Naked (Wattys 2022)

Part 23

The night I had with Kai was beyond something I could imagine.

I remembered that Calhoun sent me a message. I checked my phone and it nearly dropped out of my hand.

"I'm not okay. Can you maybe come by?"

***

Calhouns POV

*before Kai and elis date*

I sat down on my bed as loneliness succumbed me.

I remembered the day I met Eli and why I instantaneously could relate to him. I tried to ignore his tragic past but the glimpses he was trying to hide was difficult to just push away.

I knew how he felt. I was a mess and I didn't know how to cope with the endless feeling of sadness.

My father had passed a week prior to me meeting Eli. So when I gripped his face trying to bring him back to reality I cried not being able to deal with witnessing someone else lose their life.

I changed alot since then. Meeting Eli was a surprise. There was someone who wasn't entirely happy with the world either.

My depression had gotten worse and even moving felt like a chore. When I noticed Eli become closer to Kai my heart hurt a little more than it should've.

Was I deserving of him? No.

So I let him go, eventually. After a long game of tug and war. I liked him.

But my sadness and need for someone was clouding my judgment. I told Asher the truth and I ended up losing a friend in the process of all the lies that caught up to me.

I bit my lip as tears flowed down my heated cheeks. I was scared of everything and I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't dare converse with my mother knowing full well that she's fighting through her own demons but what if I didn't want to fight anymore?

What if... I wasnt here anymore?

Before I could do something irreversible I dialed Elis number.

"Im not okay, can you maybe come by? " I whispered trying not to show Eli my trembling voice. I didn't know what to do.

When he didn't answer I closed my phone. Trying to think about the positive memories of my father, his smile, his warm hugs but I ended up in more turmoil.

I'd been crying every night yet the pain inside never got less. The ache traveled to my bones and embedded itself like cancer.

I walked towards my bathroom and turned on the cold water. I stood under the shower fully clothed trying to make sense of everything that happened since then. It was as if shards of glass kept appearing within my skin once one piece was removed. It was slowly turning into insanity. gradually killing me as time moved.

I stumbled out of the batheroom and walked mindlessly towards the door. I left and walked out into the cold air. I stood there and cried my heart out as everything around me splintered into a million pieces, pointing directly at my heart.

I walked towards the biggest and busiest road I could find.

Everyone would be okay without me. My presence only caused pain. I constantly reminded my mother how my father looked. She couldn't stare at me longer than two seconds without bursting into tears.

I smiled as I took a step forward. I could hear my breathing within my eardrums, and the sounds surrounding seemed to now be nonexistent. All I wanted was to feel was nothing.

Silence, finally some silence. The voices in my head were no longer screaming at me.

***

Eli's POV

I woke up Emily immediatley.

"Can you take me to Calhouns please!" tears streamed down my face as my heart ached

"What's wrong Eli?"

"I think something happened to Calhoun." I was frantic, what exactly was Calhoun hiding?

We drove straight towards his place and saw that the door was adjar. I ran towards his bedroom, and found the water over flowing. I turned off the tap and my heart stopped as I heard an ambulance.

I rushed downstairs and told Emily to try her best in order to follow the sound.

I was sickly worried. My insides twisted and I thought back to all the events that took place when I was in Calhouns presence.

He seemed to be so happy, was that a front he was showing. A facade no one knew existed.

Was this the demons he'd been hiding? This heartache I was experiencing was a different kind. Emily finally came to a stop. There was a traffic jam because of an incident near by and I just knew I had to run.

I opened the car door and dismissed Emily's calling. I ran with all that I had as tears broke out in waves. My throat burned and my thighs felt as if they could no longer go any further but I pushed yself to breaking point and prayed that it wasn't Calhoun.

When I got there I fell to the floor. My knees gave in as I took in the picture in front of me.

"We got a pulse!" I didn't know what to do as my entire being shivered. His body didn't look like his. The blood on his face made me want to puke. I couldn't handle it. I was about to go insane.

"Calhoun!" I called out as I rushed to the gurney. 

"Who are you?"

"His friend." I said trying my best not to crumble. I got inside the ambulance and watched as they put a needle into his arm.

I shivered trying to control myself.

"Calhoun, please don't leave me." I begged as I stared at him. We never got to experience the things we talked about. All Calhoun's bright smiles entered my brain as my body began to shiver. I Couldn't imagine a world without him.

Something went beep and my insides ran cold.

"Calhoun!!" I cried out as they began to give him CPR.

Everything was frozen as I clutched my chest struggling to breathe. I was having a panic attack as Calhoun drifted further away from reality.

My lungs closed and I ended up fainting not being able to grasp the situation at hand.

I was petrified.