiddle. Hop Pop pulled into the town. "Sprig, keep it down, I'm trying to sleep after all that driving and, oh my frog, we're back in Wartwood!" I yawned. "Any luck finding a way back to your world, girls?" Loggle asked. "Nope, but we're whittling away at it." Anne joked. "That wood reference was for me." Loggle whispered. "Well, if it isn't the Plantars, haven't seen you lot for a long time." Wally lied. "Definitely didn't see you on your trip." "Whatever you say, Walliam." Polly chuckled. "If I can't get some sleep, could someone please get me some coffee?" I asked as Stumpy gave me some. Sprig began to search for Ivy. "Hey, Felicia, where's Ivy?" Sprig asked. "Oh, she said she had something more important to do." Felicia replied as Sprig was about to cry. "Something about an..." "AMBUSH!" Ivy interrupted her mom. All of a sudden, Mayor Toadstool came in, hitting Toadie with a cane. "Simmer down, market stops for no one, y'all can welcome back the Plantars after business hours." He said. "How about we all meet at my restaurant tonight?" Stumpy suggested. "Have a town dinner for the Plantars." "We're in!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "I can't wait for some authentic swamp cooking." "And I can't wait for that Newtopian coral hand fitment, thanks for picking it up for me." Stumpy said. "Say, if we're all gonna be together anyway, why not bring all the gifts from our wishlist?" Mrs Croaker suggested as the town agreed. "Gifts?" I wondered. "Wishlist?" Anne added. "Great idea, Mrs Croaker." Hop Pop replied, sweating. "Can we go home, Hop Papa, I'm so sleepy?" Polly asked in baby talk. "Of course, my sweet, baby child." Hop Pop replied as he grabbed all of us and dragged us into the fwagon.

In the fwagon, Hop Pop and Polly began searching the floor for something. "You want this one?" Sprig asked me. "Oh, no, Anne's got this." I replied. "What the heck is going on?!" Anne asked. "So, uh, remember when Hop Pop and I went to pick up the fwagon?" Polly explains. "Well, on our way back, Mrs Croaker asked if we could pick her up a new romance novel while we were in the city." "Before we knew it, everyone was asking for stuff." Hop Pop added. "So we hid the list in a special place so we wouldn't forget, and then we forgot." "What?" I asked. "I'm so sorry, you guys, please don't get mad." Polly begged. "Aw, it's okay Polly, you're just a baby." Anne cooed. "But YOU, I cannot believe you forgot about something so important, Hop Pop!" "Look, I'm sure we can find a way to bury this so no one finds out." Hop Pop explains. "Nope, lying will only make it worse, I feel like we've learned that lesson by now." I said. "Well, one things for sure, we have to lie." Sprig added. "Preach!" Anne exclaimed. "Wait, what?" "Ivy asked for a red sun shell from the Newtopian coast, to match my blue moon shell." Sprig explains. "Aw!" Anne and I gasped. "She can't find out, guys, what if she gets mad, what if she thinks I don't like her, relationship will be over before it starts!" Sprig panicked. "Fine, we'll do it for Sprivy, no way we're letting that ship sink." Anne sighed. "Great, now let's put our heads together and come up with a plan." Hop Pop said. "And we better hurry, or you might forget." I joked. "IT WAS ONE TIME, ROWENA!" Hop Pop snapped.

As Hop Pop pulled the fwagon up to the house, all I saw were tulips. We had to brainstorm a plan. "Okay, so we agree on the concept, fake empty gift boxes that get tragically destroyed by some kind of monster." Hop Pop explains. But, what monster?" Anne asked. "Nothing too dangerous, we don't want anyone to actually get hurt." "How about this, the Chickalist, a beast that eats golden treasure, DOESN'T eat amphibians, won't attack unless threatened, and can be called to any area with a ritual." Sprig suggested. "Where'd you get that book?" I asked. "Holy frog abuse, is this cover made out of skin?" "Maddie gave it to me." Sprig replied. "This Chickalist is pretty perfect, gifts get eaten, nobody gets hurt, and we don't get blamed." Hop Pop said. "We all okay with using ancient eldritch magics?" We all agreed.

After a short planning montage, it was time for our ritual. "Play the forbidden note." Hop Pop said as Sprig did just that. "Corrupted sacred message." A big flash of light showed up and activated the signal. "Alrighty then, who wants Stumpy's?"

We attended the party at Stumpy's after the ritual. Although, it didn't take long for the Chickalist to join the party. "What is that thing?" Stumpy asked. "Chickalist, the storm bearer, it's an honor to see him, you know, before it kills us." Maddie replied. "Oh no, who could have predicted this?" Anne, The Plantars, and I gasped in unison. The Chickalist started squawking. "Maddie, you're the expert here, what is it saying?" I asked. "No idea, it's language is older than written history." Maddie explains as the Chickalist started eating the empty boxes wrapped in gold paper. "Oh no, it's eating the presents." Polly said sarcastically. "We should probably leave it alone until it's finished." Hop Pop added. "No way!" Ivy snapped. "You guys did something nice for us, are we gonna let some chicken get away with this, with the Plantars?" "No!" The town shouted. "Then come on, let's save those presents, for the Plantars!" Ivy exclaimed as the town charged. "It's finally my turn to say this, but, told ya so!" I shouted. Loggle ended up stabbing it in the toe. I grabbed my driver to  prepare to fight. "Let's spatchcock this chicken!" Anne exclaimed as the town tried attacking again. "Wait guys, we gotta work together, who knows what this thing can do." The Chickalist apparently had the ability to turn some of the townsfolk into stone. "Holy frog abuse!" I screamed. "Cool." Maddie said. "Maddie, can you cure them?" Sprig asked. "Yeah, sure, I should have enough antidote for everyone." Maddie replied. We all fought off the chicken as Maddie was curing those who turned to stone. As it started to breathe fire, Mayor Toadstool used Toadie's stone body to block the flames. "Nice, you're using his stone body as a shield." Anne commented. "Wait, he's stone?" He asked. "This thing's unbeatable!" Anne exclaimed. "Nothing's unbeatable!" Mayor Toadstool said. "Everyone, Chickalist formation." "We have a formation for this?" Toadie asked. "You guys have a formation for everything!" I shouted as we all got into formation and it just decided to leave on it's own. Everyone cheered. "We did it!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "Finger-licking gone!" Anne added. "But it destroyed the gifts you worked so hard to bring back for us." Mrs Croaker said. "If only we had fought harder." Ivy frowned. "I guess we let you guys down." Anne and I glared at Hop Pop. "Me and Hop Pop forgot the list and didn't get you guys anything!" Polly confessed as everyone dropped us. "Well, I'm not surprised, typical Plantars, giant monsters, property damage, putting the entire town in danger!" Mayor Toadstool complained. "I gotta admit, I missed it." "Things have been really boring without you five causing mayhem and learning emotional lessons." Mrs Croaker explains. "Wait, so you don't care that we lied and summoned an elder god to cover it up?" Hop Pop asked. "We're just glad you're back." Stumpy replied. "Ivy, I'm sorry I didn't get you a red sun shell." Sprig apologized as Ivy slapped him. "You big dummy, it's just a shell, you can make it up to me by finally taking me on a date." Ivy replied, kissing Sprig on the cheek. Anne and I got so excited. If only I had the courage to ask Anne out.