In The Dawn - Cedric & Sarah

Chapter 9

Bab’Khumalo is a man I met at school and having him around has left a piece of him in me. He is a man I called my friend when nobody was there for me. He never got tired of me. He never got tired of listening to my problems. He treated me like his own son.
     After the encounter with Thandeka, I had to tell my family and Sarah to inform them the tragic news I had just received, and they were all there to comfort me. To give me support. Amongst them, it’s only Sarah who knew Bab’Khumalo and how much we were always together. She has seen us several times together.
   Sobbing scratched the part of my brain that allowed my thoughts to overflow. I remembered the place I used to go to as a child whenever my soul wasn’t okay. It is the place I felt comfort and at peace. When I lost Thembelihle, my death-stolen lover, there was a place that helped me deal with pain. It was a place not far from home. A simple walk was enough.
     “I wish to be alone.” I said and I excused myself in the house and I headed to the north of my house with my brain battling to accept Bab’Khumalo’s illness. I had just been with him not long ago and there, misfortunes rose in his disfavour. As I walked listening to my thoughts, I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back and I saw Sarah running towards me. I increased my pace and she doubled hers. When I realized she wasn’t planning to stop, I paused my legs waiting for her to reach my distance.
     “Where are you going?” she asked with a light heavy breath.
     “I need to be alone Sarah.” I said and continued to walk.
     “It’s late to go anywhere now, Ced. Wait for the dawn.” She said walking beside me.
     “I wish to be left alone.” I said and paused my footsteps.
     “Wherever you go, let me walk with you. It’s much safer when we’re together this time. It’s dark.” She said.
     “I still have my eyes. I can see it is dark Sarah.” I said with my footsteps still in pause.
It’s not like I needed her protection but her company has always been great to me and for a change, maybe she could be my companion, so I agreed to walk with her.
We walked together in silence until we reached my favourite place. It was a small river which was In between the beautiful ridge that brought beauty to our land. The green filter from trees attracted the eye even more. It was the place I felt the presence of nature. The wind moved different. The wind whistled the tone of comfort. The atmosphere was peaceful and gentle. Sarah and I seated in a position where our legs swung from the edge of the ridge. Our eyes went down to the river that flowed from North to South. The water was clear enough to see beneath the surface of the earth. The sound of the river flow brushed my heart in comfort. The cold breezing wind blessed my mind with fruitful thoughts. I was carried by the wind. We sat quietly for minutes and I broke the silence. 
     “You think it’s weird?” I asked without my face meeting hers. My eyes were still focused to the smooth flow of a river that entangled my thoughts with every nature that surrounded by it. I pursued my own course and gave way to my own miserable reflections. Coming here as a child, I used to share my thoughts and problems with trees, rocks and water without saying a word. I know they listened to me because everytime I left I felt comfort and gentleness in my heart. I would sit in silence and let the cold wind clean my thoughts. The silence brought me light emotions and peace. The songs of bird singing in the sky were music to my ears.
     “Not at all. I love the silence.” She replied after a while, still feeling the touch of a beautiful air.
I looked at her for nearly three seconds and I looked up.
     “The stars.” I said and she first looked at me and looked up.
     “They are always there but we do not have interest to them. This is the only place where I get to see them all.” My eyes continued to look up the beautiful sky that was surrounded by bright stars. The stars formed a triangle around us with the moon centre to our faces. With every word I uttered, the stars changed its formation to form a perfect imagination.
Sarah looked down at me and up again.
     “It’s beautiful.” She said.
     “Indeed.”
She looked up the sky for few seconds and she focused her eyes on me.
     “How did you discover this place?” she asked with the sound of her voice making a soft classic music in my ears. I could only hear her words accompanied by a soft piano strings.
