Demoralized

Chapter 3

With my eyes squeezed shut, I take a deep, steady breath in a futile attempt to expel the throbbing pain from my head.

After the incident with Harry, I had my dad pick me up from school early. When I got home, I immediately dove into my bed.

I don't even know what happened to Harry afterwards; the teacher escorted him out of the room while I was still in shock. The first day of school was going by surprisingly well, until an absolute lunatic ruined it. However, I'm laying here and I honestly can't stop thinking about him.

I mean, what the hell is wrong with him? Obviously something has to be wrong, as Isaac had said, but what? What could have possibly caused him to act out in this way? Something about him just draws me in and I can't help but want to know more. I want to know everything about this boy.

I shake my head to rid my mind of this confusion. My whole body aches and I need to focus on something solid, something that I know.

I throw the blankets from over my body and slowly force myself out of bed. I go downstairs in a desperate need of food.

In the living room, my dad is sitting on the couch with his head buried in his laptop, typing away with intense determination. His head flicks up as I walk into his peripheral vision, and he removes his glasses.

"You feel alright?" He asks; his concern is laced with very little sympathy, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah. I'll be fine, thanks." I retort back, pursing my lips together. He sends me a curt nod and looks back down to his computer, lowering his glasses to his eyes.

Instead of telling him about my violent incident with Harry, I used a headache as my excuse. And that's not even a lie; my head is honestly pounding.

There's no way my dad can ever know about what really happened today. He'd absolutely lose his shit.

I grab an apple and a glass of water from the kitchen and head back upstairs; glad that the awkward exchange with my dad is over. When I walk back into my room, I notice my phone buzz on the dresser.

From: Carter
Trin! What happened?! Maya from Spanish told me Harry attacked you?I'm picking you up, ok? We'll talk over a cup of coffee. A&E's has the best mocha, I swear it xx

I groan. I do not want to go out tonight, especially with someone I barely know. But I promised myself to be more optimistic this year. Starting a new school means starting over, and I'm going to start by putting myself out there and at least attempt to be positive.

To: Carter
Yes, I'd love to.

I text her my address and 20 minutes later, I hear a honk from outside.
When I open the front door, I hear my dad yell something from the other room.

"What?" I call back irritably.

"I said, where are you going?" His voice stern and impatient.

"Hanging out with my new friend, bye."

"Wait you-" I slam the door, cutting off my dad's unwanted words and walk to Carter's car. I pull my coat tighter around me as I climb into the passenger seat.

"Hey, man!" She's practically yelling as she shoots me her signature shit-eating grin. I reply with a small hello and we make pointless small talk. I'm surprised to find myself talking a lot, since Carter doesn't seem like the shutting-up type. But I banter about nothing and she chuckles along as if we've known each other forever.

Carter is amazing. I've only known her for one day and I can already tell she is going to be a better friend than any of my previous ones. She actually listens, unlike my other shitty group I used to surround myself with. They only cared about three things and three things only-drugs, alcohol, and guys.

Unfortunately, I was exactly like them. Not that I enjoyed it at all.

We enter the small café, and a bell chimes to indicate our arrival. It's cozy and warm, and I feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. It smells like coffee and spices, a soothing aroma.

We order our drinks and slide in a booth towards the back.

"So, tell me what happened. I just knew that guy was crazy! And on your first day too! Gosh, how terrible." Carter leans forward expectantly with her head propped up by her arms, and wearing a concerned expression.

I take a deep breath.

"Well, I had to sit in front of him during class and everything was perfectly fine until the last five minutes. I thought I had survived my first day, and I was so relieved. But the next thing I know I'm being grabbed and shoved head first into a wall. Hurt like hell, too." I breathe out.

Her eyes grow big as she parts her lips-astonishment filling her eyes.

"Well f.uck, that's absolutely horrific! I'm so sorry. Really, I am. I couldn't bear being harassed by some..." She pauses and pulls at a lock of black hair, looking for the right word.

"Insane kid." She twists her face up with repulsion.
I remain emotionless, smiling at her with closed lips.

"Yeah." I look down, sipping my coffee.

No matter what people say, I'm not at all afraid or mad at Harry. In fact I'm the opposite; very concerned and oddly fascinated by him. He's been consuming my thoughts all day, he's so... interesting. His brown, shiny curls pushed back by a bandana to show his flawless face. The way he looked at me with disbelief when he realized what had happened, his eyes crying out for help from someone-anyone. His vulnerability was palpable, and I can't stop thinking about it.

"Trinity?" Carter pulls me out of my thoughts and reality settles in.

"Sorry, what?"

"I was asking... why you moved here?"

"Oh, um my dad lives here, and my mom lives in Nevada so I switch houses every few years." I lie.
I don't want to tell her about my drug-addicted life, the actual reason why I had to move. If I relapse, I cannot risk ruining my life here.

She nods in understanding.

.
.
.

I lay in my bed unable to fall in sleep. Harry won't leave my mind. I'm determined to figure out why he is who he is; so broken. I know the look in his eyes; I've experienced it firsthand. It's the look of need, or sorrow. Maybe regret?

A moment passes and my dad comes to mind. It seems like he's not even trying to improve our relationship. And I know I haven't been trying either, but at least I've kept my smart-ass comments to myself. But who cares, I don't need him. I am hopeful that tomorrow will go by smoother and that Harry will behave himself better. Isaac said that it happens a few times each month. Maybe I just got unlucky and today was one of those days. His wild, psychotic days. Of course I'm the one to get caught in his crossfire. But story of my life.