Cinders

~68~ Not Okay

Once I get back from the station, dad and I go bowling for several hours and I'm annoyed at how many strikes this old man's been getting.

"Is mom still feeling sick?" Dad asks after he throws his ball and gets yet another one.

"Yeah. She looks awful."

"Oh yeah? What's her symptoms?"

"She's pale, nauseous, throws up, tired all the time, clammy...." I list off.

Dad stops for a minute and looks at me hard when something strange flickers on his face. "Hmmm," is all he says as he sits back down, waiting for me to bowl.

"...Hmmm, what?"

"It's nothing." Dad dismisses.

"No...what?"

"Ok this is a weird question, but have you noticed any tampons or anything in the bathroom lately?"

He's right. That was a VERY weird question.

"...No...But I never do. What's wrong with you?" I'm completely grossed out.

Dad chuckles. "Nothing. Go bowl."

When I throw the ball and turn back to dad, he's deep in thought.

"Seriously dad, what's wrong?"

Dad looks at me and shakes his head. "I'm just doing some math."

"What for?"

"How long has she and Taylor been broken up?"

"A month, I think." I say, still not sure what that has to do with anything.

Dad just nods as he goes to take his turn. He gets another strike and sits back down, taking a drink of beer.

"You said she's clammy?" Dad asks again.

"Yeah.." I say. His whole demeanor has changed.

"You know what's wrong with her?" I ask, suddenly worried.

Dad nods simply. "Yeah, I think so."

"Care to share?"

Dad looks at me hard for a second. "I think she's pregnant, Liam."

"WHAT?!?"

He nods. "All those symptoms are what she had with you before we found out. The clammy part is why I'm sure. She would get so clammy, especially right before she'd throw up. She was crazy sick. I doubt she even knows she's pregnant yet."

I just sit there silently for a bit. My mom, pregnant? How would I feel about that? Actually...that would be amazing!!!

We leave and go home once we finish the game, and I think about the possibility of mom being pregnant the rest of the night.

~*~

The next morning after mom gets done with shift, we hear a knock at the door. Dad opens it, and mom has a horrible look on her face. She's not crying, but she looks completely and utterly lifeless.

Dad takes one look at her and sighs. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Mom just silently nods, staring hard at him. Is she in shock?

Dad pulls her into him and holds her. She isn't even crying, and it's spooky. It's like she's been through so much in her life that this is what has finally broken her.

She sees me and shrugs. I'm sorry, Liam."

I go over and hug her. "I'm not sorry. This is great!"

I thought that would make her smile a little, but it doesn't. She keeps the same lifeless expression as she stares at me without really seeing.