     “One day, I was a silly young boy. Every time I did something wrong my mother would take me here. She would drag me here and I would wet the soil with my tears. I would cry for mercy. I would let out my cry heard by gods in heaven. She saw this as a way to punish me. She’d always threaten to call the fishes since she knew how afraid I was of them. As a child I’d cry and beg her not to call them. She’d always find satisfaction that she tortured me. She used to do this every time I do anything wrong until one day I realized that there are no fishes dwelleth here. It is just water flowing and never stops. To give my mother the satisfaction she needed, I did not tell her that I knew the fishes do not exist in this river. So everytime she took me here, she’d see it as a torture and punishment but I saw it as fun and entertainment. When days went by, my mother got her first job as a cleaner. It was through her friend that passed the job alert about a white woman looking for a cleaner. My mother accepted the job even though it was a sleep over job. She was growing in debts after my father was exiled. She didn’t have a choice, so she accepted. When she started the job, I began coming here by myself. Being here was the only funniest memory I had with my mother. She played with me unaware. She gave me joy in a way that it still lives in me. When she was gone, I took this place as my second home. Every time I think of her, I’d come here to reflect and recollect our memories together. My mother’s memory lives here when she’s not around.” I said and stopped.
     “Do you miss her?” she asked with her beautiful blue eyes focused on my dark face.
     “Every minute of my life.” I said looking at her and she looked away.
     “I’m sure she knows how much you miss her. She sounds like a good mother.” She said with her eyes focused down the river.
We paused and admired the flow of the river. Sarah lay on her back and I joined her. We both looked up the sky with admiration of nature – the moon and the stars that were covering the earth that we live in.
     “I wish my life was as simple as yours.” She paused and continued, “When I walked around the area with Anita, I was met with this guy who wanted to take us to a dance battle. I wish I had gone with him.” She added.
     “Don’t tell me you are a dancer.” I said with a smile on my face.
     “You don’t believe? Can I show you?” she said with a smile.
     “It wouldn’t kill to watch you break your bones would it not?” I said and she stood up. My body was still lying flat on the ground and I just tilted my head up in her direction. “If you break your bones, I shall leave you here by yourself.” I laughed and she laughed back. Sarah tied her brown hair and she walked back where she could have enough space for herself and she began dancing. I watched her move her hips and body in a most amazing way. It was actually my first time seeing a woman dance in that style. My mouth opened wide in surprise. Truthful, I did not expect to see her killer dance moves. I expected the typical dance moves I always seen in girls from my township. She gave me something I wasn’t expecting.
WHEN she was done showing me her dance moves, she came back to lay beside me. I could conclude from the sound of her breath that she was exhausted.
I waited for her to catch her breath before I could compliment her. I didn’t want a single word of my compliment to get past her ears.
     “You remind me of myself when I was a boy. I used to be a good dancer just like you.” I shared my compliment.
     “You lie.” She said laughing.
     “Okay you got me, I am a bad dancer. You are far better than I am. You are such a great dancer.” I said and she smiled. “Who taught you how to dance?”
     “My late friend. If you say I am good, then she is perfect.”
     “She must’ve taught you well. You must teach me too.” I smiled.
     “I wouldn’t want to be held responsible if you break your bones.” She said and we both shared a long laugh.
      “I wish I could be happy like you for once in my life.” She said after our long laugh, “I do not want to wake up sad each day of my life. I do not want to wake up with worries. I wish I could go back in time and fix my past mistakes.” She continued.
     “Aren’t you happy right now?”
     “Happy is a word I haven’t used in ages. Marrying at a young age was never something I dreamt of. After three years of my marriage, and yet nothing seems to excite me. With him, it’s always work, work and work. I had dreamt my husband to be the most loving person and a man who’d always have time for me but… it’s like I wished for the opposite.” She said with a soft voice. I held her hand and she looked at me.
     “You can still leave him if you are unhappy Sarah.” I said looking at her.
     “It’s not that simple. I cannot leave him. He is the only man I ever know. I could not be without him. He is… he’s just a man. He may not been the best husband recently but he was the best partner once. I have learnt to live with him. I have learnt to be around him. I have learnt to love him and I do not see myself with another man.” She said looking up.
     “So you’d rather live the memories of your marriage?”
