Before and After

60 days

I ran out of the house I couldn't let him see me like that,I ran all the way to my house thanking whatever god that my mom wasn't home.I ran up the stairs not even caring that I didn't even lock the door on the way up.I ran to my room and sank to the floor and tried my hardest to calm myself. They just wouldn't stop the pain and flashbacks just hit me all at once.

Breathe Amina just breathe calm down 

I felt a presence coming in to the room and then I saw him he was standing over me and when I looked  it him he smiled.

No, I will not do this today I try my hardest to push all the memories down no matter what but they seem to just pop up again.

I don't know how long I stayed there for but when I opened my eyes I somehow managed to get into bed.My alarm was blaring to introduce another day of hell just 2 more months and you could just let it go I Silently thought to myself.I got up and went to go look in the bathroom,the color was drained from my face I literally look grey.I grabbed my toothbrush and started to brush while also trying to brush my hair.

I went to my room and grabbed a black hoodie and threw it over my hair and grabbed a pair or jeans and wore my converses again.I wasn't looking forward to seeing him he's just going to ask all these questions and I wasn't prepared for that at all.He just, reminds me of the life I was the happiest and I don't think my mentality is stable enough for that.

I was grabbing my book bag from the table when I heard a honk and I didn't really think anything of it until I heard it again and I looked out the window.He was sitting in his car leaned over waving,this guy really just couldn't leave me alone now I had sit in a car with him alone for 10 minutes. 

I walked up to his car and he looked up at me in the brightest smile I ever saw and that's saying a lot."I was gonna go up and knock but there was a 50/50 chance you would slam the door in my face."He says while opening the door with one hand on the steering wheel and the other unlocking the doors."You are sadly mistaken I hate walking to school almost more than actually going." Once I said that I already knew what he was going to ask by the face he was making.

"Why do you hate school so much? Why did you run out like that last night?"He was looking at me with seriousness."Both of those questions are related but I'm not ready to tell you."We were both looking at each other now and we were snapped out when a car honked us from behind."

After that we rode in silence until  he turned on the radio, the song playing was Scrawny by Wallows,I was singing lowly and then out of nowhere he started to shout it."ONLY CONTENT OF THINGS STAY THE SAME" he sings loudly he then looked to me."Come on sing the chorus with me."he looked at me with sad eyes expecting me to fold."Alright fine but only because this is one of my favorite songs.

Then we both started singing at the top of our lungs."WILL YOU COME A LITTLE CLOSER NOW AND TELL ME I'M A SCRAWNY MOTHERFUCKER WITH  A COOL HAIRSTYLE" the song ended right when we were pulling up in front of the school and we both were still giggling.

We walk silently up the stairs and people outside were giving us weird glances and whispering to their friends.

"Wallows is my favorite band right now.What other songs do you like from them?"He looks over at me while opening the door to inside the building."I like "Pleaser" oh and "Remember When" the best besides "Scrawny.""I said as we were nearing my locker,I didn't even look at the people looking at me today because I was too distracted looking at him.

"I would have to agree with you but "Pictures of Girls" is a good one too."He goes down the hall to his locker saying that we'll see each other in like two minutes.As I was about to close my locker my heart jumped and I started sweating.Not here not now I had one last night usually they would come every few weeks I stood at my locker for two more minutes before I closed and I felt my heart rate slow down.

That was a close one,I grabbed my books and headed to room 101 for math class when I got there two girls were on either side of his desk trying to talk to him." So where are you from?" she looked at him with a smile on her face and her friend on the other side basically drooling over him."I'm from here actually I just moved back."He looked extremely uncomfortable,I could tell he just wanted to be left alone.

I walked over to my desk next to him and her friend looked at me with pity while that bitch started laughing at me.I think her name was Carina or some shit like that and her friend's name was Jo short for Josephine.She turned back to him and tried to whisper but I could hear exactly what she was saying. "Be careful with that one she might blame you for something you didn't do."she smirked at me and Percy didn't look amused at all in fact he looked like he wanted to yank out her blond hair extensions.

He motioned her down so he could whisper and her ear I don't know what he said but she looked mortified and she stormed off to the other side of the room grabbing her friend's arm on the way."What did you say to her?" I questioned with a skeptical look on my face."Don't worry about it." with that the teacher walked in and went to go grab his book.

The day went by relatively fast and now we were walking back to his car."So what do you want to do today?"He opened the car for us both and we both climbed in."What do you mean you drop me off and you go home." I say dropping my book bag in the back seat."We have five years of friendship to make up for and we can't do that if we aren't together." He then turns the radio on but keeps it low.

All I could do was stare at him,why the hell was he trying so hard? Obviously I wanted to be left alone so why wasn't he taking no for an answer.He didn't even push why I left in a hurry yesterday.What game was he playing at?I could just be overthinking and he really did just want to make up for lost friendships but I didn't trust it.