A FRONTLINER'S CHRONICLE

The unknown enemy

     Covid-19 pandemic is taking its toll on me. My well-tended raven hair turned salt-and-pepper in a short span of time. My calm and lively disposition seemed ages away that even the shrill siren of an ambulance leaves me out of sync as to what it means to be hearing that sound. A simple cough or sneeze of one family member drives me haywire in panic. At the state I find myself in nowadays, I think I'm not alone to be in this frame of mind.

    What's the worst thing that can happen? A big question that pops-up every now and then as the battle against the unknown continues. I can't help it but it really saddens me especially while riding in my shuttle service , close to tears as I look out the window when the rest of the world is in quarantine, my thoughts often wander as we pass by the once noisy streets. A kind of silent apprehension as a sinister atmosphere like an omen lurking in every corner as we travel from town to town . A dark ominous cloud that hides and sets to pounce like a predator to its prey.

    With all the ups and downs that I had to conquer in my whole life, I was led to believe that I'm quite a brave person. But this time, I try the hardest to overcome this undefined feeling of dread so that when I'm around with family I could actually pretend that everything is fine.

It occurred to me that the core of my fear is not just the possibility of being afflicted but the thought that I could bring home the dreaded virus due to the nature of my work thereby putting the well-being  of my family at stake. For the most part, I barely managed to conceal this dilemma because worrying and sleepless nights is not that easy to hide .  Day in and day out I rustle up armed with feigned courage to carry on.

What then? Of course it is understandable to be wary and cautious with things we don't know of but this is not the time to entertain such fear. No matter how harrowing my thoughts are I still think of my oath to serve the many, an oath I need to fulfil. So I reluctantly packed my things and left my home just for the time being to focus on my role in this battle.

With each passing day away from family...