     “No. I believe one day he will change. I know he will change.” She said trying to convince herself. Truth is, a man does not change because he is with you, he change because he is without you. He will not change because of you, but he will change because of him. Hoping for a man to change his ways is like throwing a stone in the ocean and hope for it to come back. You cannot change a person for what they are. You simply learn and understand who they are. If you are still living in hope that your husband will change, you will only hurt yourself in the end because he may not change, or he will change for few days and go back to his old self.
     “What’s the use of him changing when you know he’ll still go back to his old self?” I asked and squeezed her hand. “Hey look, there are good men out there. Men who will do everything to see you happy. A man who will treat you like it’s the first time they meet you. A man who will make you feel like a princess that you are.” I said with my other hand brushing her check. “You once told me that money is not happiness but right now it seems to me you have chosen money over your own happiness.” I added.
     “It is not money I am settling for, it’s security and a man to grow old with. I don’t want to be old and be without a man.” She paused for a moment with her eyes still up and she continued “It is not easy.”
     “You are still young Sarah. At your age you can still get any man you want. I know it is not easy but it’s possible. We take risks in life for what’s best for us, so take a leap of faith into changing your current direction in life.”
     “I am not ready to start a new life with somebody else Cedric.  Marriage needs patience and I will be patient for my husband. Happiness alone cannot grow a family, as you once mentioned. I want to have a family with my husband. A family of which will give me reasons to wake up in the morning. Right now he is busy but I know when I give him a child, he will have time for us.” She said giving herself empty hope. It pained me to see her in that state. I know Sarah to be a wise woman but she couldn’t be wise for love. Hearing the change in her voice pained me. She spoke in a broken voice and I knew she was empty inside.
Without saying anything, I ROLLED my eyes to her and hers to mine – and our eyes met. I pushed my body to her side. My face was one centimetre away to her face. I smelled her watery perfume, like so many rose petals on the surface of a bubble bath. I looked at Sarah closer to my face and for the first time, I saw the beauty I’ve never seen in her before. I saw her blue eyes flashing right in front of mine. Her eyes were in front of me and I could not help but fall in love with them. My body heated when I heard the sound of her breath as it pushed my hair nose off. I looked at her lips and they were gorgeously eye taking. She had coloured them in pink. I could only imagine the sound of our lips clashing together to form the best sound of a kiss the universe could only wish to hear. With my body still closer to hers, I pushed her long brownish hair down and my hand grabbed her neck gently. I couldn’t imagine anyone else in my arms.
     “What are you doing?” she asked nervously.
I said nothing but dipped my lips unto hers and I felt the surge of electricity between our lips. I expected her to push me back but she instead kissed back. We shared an intimate kiss I have been longing to have. All I could taste was roses, tequila, and sweet as they rolled over each other. I pulled her dress off and my free hand made its way down her body. I moved my body on top of hers and I continued to kiss her. I drew my face back to look at her just to confirm if it was not a dream I was envisioning, and by god’s grace it wasn’t. I continued to kiss her and my face left her lips to her chest. I ran my tongue on her chest she breathed heavily. My tongue ran from her chest past to her breast and down her belly with her voice growing strong in moan. My tongue played around her belly and she swift her body in a position that allowed me to move down. The sound of her moan pressed down my energy button and it took me less than a minute to have her dress and panty removed, luckily she didn’t have a bra on. It would have been a long job to have it removed by a minute of impact. I wrestled to remove my belt from my black jeans while her hands helped in removing my T-shirt. I felt my own shirt slide off. I dished her vagina with my penis and she screamed harder as it pressed in. Her hands grabbed my back and she held on tight. I continued to move my body forward and backward with the pace increasing slowly. During that moment, I could not help but fall in love with her scent and how able she moved her hips. She swift her body in a way I enjoyed her whole inside. I hit it from back-to-front-and-sides. She held on tight to me when I increased my pace with the strings of music playing in my head. I could only hear the slow beat of a song and her rough moan flowing perfectly together. Lyrics would be (Ahhh and Ohh), with the sound of our body clashing together to produce the best sound a song could ever have. Her long brownish hair served a greater use when I held them from behind; with my body behind hers. I pulled her hair to my almost chest as I moved in-and-out. Her face kissed the ground, giving me heaven to all by myself. Our moment did not last to twenty-minutes or more because the tension between our body and the friction between our intimacy was strong and boiling. I did all I could to make sure she is satisfied by all means. The moon was there watching us and it would attest to it how fast I went for her. The faster I went, the more I heard the sound of her moan as my penis dipped further into the core surface of her warm jelly vagina. After what I call the best moment of my life, my body froze intensely inside her and eventually I was able to pull out. I pulled out my manhood from her vagina and it vomited raw seeds of a baby to the ground and it also splashed some to part of her backbone. I removed the remaining seeds of my unborn child on her back with her dress.
