When Bluebirds Fly | ✔

Epilogue

❝Come on little birdie, fly away before the wind toys with you and swallows you whole.❞

Another day at the silent, cosy library, but today I had completed writing the four parts in my notebook. I stared at the scribbling on the pages, leaned back on the chair and let out an exasperated breath. My gaze flickered outside the french windows, at the same, small bluebird which teetered foolishly on a narrow branch. After so many days, it still hadn't learned its lesson and its tiny body perilously swayed with the gusts of the bloodthirsty wind.

I rubbed my face with pressure, unable to see the stupid, swaying bird and shut the notebook with an audible thud.

I had a naive conviction that pouring out all my thoughts into this poor book would have liberated my mind of all anxieties, but here I was, a heaviness still imposing on me with a determination of an obsessive stalker, following me everywhere I went. In the chilly room, I suddenly felt hot and my hands became clammy. I removed the security guard's jacket which I had once received, draping it behind the back of the chair. I tapped on the surface of the notebook, deciding whether to throw it away in the bin or to get the satisfaction of burning it in the yard.

I didn't remember what all I had written, but I was certain of the words reflecting my innermost, dark desires and thoughts. Many things had occurred as noted in the notebook in my bizarre life, but I couldn't pinpoint at one particular part. I couldn't even recollect all the incidences, but it was somehow an amalgamation of all.

None of these four stories were completely true on their own, none of our stories could possibly be true. Memories of reality so coloured by our perceptions always managed to deceive us. Our sentiments would then manipulate those past memories to simplify them into good or bad based on our current experiences of happiness and sadness. What was left was the present . . . Today, today, today. There existed no yesterday or tomorrow, the truth was today.

Hugging the notebook close to my chest, I entered the spotless bathroom of the library and dumped it in the common bin. I took a pair of scissors from my old backpack and chopped off the damaged blue-dyed part of my hair. I collected the stiff strands, bunched it in my palm and chucked it in the same bin where my notebook lay. Then I washed my face with clear water and looking straight at the mirror, I cracked a small smile. It was all over.

I entered the library again, wondering whether I could pick some book to borrow and read, to relieve my mind from its troubles. There, on my spot, sat a familiar girl with blonde locks of hair and clad in a baby pink t-shirt and skirt. From across the room, her forest-green eyes connected to mine which to my astonishment, were filled with tears. She rushed towards me with her hair bouncing and wordlessly crushed me against her body. Instead of staying motionless like I usually did, I wrapped my arms around her. I needed a hug.

"I'm sorry," Ally whispered, pulling away from me and gave me back my lost, worn-out black diary. "I'm sorry I stole it, you never told me any-anything and I was so scared . . ."

"It's okay. It's all done now," I said with a smile that was more natural than contrived. It was a smile of relief. A forgiving smile.

"I read it," she confessed, her gaze flitting like a trapped, confused bird in a cage. "Is it true?"

I could only shrug, no words stuck at the base of my throat which needed to be spoken. In fact, I had no energy left to do so. She understood this, something that I didn't foresee from her naive self because she quickly wiped her tears. Then she grasped my hands tightly, smiled and led me out of the library as if that was the best possible thing she was supposed to do.

Outside, there stood a curly-head boy with worried pale-grey eyes beside Tony and without a second thought, he grabbed my chin and gently captured my lips in his, kissing me in his loving, Isaac way. I promptly felt at peace again, touching the wrinkles of his serene smile and kissing him with the same tenderness. He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine and his eyes never leaving my face.

"I want a clean book, Isaac . . . A book with no past like when we were children, we were happy," I said, after minutes of silence.

"Life is long Ana, only when we have lost time, we think it's short. We're here throughout it all, the good, the bad. Our books are never empty, it needn't be. The question is, can you be happy now?"

"Right now? Right now, I think I am," I said, glancing at Allison and Tony who exchanged a smile. Standing on my tip-toes, I brushed his curls back and kissed the faint scar that I had given him when we were kids. "If sadness forever stays with us, so does happiness."

"Mariana!" I heard Sam's shout and I whirled around and he immediately took me in his arms. "Your papá told me you left early morning without saying anything. Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I am." I laughed at his concern, looking at everyone and feeling the warmth spread in my stomach like the sun's rays casting over the world, covering every inch of soil and water. "Can we get something to eat quickly?" All of them were first amused, soon nodded at me. "Let's go to your restaurant, Sam."

We walked sedately in the balmy weather, hugging and teasing each other. My gaze flickered one last time to the small bluebird perched on top of the massive tree. Just then, it began flapping its tiny wings and against the force of the wind, it struggled initially then flew upwards and into the clear sky. Within seconds, it joined a group of flying birds and together, they soared higher and higher till they were mere dots in this gigantic world, but with each other.

Today, we have us.

THE END

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A/N :

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