Before and After

Hey or Goodbye

I woke up to the sound of beeping coming from my dresser on the side of the bed It was 7:00 I had to get to school by 8:30 , I tapped my phone and turned off the alarm that greeted me every morning. I hated that dreadful sound, that sound meant school, which meant that I had to get ready for hell. I rolled off the bed covered with my pink and white blankets and stumbled towards the bathroom.

Once I got in there there was a sticky note with some money taped to it from my mother on the mirror.

"I'm not going to be home tonight just order in, love you."

I rolled my eyes, she wasn't home any night she was either at the job or she was out with her boyfriend and his family never thinking to invite me. It's like she created her own family and forgot I totally existed like I wasn't a person with feelings. She wouldn't even notice if I just disappeared one day and never came back.

I moved the sticky note and looked at myself in the mirror and my dark brown eyes stared back at me, My brown skin was not perfect I still had some acne but not that much, I had puffy baggy eyes from when I cried myself to sleep last night but besides that, I looked normal. My curly hair was a mess on the top of my hair I had forgotten to put on a bonnet and now I didn't know what to do.

It's not like I wanted to die I just wanted life to stop, for people to stop moving and especially the pain. Nobody believed me and eventually I stopped saying what happened to me and people thought that I was admitting that I was lying so they made my life a living hell.

I just got a comb and started to pull through it and smacked some jell on it and pulled it into a bun and it looked okay but not the best. I grabbed my toothbrush and started to brush my teeth and tongue never forget the tongue and went back to my room to get my clothes. I just grabbed a big sweater and a pear of jeans and some black converses and that was it,that was usually what wear to school.

I put the clothes on and grabbed my backpack and started to put my books and homework that I was working on in my bed last night in the bookbag.I went down the stairs and looked into the fridge and saw nothing but a jug of milk and some ketchup. I would have to text mom to see if she could give me some money for the groceries.

I looked around one more time before I grabbed an apple and went out the door towards school. The walk from my house to the school wasn't that bad it just usually let me think and think was the last thing I wanted to do all the thoughts and memories were not for me. It was now 8:00 I had 30 minutes to get to school and be in class but the school is only 10 minutes away from my house.

I was about to enter the school when I heard a car slam and when I turned my head I saw a guy walking from what looked like a honda. The guy looked oddly familiar to me but I thought that I had seen him before but maybe that was because I was too far away to really look at him.

I turned around and opened the door to my school and immediately everyone turned their heads in my direction. Some were looking at me in pitty and some were just straight out laughing at me. It happened freshmen year and now i'm a junior why couldn't they just let me live.

This is why I was thinking about doing it, it just feels like it's going to follow me everywhere, hell people from other schools heard about it. I had already made the note I was just trying to get the balls to actually do it.

I looked around trying to ignore everyone like I usually do and go to get my books out my locker. I got my books and headed into homeroom early.Nobody was in there which I liked, that's why I go to every class early. I walked all the way to the back and sat down and after a few minutes everyone started to pile in.

Nobody talked or bothered me which is the only good side of this place everyone left me alone afraid that the wrong thing will set me off. The teacher came in and everyone went to go sit in their seats and quieted down.

This class was history which may be the most boring class to ever exist. Every time slavery is mentioned they look at me for a whole different entire reason. I went to a predominantly white school and I hate it, they're only like four POC kids in my school and that's sad.

After a few minutes of WW2, a knock sounded at the door and everyone averted their eyes to the door. There were a few muffled voices and then he walked in. His hair was brown and curly and his skin was tan and he was dressed in a red sweater with what looked like a white collered shirt underneath and his jeans were folded at the bottom with the same shoes as me that black converses. On his hands there were rings on his fingers.

As soon as he walked in all the girls automatically looked at each other and started whispering and smiling.

He looked at me and now I knew where I knew him, we used to be best friends back in middle school until he moved to Seattle I think for his mothers job. Now looking at him he looked totally different from the kid I remembered, back then he had braces and he had a buzzcut now he looked like he should be posing for a back-to-school poster.

When he looked at me and the look of realization filled my face he smiled.I automatically looked away and the teacher started to speak."Okay class this Is Percy Garcia and he will be joining us this school year so everyone give him a warm welcome" before going back to her desk.

She pulled out her seating chart and looked directly next to me, she pointed at the desk"Okay Percy since there are no other seats you could sit next to Miss.Washington" she sat in her chair and waited for him to sit down.

I hear a few snickers when he sat down next to me,I immediately felt his eyes on me and it was pissing me off.Does this guy not get context clues?I want to be left alone and for his and my benefit,I turned my attention to the board for the rest of the class and when the bell rang I ran out of the class towards my next class before he got a chance to talk to me.

Percy 

I watched her get up and run out of class, she looked different from the last time I saw her.It's like all the happiness and light was sucked out of her eyes and was replaced will grey.She still looked good though she always looked good,she was my best friend since the day she asked to borrow my blue crayon in kindergarten.After that we just spent everyday together and when I found out we were moving in my 7th grade year it was sad for both of us.

The last time I saw her she was crying while we were pulling off towards the airport where my boring life would begin. I thought she would be happy to see me but it looked like she was anything but that. I was looking forward to seeing her and now i'm just sad. Why didn't she want to talk to me?

No, you know what I will talk to her no matter what and we will be best friends again or hopefully something more like I always wanted us to be.