     “Come on Cedric, not with my dress.” She contested with her voice down which reminded me of the Sarah I was humping just few moments ago. My manhood heard the sound of her sweet voice and it reacted accordingly. It went from water to ice. It wanted more but the garage was closed for it to enter. Sarah lay on her back facing up and I joined her.
   The sound of our breath pushed away everything light in weight that surrounded us. We both exhaled. I looked up the sky and I could see the stars smiling at me like you’ve made us proud young man. Humping a white woman is a dream every black man in my village wished to have. I looked at my wrist watch and it was seven minutes to eleven GMT. I turned my eyes to Sarah and she was still looking up the stars and moon. I saw a regret look on her face. We both least expected anything to happen but we both enjoyed it, so I thought. I know what we did was wrong but who cares for wrongs if you enjoy? She was probably regretting sleeping with me, I suppose. Maybe having sex with me she considered it a curse since I was black. Well, it is a curse. Where have you ever seen a broke black man in a white woman’s skirt? It is only when you have money that they see your existence. What has Sarah done with a man like me? After we humped, I suppose my feelings for her strengthened, but to hell with them. Who am I to have her? I am not worthy of her. She’ a pure gold that needs money to be maintained.
     Other than breaking her vows by sleeping with a black man, she has also committed adultery and fornication by sleeping around. She has betrayed her husband whom she never wanted to leave. Hopefully, if she enjoyed our sex, she will consider leaving her husband for me. I have given her something great – something a black man can only offer best than a white man. I could take care of her needs better than her husband. I could always be there for her, emotionally and mentally. I am a man for her, why can’t she see it? Wait, let me go back to reality. Where will she stay if she decides to leave her husband for me? How will I support her now that I don’t have a job anymore? I don’t think I afforded her even way before I was still a teacher, and now, who am I to have a girl like Sarah. I pushed back my thoughts and I gathered my breath. I looked at her and her face was still facing up.
     “So, what’s next?” I asked.
     “What do you mean?” she asked sounding confused. My question confused me too. What was I really asking? What’s next in regard to what?
     “What are you going to do?” I asked. My question was strange and dumb and I blame my brain for not fixing it.
     “I think we should get going.” She said grabbing her clothes.
     “To?” I asked trying to understand where we was to go – my place or her place (Leaves for her place.)
     “I will leave first thing in the morning. It is late for me to drive.” She said wearing her dress.
     “What will you tell your husband?” I asked stupidly.
     “Nothing. Do you think I will tell him that I was humping with a man who’s been helping me with my assignment?” she said finish wearing her her dress.
     “No, not that.” I said and continued, “I was asking what you will say to him when he asks you where you were when you go back home tomorrow?”
     “I do not know yet. I’ll think of something overnight. I have friends, so I’ll use one of them.” She said. We went quiet and I watched her fixing her dress. There was so much I could say to her, like how much I enjoyed our humping but I didn’t think it was a good time to boast about it, so instead I kept my feelings inside. Her eyes kept away from me and I realized it was the time to apologize for what I have just made her do.
     “I am sorry.” I sincerely apologized.
     “You do not have to apologize. Sex is an act of two people.” She said fixing her hair and she continued, “I know this sounds crazy but I needed this.” She said.
     “Huh!” I exclaimed in shock. This was the only word I could say after hearing such warm words coming from her mouth that lifted up my soul.
