FALLING

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The sound of pitter-patter from the rain trickles down the window as I begin to flutter my eyes open. I swear the smile I fell asleep with last night is still permanently glued to my face. I roll over and stretch my arm across the bed, reaching for Liam, when all I feel is the empty coldness of my bedsheets. My eyes burst open, taking in my surroundings and the empty spot that lays next to me on the bed.

"Don't panic Sam, I'm sure he is probably chatting it up with Oscar somewhere," I say to myself as I begin to throw on last night's clothes.

Walking into the kitchen I see Oscar hovering over the coffee pot, alone.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the amazing sex goddess gracing us with her presence," Oscar smirks at me as he glances over his shoulder. "You were one loud chica last night. Damn, that must have been some good ass sex the way you were screaming. I'm a little jelly."

"Hey, have you seen Liam this morning?" I ask him.

"Seen him? No, I thought he was still deliciously laid out naked on your bed." He says confused, as I scrunch up my face and begin breathing heavily. "Don't tell me he hit it and left Sam?" He says beginning to get angry.

I look out over the apartment, I guess looking for some sort of sign that Liam just ran out real quick, maybe for some coffee and pastries.

"Damn it Sam! I swear the next time I see that asshole I'm going to kick his ass!" Oscar yells in frustration as he slams his coffee mug down on the counter between us. "I'm sorry baby girl, I shouldn't have yelled." He says solemnly after taking in a deep breath.

I feel the anger mixed with sadness take over me. How could I be so stupid, how could I trust him? I should have known nothing had changed between us, I mean for God's sake I didn't even think twice about the fact he was with Brigitte.

"Come here baby girl," Oscar says wrapping me in his arms. "What can I do, do you want me to go and beat his ass? I'll hop on a plane right now to London if that's what you want."

I can't help but chuckle over my dear friend. "No, I'll be fine. It's my fault anyway I shouldn't have expected things to be different just because he showed up at my door, drunk I might add." I tell him hugging him even harder.

"You sure?" He asks one more time looking seriously into my eyes.

"Yeah," I say pulling away from our embrace. "I'm going to go shower," I say walking away from him and the worried expression he holds.

After washing off the memory of last night, and maybe shedding one too many tears under the hot water, I decide I need to wash my sheets as well. Remove every trace of him.

That's when I notice the white piece of paper folded under the pillow. I carefully pick it up looking at my name printed across the paper in Liam's impeccable handwriting. I know full well that whatever he has written in this letter I'm not going to like.

Here I am in a bathrobe sitting cross-legged on my half unmade bed while time ticks by. I've been sitting here like this for what seems like an hour, although I know that it could not have been more than ten minutes at the most. The butterflies have been swirling around in my stomach, anxious to know what he had to say, but too scared to actually read it.

That's when I realize I know what I have to do. "Oscar!" I yell through the crack in my door. I hear his panicked footsteps before I actually see him.

"What, what's wrong?" He says anxiously.

"I found this," I tell him as I open the door wider for him to come in.

He arches his brow at me, "You found a white piece of paper?" He questions.

"No, it's a letter from Liam. I found it under the pillow." I huff out plopping back down onto the mess of a bed.

"Oh, well what does it say?" He says scratching his head nervously as he comes to sit down beside me.

"I'm too afraid to open it. Will you read it for me, please?" I ask unable to make eye contact with him.

"You sure baby girl, this might be private?"

"Whatever is in that letter I would have told you about anyways. Please Oscar, I just can't bring myself to do it." I beg.

"Absolutely, don't worry about it baby girl I got you." He says as he rubs small circles on my back.

I watch as Oscar opens up the letter and scans it before he begins speaking.

Sam,
I'm sorry that you had to wake up alone this morning, I know this is probably not the best way to say goodbye, a bloody piece of paper, but this is the only way I could bring myself to say this, and believe me, Sam, I need to say this.
I still remember the first time I saw you. You came into my life like a raging fire, uncontrollable, unstoppable is how I felt after that first day. You were all I thought about day and night. I tried so hard to forget about you, but something about you kept pulling me in.
I won't lie, it got a whole lot easier back home in London. I was back to my normal life, my normal routine and I drowned myself in women so that I could forget you. I knew how important this movie was going to be for both of us, so I needed to forget you, Sam.
I thought I had it under control until I saw you again. Just like before that fire raged and I was captivated by you once again, my mind, my thoughts, you consumed everything.
I won't bother to go into detail about Brigitte, everything you know is the truth. I know that makes me arse for what I put you through, but believe me, when I tell you I did it because I was overly consumed by you, I needed a way for you to hate me, the last thing I wanted was to hurt you more than I already had.
I meant it when I said I don't do relationships, that is never going to change Sam. I knew from that first day that you Sam are a woman to keep forever. I knew you needed a real relationship something I could not give you and I knew I needed to stay away from you.
I cannot explain the reasoning as to why I'm the way that I am, but I want you to know that everything with you was real, I've never felt the way I feel for you Sam for anyone else...ever. If there was someone who I would have a relationship with... you would have been it.
Please know that I am doing this to protect you from me. Please know this is for your best interest.
I promise you, you will never hear from me again. I've already done the honors of deleting myself from your phone. I will not be going on the promotional tour, or the opening of the movie. I have already made this clear to the crew.
Live your life Sam and please forget about me. You are an amazing actress, and I know you will do wonders in your career.
The last thing I want to say is Thank you. Thank you Sam for giving me the time we did have together, for showing me what it could be like, and for opening my eyes to something I never knew could be possible.
Maybe one day in the future we will again run into each other, maybe one day you will understand what it is I cannot tell you. but until then please do not try to contact me, please forget me, Sam, just as I will forget you.
-Liam

ᗯEᒪᒪ TᕼEᖇE IT Iᔕ. OᑎᒪY OᑎE ᗰOᖇE ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ ᒪEᖴT ᗷEᖴOᖇE TᕼIᔕ ᗷOOK ᑕOᗰEᔕ TO ᗩᑎ Eᑎᗪ. I ᕼOᑭE YOᑌ ᗩᒪᒪ EᑎᒍOYEᗪ TᕼIᔕ ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ, ᗯᕼᗩT ᗩᖇE Oᑌᖇ TᕼOᑌGᕼTᔕ Oᑎ ᒪIᗩᗰ'ᔕ ᒪETTEᖇ? Iᗪ ᒪOᐯEᗪ TO ᕼEᗩᖇ YOᑌᖇ IᗪEᗩᔕ.
ᑌᑎTIᒪᒪ ᑎE᙭T TIᗰE, ᕼᗩᑭᑭY ᖇEᗩᗪIᑎG!
-ᔕOᑌTᕼEᖇᑎᗷOᕼOᗰᗩᗰᗩ