TRAPPED | Trent Alexander Arnold

Chapter 15 - ice cold

Do you know what I'm feeling right now?

I don't think I have the perfect words to verbally explain it, but the feeling is worse than pooping in a public toilet and realizing there's no tissue paper or water half way through.
I'm not sad, I'm not happy, I'm not angry, I'm not pained, the only thing I can point out is shock. I am shocked to see her, but I don't know how to react. I expect myself to be crying and breaking down like a rusty old truck, but for some reason I want to laugh at her. The life she wanted to see me living is the life she is living, she looks miserable, not just because of her horrible outfit, you can actually see the misery in her hazel eyes. It's as clear as an image taken with an iPhone 11 pro max portrait mode.

"K-Kylie?" She finally managed to say after a couple of minutes, completely dazed.

"Oh how the tables have turned!" I smirked.

"What's going on? Do you guys know each other?" Jadon asked, I can't even explain how cute he looked with that confused expression on his face.

"Yes...she's my....sister" Trina said, making me let out a humorless chuckle.

"Sister? I'm your sister?" I raised an eyebrow at her "i WAS your sister, but not anymore. Not after what you did to me!"

"Ky-"

"Have a great day! C'mon Jadon" I snapped and grabbed Jadon's arm out of the cafe, completely ignoring Trina's calls.

The moment the outside air slapped my face, a tear escaped from my eyes. I don't know why it's hurting more right now, I don't want to cry or feel anything in particular related to her, but I can't. All the moments we've shared together, from childhood, to adulthood, they just came rushing through my mind at once. She is....I mean, was my sister. My blood. My mother figure. My guardian angel. And she had a hand in the plan to destroy my life. That shit hurts on a whole new different level.

I still can't understand why. Why is all this happening? Why is my past coming back to haunt me? First Blake, then Trent, then Alex, and now Trina. Just why? When will all this bullshit come to an end? When will I finally have a life without my past bothering me? As much as I'd hate to admit it, I'm not strong enough to handle such emotional issues, my heart is very fragile, I'm already having a hard time forgetting about everything, I don't need to deal with reliving the situation.

"Kylie please tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying?" Jadon asked for the millionth time as we got into his car.

I just chose to ignore him and look out the window as I really didn't want to talk.

"C'mon Kylie, what happened?" He insisted "please tell me"

"It's Nothing" I Said.

"It can't be nothing! You're fucking crying!"

"I Said it's nothing! Just leave me alone. Please" I told him.

"I can't leave you alone, especially not in a mood like that with tears in your eyes" he said "just tell me what's wrong? What-"

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU ITS NOTHING! Why not just shut the fuck up and leave me alone! Would you be able to do anything to help if I tell you? Huh? Can you go back in time and erase everything? No you can't, so just shut up! Shut the fuck up and mind your own business!" I yelled straight at his face, trying so hard to fight back my tears.

His expression softened as he loosened his grip on the steering wheel "I just wanted to be there for you, but I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. It won't happen again" was all he said before increasing the car speed and giving me the alone time I wanted.

A few minutes later, we arrived at our apartments. He parked the car in his normal spot and got out after me. Once he locked the doors, he slowly walked up the stairs and headed into his flat without saying a word to me, while I stood there like a statue for some time. It didn't take longer than two minutes though for me to literally sprint upstairs and into my own flat. I broke down immediately in the lounge room. I don't know why, but I couldn't control my tears. The pain is too much for me to handle, my mind is literally like a CD right now, so many things were playing in my head at once, it felt like I was going insane. My head felt like it would explode. Whenever I think I got a hang of something, I get proven wrong seconds later. I'm the weakest person I know, and it sucks. Having a fragile heart suck. Being so emotional sucks. I just wish I could become one of those cold, fierce women. Like ICE COLD.