     “I haven’t had proper sex in a long time. My husband hardly looks at me. The last time we had sex passionately was when he got a promotion at work which was three months ago. What I did was wrong but it is something I needed and I won’t feel bad for it, at least not now.” She said looking at me and looked away again.
     “So does this mean you will leave your husband?” I asked with a light face. Her words had given me hope that the feelings for her husband were gone, (so why not take the chance?)
     “No, I will never do such a thing. I love him to lose.” She said.
     “If you love him, why do you feel forced to him? Do you think it is healthy to live without happiness?” I asked.
     “Are you questioning my love for my husband? What do you know about happiness?” she asked and continued, “When was the last you experienced the happiness you boast about?”
     “It’s been a while.” I responded.
     “Exactly. Why can’t you change your life if you are not happy about it instead of telling others how they should seek happiness.” She said.
     “I am not telling you what you should do and not do. I am simply underlining the basic needs of life – your happiness. Either way it’s only you who knows your heart desires. Let your heart guide you.” I said trying to get her to open up.
Before she could reply, she stopped everything she was doing and focused her eyes on me and she spoke. “But you know a heart makes irrational decisions.”
      “Then guide your heart accompanied by your brain.” I responded.
     “Honestly speaking, right now my mind is all over the place. I cannot think thoroughly. My heart and brain are battling each other in what I should do next. One moment I want to be happy and next moment I want my husband next to me.  Everything is just… beyond me.” She said and sits down next to me.
     “I understand.” I replied in short.
Although I wanted Sarah to quit her marriage but I wasn’t going to make it obvious to her. Sarah paused for few seconds and she spoke.
     “What have I done Cedric? What is this that I have done?” She asked with her hands on the head.
I said no word. I just shut my mouth to listen to her.
     “Do you have feelings for me Cedric?” she asked looking at me with her beautiful charming eyes, and yet with a worried voice.
     “What?” I froze. Did she really ask me if I have feelings for her? What must I say? Do I agree or disagree? Help me folks. If I say yes, then what is to happen? Will she leave her husband for me or will she see a weak man who can easily be controlled by sex? Am I that foolish to have feelings for a woman who’s beyond my standard? Let’s face it, our standard differs a lot. Factors of life are all against us. She’s white, I’m black. She comes from a rich family, I come from a poor family. She is rich, I am poor. She’s staying in a suburb, I am staying in a family house in a township. Even if I were to start a relationship with her, but the truth is, we wouldn’t last. It wouldn’t go anywhere. We both have different customs. It is less likely that you will see a rich man with a poor friend. No matter how much they try to fight for their friendship, but life factors will cause a drift between them. That’s a simple truth. We may try to convince ourselves that love has no levels but the truth remains. Love has standards. Tell me one rich woman who’s dating a poor guy. Tell me one rich man whose friend is poor. You may try to build something but one person will suffer in that friendship or relationship – the less fortunate one if you ask me. When you reach my age, you will understand that everything in the world is accumulated through standards. There’s no way you will see darkness where light is present. The only darkness that you will see is your shadow and places light could not reach.  So where would I stand with Sarah? Will my answer make any difference of what I want? I do want to be with her but my question is, will I ever be enough for her?
   And if I say no, what will she think about me? That I’m a man who used her for sex? That I’m a black man who seduced her. Will she still have value in me? Will she still respect me? I chocked in my thoughts.
     “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer that. I get you.” She said and continued, “I think we should get going.”
     “Yeah.” I said regretting not being honest with my feelings. As much as it wouldn’t make any difference, but I regretted not telling her how I feel. That I may have feelings for her.
I stood up to dress up. Sarah and I walked back to my house with great awkwardness between us. We did not exchange words like we used to until we got back home. I prepared her a place to sleep in my Aunt’s room and I went to sleep with my siblings. Over the night I visited the memory of my evening. My heart couldn’t help but rejoice in the events that took place. It took me hours to finally catch some sleep thinking, and thinking.
   THE NEXT MORNING I was woke by a sweet voice of beautiful Sarah who whispered my name. She still looked beautiful in her morning face. She entered my room without knocking, not that I minded. I would even wish she had found me naked, who knows, she might’ve developed a thrust to quench her thirst again.
