In The Dawn - Cedric & Sarah

Chapter 6

It had been a long day and Sarah had just dropped me near where I stay. It took me not less than ten minutes to walk to my place (where I was renting).
     I went to my room, which was at the backyard of a huge beautiful house that belonged to Mrs Van Tonder, my widowed landlord who was desperately in need of a company to help her avoid the absence of her beloved husband who died of a chronic disease. With her family not around, she let me stay in the backyard to keep her company and to help around with gardening. Mrs Van Tonder seemed to have loved her husband so much, and sometimes she allowed me to fit in his clothes. She would go into details about her marriage with her late husband whenever I was helping around in the garden – during weekends. Her house was nothing compared to the houses I saw today or Sarah’s, but it surely was very pleasing to dwell in. When I got to my room, I opened the door and I was greeted by a dirty shirt lying on the floor. I picked it up and threw it away from my sight. If I had a wife, I would come to a clean place everyday, but who wishes for a wife when I can hardly take care of myself? Women are a responsibility and they need maintenance - something I cannot provide. I threw myself to bed and reminisced of my day. For a good part of my day, it had been a good one. I never knew there was such beauty that resided in my country - the one that ignites the soul and color the eyes. It reminded me that I had goals I needed to fulfil. Goals to see my mother having a house of her own in one of those areas. But besides the good part of my day, I had endured my day with buckets of insults that had been thrown at me whilst I was at the restaurant with Sarah. They made me feel less of a human. It’s much simple to endure a silent hate than an expressed hate. No matter how arrogant you think you are, but if a man you fear shows you how much he hates you, your heart will not take it quite well. It made me realize how far the road to equity and peace was. I realized that it was not only economic and mere social differences that put us apart as races but the fear and hatred. I believe it is because of their forefathers who sought power than understanding which led to where we are today. Our race was never given a chance to prove its worth and ability and for that they feared to see it, so they made ways for which they can oppress us and make us feel unworthy of ourselves and the world at large. Oppression is a powerful tool that can break systems apart. It can cause chaos and can hinder abilities, and for that they saw it fit to divide us. They caused a good chaos amongst ourselves as a black race, that we had to live and compete against each other to their content to better our lives, just as I am right now – having to sell my mother into labour and abandoning my people in order to live better in a white community.

   I TRIED TO FORGET the gloom and oppression my race was going through by reminding myself of the breath-taking, soul-snatching beauty I saw – houses of which you would mistaken for a king’s palace or rather Jesus’ dwelling himself. I never for once thought my own country could have places as those, where heaven could easily be mistaken for.
      I remembered I have a mother I haven’t spoken to for a while so I put her boss’s telephone on the dial. Of all the population in South Africa, it was only the whites and very few black folks who had telephones in their homes. After one ring, the phone was picked.
     “Greetings ma’am, it is Cedric, may I please speak to Mrs Nxumalo?” I said with a phone on my ear.
     “It is me my son. Has it been that long that you also forgot my voice?” My mother answered me with a very funny but quite interesting question. I mistaken her voice for her madam, who usually was the one to answer my calls.
     “The voice sounded vibrant and young that I mistaken it for anybody but you.” I chuckled. “It appears to me that they are treating you good, are they? And… How are you doing?” I asked.
     “I am doing well, and yes, they are treating me fine. I wish to see you by weekend.”
     “I’m at the moment busy with work mother, but I’ll see to it that I visit you by fourteen sun rise.” I promised.
My mother and I shared the mother-son conversation before we said our goodbyes. I missed speaking to her. I missed hearing her voice. Her voice gave me a hope that everything shall be well. She had that amusement that helped me forget what pained me. I reminisced of all the memories I have shared with her. How she always forced me to listen to the story of how her and my father met. At first, I never enjoyed the story but later I loved it because it was the only memory I had of my father. She always reminded me that my father was a man of fate who believed in a change of a better South Africa. I was told my father was respected for his integrity by fellow men. He became a husband at a very late stage, for his youth days he was out in the streets fighting.
Although I have little of my father’s memory, but I know him to be a great man. My mother always told me that my stubbornness is born of his.
   I also remembered that I have got a family that I left in my town, Sharpeville. Family I haven’t spoken to in a very long time. I dialled Uncle Josiah’s number and he answered after two rings.
     “Hello.” he said over the phone.
     “Uncle, it’s Cedric.” I said while seating on my single bed.
     “Your voice tells me. It must be raining that side to receive a call from you. How are you holding up?” said he.
     “I’m still keeping it together. Nothing to worry about for now.” I said.
     “Are they treating you well?” he asked.
     “I can’t complain. It’s nothing I cannot handle... and that side, how are things?” I exchanged the question.
     “We are okay, except Joshua was arrested, few days back.”
     “For what reason?” I asked in shock.
     “He was found alone at night and they claim he was holding a weapon.”
     “A gun?”
     “No, a knife.”
     “Do you believe them?” I asked worriedly. (Joshua is my uncle who paid for my fees)
     “It’s hard not to. Lately he was acting strange and I could see the anger in him. He has been pushing us away.” Uncle Josiah sounded with a worried voice.
     “Why was I not told about this?” I asked.
     “I thought you abandoned us. You left us for them and how do you still expect us to inform you of what happens here?”
     “I am here for work not for pleasure. And I still carry your blood.”
     “You may have our blood but you have their mind. I believe you do not think like us now. I believe you do not see our struggle anymore. I believe you side with them now.” He said.
     “I do not side with them uncle. I am of my people. I fight for my color.”
     “A zebra in lion’s territory unharmed is a friend to the lions.”
     “Trust me, I am for blacks and alone blacks. Lately I have been working on something with Sarah for apartheid. It is something that will help us raise our voices and make them heard. This will bring change.” I said confident.
     “Who is Sarah?” my uncle asked. [OMG! Who is Sarah?]
     “Sarah is a… she is… I know her.” I said not knowing how to label my relationship with her. And worse, who is Sarah to them? If I tell him she is my friend then I will be backing his claim that if I’m not an enemy to whites, then I’m a friend. To be quite honest, Sarah wasn’t my friend either. She was just someone I’m helping with a research and that’s all.
     “I thought you said you were only there for work not for pleasure.” He reminded.
     “Yes, but this is something that will help us as black people. She promised me.”
     “And you believed her?”
     “I trust her.”
     “Hm. Is she white?” he asked.
     “With brains, yes.” I answered.
     “What do you know about trust? Do you know it’s trust that got us into this situation we are facing today. Our forefathers trusted white people, now look at the outcome of that trust. Do you honestly think she will just betray her own people for a mere black man? Stop being a fool Cedric. I always knew you are stupid but I didn’t think it was this high.”
     “She assured me it is a good thing and she really seems trustworthy.” I said defending Sarah. I didn’t know much about Sarah but she has proven to me that she wants the similar change we are all seeking. She has spoken so well of my people and I have every reason to trust her. A man is to be judged of his own sins not his father’s.
     “You are too quick to forget where you come from. You spend years that side and you think they love you.”
     “I never said they love me, I said she’s helping me. Don’t twist my words Uncle please.”