Say You'll Remember Me

Chapter Fifteen

Sometimes when the nightmares don’t come haunting me, I dream about my parents. I dream about what my life would’ve been like if they hadn’t been killed on their way home from wherever it is they went. The dream reminds me that my parents might be up there watching over me. I like to think that whenever they visit me it’s their reminder that I’m not alone, even when I think I am. Because they always visit my dreams whenever I feel as if the world is out to get me.

This time, my mom was the one who found me. She came into my dream, and we were standing at the gazebo. She was beautiful, the version of my mom I had created in my mind looked almost exactly like me. Now she resembled Sara a little bit. But she smiled and took my hands in hers. Even though it was cold outside, her hands were warm.

“Let go of us,” she said quietly her eyes staring into mine, “letting go of the pain you carry because we’re gone, doesn’t mean you’ll forget us. It just means that you’ll be able to love him.”

I looked at my mom, her hair blowing in the wind, her blue eyes staring into mine. I wondered if she liked Hunter. I wanted to ask her if she wants us to be together. But I knew the answer, it was right there staring me in the face. She wouldn’t want me to let go of the pain their absence has made in my life, if she didn’t want me to find happiness with Hunter.

I nodded my head, “I miss you,” I said quietly squeezing her hands, “I don’t remember a lot about you. But I miss you and I know that I love you.”
Her smile was sad, “you were too young to remember everything about us. But we did love you. We still love you,” she pulled me in close and kissed my forehead the way mother’s do. She hugged me tightly as I tried to stop a tear from falling down my cheek, “and we will always love you. We will always watch over you. Be happy, my child. Love him, love life. You only get one chance.”

My eyes opened as the dream faded and I looked around me. Hunter was there beside me, his eyes open and smiling. He always woke up before me. I shivered as he ran his fingers down my arm, and I saw that it was still dark outside the window, “what time is it?”

“Just past six,” he whispered leaning down and kissing me, “you weren’t as restless last night. Did you have another nightmare?”

I shook my head, “no,” my voice was shaking, “I uh. I dreamt about my mom. She told me to love you,” I smiled as I looked at him, “she told me to let go of the pain and love you.”

“She sounds like a smart woman,” he said as he kissed me once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, and he moved so that he was hovering over top of me. I smiled as I felt his hands move up my sides, and I shivered when they moved my tank top away from my skin.

I loved him. I loved the life we had started making together. There was no going back now, I wasn’t sure why I was waiting so long to be with him. My heart decided for me in the same moment my body said it couldn’t wait any longer. I reached towards his shirt and ran my fingers up his stomach and felt his hot skin against my hands.

Hunter broke the kiss and looked down at me, his hand grabbing mine before it traveled further down towards his shorts. We were both breathing heavily as he sat up and I pulled on his shirt. I didn't want him to move. My heart was pounding as he stared down at me, "charlie," his voice was soft, "are you sure?”

I nodded and then I pulled on his shirt making him lean down and kiss me again. I inhaled his scent as he laid in his bed, and I felt his hands shaking. I smiled, he was nervous to be with me. I was nervous to be with him, "I'm sure," I whispered as he kissed my neck.

It was true I had never been more sure of anything in my life. I was in love with this boy, and I wanted to be with him in as many ways as possible.