yours {h.s.} | {b1.5}

JANUARY 28, 2020

January 28, 2020

Need to get a new place. This has become a fucking hostel. I'll let Gracie stay with me, and Gracie only. I'm sick and tired of everyone walking in when I'm in the shower. Gracie can do it, that's fine. She's the exception of most things, I think, but mostly because she's just endearing enough but that's not the point.

Was trying to shower. Gracie walked in to tell me about how she was frustrated with the Trump impeachment trial. I was trying to keep up with her, but it made no sense to me. American politics are not my forte. Fortunately she was patient with me and trying to explain her simultaneous frustration, hopelessness, and unrelenting hope. Only, halfway through her explaining this to me—she was pacing around the bathroom in frustration—Ruth came bounding in to do her makeup. Immediately I told her to fuck off but she didn't listen because she absolutely needed to do her makeup in the bathroom that Gracie and I were actively occupying.

As if that wasn't enough: TJ comes in because he needed to fucking pee. I was seconds from insisting that he take it outside and pee in a goddamn bush. I would've, if roles were reversed. It's almost as though none of them have heard of goddamn privacy. To boot: he completely ignored me! As though I wasn't in the shower. He just looked at Ruth and Gracie and made them promise not to look when he peed.

All the while: Gracie is still ranting, Ruth is still putting on her makeup, and now TJ is peeing. I'm yelling, begging everyone to get out, though I don't quite think everyone included Gracie. But I think she thought that it did because she said to me in this tone unlike anything I've ever heard from her, "I don't see why you're freaking out."

Fucking fuming. "You don't see why I'm freaking out?" It was all I could do but laugh, but it was completely manic. "Everyone is in the bathroom while I'm in shower. Naked." I looked out at the curtain then, but held it tight to my body.

No one was looking at me, but they were when my head popped out. TJ was covering himself, Ruth was putting some pink on her cheeks, and Gracie was still pacing. "Well, not everyone. Monty's not—" Gracie started to say, thinking she could be a real smart ass. Only, her point was immediately proved wrong when Monty walked the fuck in no the grounds of feeling left out. Oh my God did I swear a fucking storm, insulting them in ways I didn't even quite know possible.

Re: need to get a new place, I don't think I want to move. These motherfuckers are growing on me too much.