A Home At Hogwarts

Part Three

🛑*THIS CHAPTER HAS A TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIA PLEASE BE ADVISED AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION*🛑

If that really was your greatest fear.....you couldn't go in front of the boggart. No one knew your relationship with your mother and even less that you were attracted to men. This creature would out you to your class then the whole school. You knew how these people talked. If this happened you'd surely be kicked out by dinner. Not that you thought Dumbledore was prejudice, but he would have to make you leave for your safety and the security of Hogwarts. Your breaths became ragged and your heart pounded. Someone must have noticed and told Professor Lupin because he came rushing to the back. He grabbed your shoulders and tried to talk but all you heard was ringing. Your chest hurt and your head spun. You could barely see anymore let alone hear or speak. You felt warm arms lift you then your vision faded completely.

~~

You had a piercing headache when you woke up. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. You saw you were in the infirmary and sitting in the chair next to you was the Professor with a book. He looked up when he heard you shift.

"Good you're awake. You had a panic attack. Good thing that a student got my attention or you could have been hurt."

"What about class?" You sat up in the bed and faced him.

"I dismissed them early. My students health is more important than a class. Here take this. It'll make you feel better" he held out a small bar. You took it and read the label.

"Chocolate?" He smiled.

"Yes. Chocolate makes everything better." You chuckled but ate it anyways. He was right. It did help.

"Now. I know you just awoke but I would like to discuss what happened. And the cause of your attack." You looked down at your hands. Crushing the empty wrapper in your fist.

"Could we go somewhere more private to talk about this? I'd rather people didn't overhear." He nodded and stood.

"Of course. Anything to make you more comfortable. You can meet me there once you feel a bit better. You've been dismissed from all your classes today. I'll see you later." After that he left. You sat in the bed thinking over what happened. He seemed like someone you could trust, and that he would keep a secret well. After being discharged you made your way to his office. You stood at the door taking a deep breath. You knocked and he called you in.

"I'm glad you made it. Please sit. Would you like some tea?" You sat and folded you hands on your lap.

"No. I'm alright. Thank you though." He nodded and sat back down.

"Now. Would you be able to explain to me what happened? At your own pace of course." You nodded slowly.

"Well...after you walked back to the front I realized what my fear might be. Before explaining that I'll have to tell you a little about my home life. Before I came here. It was only me and my mom. She raised me alone but...her views are a little....skewed. She thinks that 'mudbloods' shouldn't be able to use magic, because they are tainted. She's very strict. Before I came here she....she found something out and I was no longer allowed to stay with her. She sent me here." He nodded.

"I noticed you never go home for the holidays. But where do you go at the end of the year?" He furrowed his brow.

"Oh. Well I've stayed at a few peoples houses. I actually stayed with Hagrid this past summer. Under the guise of learning more about animals and grounds keeping. Like an internship. That's what I told him."

"I see. Please continue. Are you ok with telling me more?" You exhaled a deep breath.

"Yes. I'm ok. What she....found out. She found out that I......like men. She raged about the house. Throwing things, screaming. Then she mentioned that I had gotten a letter from here years back. That she had ignored it to homeschool me. So she sent me here. But not before......not before saying 'how could I ever love a faggot son' that's what I feared. If that was my greatest fear everyone would see it. Everyone would know. And I can't leave here. I have nowhere else to go. And I just....i couldn't handle the possibility that I couldn't be here. This place feels like home. Sure I don't have many friends or any family here. But I care about everyone here. This is my home. Even the Professors. I care for all of you. I don't want to leave." Tears slipped down your face as you finally spilled all your anxieties. Letting it all go. Sharing it with even one person felt ..... Freeing.

"I understand now. You don't need to fear leaving. We'd never make you leave over something like that. And certainly not Dumbledore. He's clearly not an arrow. He's more of a 'love everyone equally' kinda guy. And he would never abandon you just because of who you love. And im sure if you told him what you've told me he can set you up a permanent room here. You won't have to house hop during the summer."

"Would you go with me?" He smiled.

"Of course I will."

12.15.2020