Naked (Wattys 2022)

Part 18

It was Friday. Ever since the incident with Calhoun happened Kai barely spoke to me and I didn't want to force the conversation.

I'd been trying to find something to wear but to no avail. I knew that he wasn't going to come. He seemed disinterested in me these days.

I became accostomed to people leaving, abandoning me without notice, but why did Kai's distance bother me so much?

Everytime I heard the doorbell I expected it to be him and when I didn't see him I became downcasted.

So when the doorbell rang this time I just sighed.

"Eli, there's someone named K-"

"I'll be right out, please ask him to wait!" I gripped the first thing I could  see and headed downstairs in a rush afraid that he might leave.

"Calhoun?" I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice as I took in his presence.

"Surprise!" Calhoun smiled widely and I tried my best to reciprocate. 

"Let's go out for some food?" I nodded.

I called Emily and told her that I would be heading out with Calhoun for supper. She seemed happy that I was getting out more.

***

I thought it'd be just the two of us however, all of Calhouns friends were present and I was once again in an awkward position. Asher left immediately after he saw Calhouns  arm around me, making my stomach churn with uneasiness.

"When are you going to tell him?" I whispered.

"Soon." He smiled as he stuffed a chip in my mouth. I couldn't eat. I felt responsible for Ashers worsened heartbreak.

My phone rang and as I saw the caller ID my heart froze.

"Hello?"

"Eli, where are you? I'm sorry for being so late but I brought you something." I looked towards Calhoun who was staring at me with the brightest smile making my heart twist.

Calhouns hand touched my cheek.

"Why do you look so sad?" I ended the call.

"I-I need to go. I'll take a cab home. Enjoy yourself and don't get into trouble." Unconsciously my hands  snuck around his waist. As I pulled back Calhoun hugged me tighter as if he were afraid that I might disappear.

Once I got home I ran towards my door. The drive was quite a distance. I chuckled sofly as I saw Kai's head against the pillar. He was sound asleep.

I poked him.

"It's so cold out here, let's go inside?" I said and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry for coming so late." He apologised, bowing his head down in shame.

"No problem." I smiled just thankful that he was present. I wanted to ask why there was a change in his mood but refrained as I saw him yawn cutely.

"I made some homemade pizza and got some strawberries" I didn't know what to say as I stared at him. It was simple and nothing too extravagant but why did I feel so much pain in my heart.

I wasn't given much and the things that were given to me were given out of hatred and anger.

Kai didn't have to. Why was he so kind towards me?

"Is something wrong?" Kai asked and I didnt know how to respond. The feeling in my hands became numb as I was reminded of how little I was worth.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I was afraid. I took a step back. He seemed hesitate to answer.

"Hasn't people been nice to you?" His words struck a chord to the tune I refused to play. My eyes widened as tears that I never wanted to show him came out, telling stories that never should've been told.

"Eli." Kai was shocked as I got up. He walked towards me, but I took a step back, petrified that he might use this against me.

"Blue." He knew how shattered I was. Whenever I was in Kai's presence I could tell that he saw through me in such a short period of time.

His arms wrapped around my shoulders as I instantly caved within the plains of his body. Surrounded by a cacoon, I didn't want to escape.

Kai didn't say anything. He held me as I cried. Why didn't he run away, Wasn't I a burden towards his sanity?

My hands wrapped around his waist as I tried to get some sort of understanding.

He pulled away and then proceeded to wipe my tears.

"I'm kind to you because I want to be. I want nothing other than your presence. Nothing else Eli." I was unsure of how to handle all the emotions locked within me. I was scared that I might hurt someone if I eventually delt with them.

I heard a sound and I turned around to see Calhoun holding a bag in his hand.  I immediately removed myself from Kai, unable to look him in the eye.

"Why are you crying?" He stared accusingly at Kai.

"It's nothing." I sniffled smiling at him.

Kai turned me around.

"You don't need to always smile to please people. You're in pain and it's okay." Kai moved my hair out of my face in order to see me clearly.

As Kai's fingers grazed mine Calhoun gripped my other hand in the opposite direction.

"let me just say thank you-"

"Its okay. Sleep well. Call me whenever you need me. Bye bye Blue." and with that he was gone, along with my sanity.

"Whats wrong Eli?" Calhoun asked and I shook my head unable to get words to come out.

"I brought you some meds, I thought you were feeling unwell." I smiled at Calhoun as I layed my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

***

"Someone left this for you son."I looked up at Emily strangely.

"Thanks for being my friend--K" it was a blue hoody and I couldn't help but feel sad.

Friend?