The Road to Newtopia (The Calamity Girls Book 2)

Anne Hunter

We stopped in a forest to camp out. "Okay, dinner's ready." Hop Pop announced. We were all starving. "Hang on to your butts, bam, stick surprise." We groaned. Long story short, we were low on food. "Hop Pop, this isn't food." Sprig retorted. "I spent the end of my summer during a weirdness apocalypse and you'd be surprised what we had as food." I explained. "But I didn't tell you what the surprise is." Hop Pop replied as we got excited. "Alright, there's no surprise." We groaned again. "Sorry, kids, this journey's been longer than expected and we're out of food." "It's our fault, we dragged you guys out here to try to get us home, and now, we're all gonna starve to death!" Anne exclaimed. The Plantar's began to burst into laughter. "We're not gonna starve to death, this is our chance to find food the way nature intended, as hunters." Sprig said. Anne was daydreaming. "Guys, leave the hunting to us!" Anne shouted. "Say what?" Hop Pop asked. "That came out of nowhere." Polly added. "You guys have done so much for us, let Anne and I do something for you for a change." I said. "Ooh, I can teach them to hunt the Plantar way, Hop Pop!" Sprig exclaimed. "Okay, but you three better be careful, we're not in the valley anymore, who knows what dangerous predators are lurking about, they can be poisonous, psychic, they could be poisonous and psychic, YOU DON'T KNOW!" Hop Pop panicked. "Whoa, Hop Pop, it's fine." Sprig reassured his grandfather. "You guys ready to hunt?" "I'm so pumped, this is gonna be awesome." I cheered.

Sprig took us into the woods to start hunting, but I could tell Anne wasn't gonna enjoy it. "This is not awesome." Anne complained as Sprig was eating some mud. "I thought hunting was supposed to be cool, conquering nature and stuff, not eating mud." "Conquering nature?" Sprig asked. "Oh, no, hunting is about becoming one with nature." "Do we at least get a cool weapon, like a crossbow, kunai, a crossbow that shoots kunai?" Anne asked. "The only weapon I need is my lucky driver." I replied. "Weapons are for barbarians!" Sprig shouted. "Hunting the Plantar way involves 3 main steps, first, track your prey, the soil is a buffet of clues." Sprig kept eating the mud and directed us deeper into the woods, and was surprisingly able to track down a bug that reminded me of a long john donut. "See, girls, nature provides, we found some grubbles, they're supposed to be delicious." I began to drool. "I never thought I would be drooling so much about a bug to eat." I whispered. "Step 2: use your surroundings." Sprig explains as he dug a trap. "And now it's time for the final, and most important step, the dance." "Dance?" Anne asked. "What do you mean... oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me." Anne looked away in disgust and I just pulled out my phone and started recording Sprig. "This dance has been in our family for generations, watch me closely, it's designed to both entice and disorient." As Sprig continued his dance, a couple more grubbles miraculously crawled into his trap. "Okay, that's enough, I think I can hunt just fine without a funny little dance." Anne said. "I don't know, Anne, hunting in Amphibia is way different from hunting back home." I explained. "There's nothing funny about the sacred Planter hunting dance, Anne, besides, I thought you liked dancing?" Sprig asked. "Well, yeah, when there's music and a dance floor, I mean, is this even necessary, these little guys seem pretty easy to catch, I don't think they even have brains." Anne replied. "Not all prey will be as easy as grubbles, but that's not the point, hunting is about connecting to the harmony of nature, let it's rhythm flow through you, can you feel the drums, girls, can you hear them playing the beat of the hunt?" Sprig asked. "No." I replied. "Now let's split up and double the grubble, I've got the eyes of a hawk." Anne demanded as Sprig and I saved her from plummeting to her death on a cliff. "Totally saw that." "Sprig, I think it's best if I go with Anne." I said. "Okay, but just be careful, alright, we still don't know what's out here." Sprig agreed.

I helped Anne gather up a few grubbles to eat."The dance, Anne." Anne intimidated Sprig. I giggled a little bit. "Hey, Rowena, you wanna know what's better than a ridiculous dance?" "Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked. "A stick!" Anne exclaimed, but as she was about to slice a grubble with a stick, we heard Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop screaming. "Guys!" We shouted. We headed back to the campsite we set up, but all we found was Bessie, who was still hooked up to the fwagon. "Hey, girl." I said to calm her down. "Bessie, where's the family?" I asked as a huge shadow was cast above us, revealing a monster that captured our family. "It came out of nowhere!" Sprig cried. "Careful, girls, it still might be psychic!" Hop Pop warned. "I'M TOO CUTE TO DIE!" Polly yelled as the monster took them away, leaving nothing behind but a half eaten biscuit. "Dang it, Polly, food hoarder." Wait, Anne look, it left a trail." I said. "Super huntress instincts engage, we can totally do this!"

"Yeah, I can't do this." Anne grunted as we were left with three paths. "The trail's gone completely cold." I said. "Sprig was right, I don't know what I'm doing, if only he were here with us." Suddenly, a strange, yet familiar voice whispered to us. "Anne, Rowena." We looked to see a ghost like figure appear. We screamed and grabbed onto each other in fear. I blushed. "Follow the true way of the hunter." I immediately recognized that voice to be Sprig, and also it looked like him. "Sprig, holy frog abuse, are you dead, is this your ghost?" I asked. "What, no, the real Sprig is still out there and needs your help, me, I'm more like a stress induced hallucination." The ghost explains. "But, we can both see you, so you're saying we finally snapped." Ghost Sprig gave a thumbs up. "Welp, as long as you're helping, what do we do?" I asked. "Follow the steps." Ghost Sprig replied. "The steps, what were they again?" Anne asked. "Track your prey, guys!" Ghost Sprig groaned. "How do we track again?" Anne asked. "I think we're supposed to sniff the dirt." I replied. We both sniffed it. "Now I think we're supposed to taste it." Anne was disgusted. "By all means, take your time, we're only about to be eaten by a horrifying creature!" Ghost Sprig exclaimed. We both tasted the dirt, but we tasted Polly's biscuit.

After this super awesome montage, we finally found the habitat of the monster that took the Plantars hostage. "What the heck is that thing anyway?" I asked. "It's a scorpileo, Rowena, half scorpion, half lion." Ghost Sprig explains. "Scorpileo, huh, that's one messed up horoscope." Anne said. "Okay, we don't have much time, think, what was step 2?" "Use your environment!" We answered in unison. We dug a hole in the ground and set our trap for the scorpileo. "Okay, what's next?" Anne asked. "Oh, you know what comes next, the dance." Ghost Sprig replied. "We don't have a choice." I said. "We'll do it together." "Fine, but just this once, because I like you guys." Anne groaned. "Hey furball." We started dancing, but it didn't work. "Why isn't this working?" I asked. "That's because you don't believe in the music." Ghost Sprig replied. "There is no music!" Anne argued. We each started dancing to the rhythm of nature and caught the monster's attention. We continued dancing and trapped it in the hole we dug up. "Woohoo, we did it!" Anne cheered as we grabbed the Plantars and escaped.

We walked back to our campsite, safe from harm. "You did it, girls!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "That was the best hunter dance I've ever seen." Sprig cried. "We did, didn't we?" Anne asked. "We heard the music, Sprig, we each felt one with nature."

Not the best chapter I wrote, but at least it's content. -Mal.