     “I am my way out.” she whispered in my long ears. Her voice made me want to pull her to my bed and cuddle but a mistake never happens twice, unless intended.
     “Have you eaten? Bathed?” I asked, my face shrill.
     “Yes, I washed my face. Anita prepared water for me.” She replied.
     “Okay, you need to at least eat something. I will prepare you something.” I said and I quickly got up from my sponge and went to the basket that carried fruits. My family does not leave leftovers, so I offered to give her fruits instead. In other words I’m saying there was no food in the house.  I took out three bananas and two oranges and I handed them to her.
     “I think this will last you for the road.” I said.
She took them and she thanked me.
     “You know what, let’s go together. I have clothes left in Benslayer and I need them here.” I asked for a lift indirect.
     “You are to stay here forever?” she asked.
     “I don’t have a choice.” I replied.
     “Okay sure.”
I quickly washed my face while Sarah waits in her car. When I was done, Sarah and I drove to Benslayer, a place I needed not to be. After being fired from my job, I hated everything about the place. The weather, people, houses, trees, air – I hated every inch of it.
She drove as fast she could, trying to keep up the distance between the car and its shadow. Whilst Sarah and I shared the moment of awkwardness, I remembered I had Bab’Khumalo to visit and I asked Sarah drop me near Ogbrich hospital but instead she insisted she takes me there.
Along the way we tried to have small talks but everything felt awkward.
   When we reached the hospital, I got outside the car and Sarah did too and I looked at her, perplexed.
     “I cannot just leave without seeing the man.” She said blocking my surprise thoughts. I said nothing but left her to be.
We entered the hospital and the nurse led us to Bab’Khumalo’s ward. When we entered, his face was pleased to see us. We found him eating and the nurse that was with him excused herself.
     “I’m surprised to see you alive.” I said jokingly and pat him on the shoulder. Bab’Khumalo laughed softly and Sarah made her way to my spot.
     “Very funny.” Bab’Khumalo continued with a laugh.
Bab’Khumalo looked at me and I knew it was a question of what was Sarah doing with me and I answered before he could open his mouth to ask.
     “I was with Sarah doing her assignment and I asked her to accompany me.” I said trying to sell him my lie.
     “Oh, I see.” He said and looked at Sarah with a smile.
     “How are you young lady?” he greeted.
     “I am well good and what about you Sir?” she asked back, offering him fruits that I gave her earlier. She only ate one banana. “These are for you.” She added.
     “You came prepared I see. I am not dying though.” He said and we all laughed.
     “How are you holding up?” I asked.
     “Right now I feel much better unlike yesterday.”
     “I’m sorry I couldn’t come yesterday, I was in Sharpville.” I said.
     “You were in Sharpville?” he asked shocked. “Indeed God is wonderful.” He added.  “You have done me proud son. After spending so many years here and yet you found your way back home.” Bab’Khumalo said beating his chest with words.
     “I had to. My uncle is jailed and I needed to see him before the March.”
     “Oh yeah, I heard about the march. It is tomorrow right?”
“Yes.”
     “What March?” Sarah jumped in to ask.
     “Did I not tell you?”
     “If you did I wouldn’t ask.”
     “Well, it is a human rights march. My people are marching north. They feel a need to live like everyone so they are having a peaceful march.” I said to her.
     “I would like to be excused. Jon is probably worried about me right now.” Sarah put her hand on Bab’Khumalo’s left leg as a goodbye and she tapped me on my shoulder and left. I was then left with Bab’Khumalo alone.
     “Help me sit still.” Bab’Khumalo asked as his body gestured to sit.
I helped him sit up and I balanced his back with pillows.
     “Thank you.” He said and continued, “I see the way you look at her.”
     “Who? Sarah?” I asked.
     “Yes, Sarah. And she doesn’t seem like a person who slept at her house.”
     “Why do you say that?”
     “Her face tells me. She spent a night somewhere else, if not with you. Tell me the truth, were you together?” he asked.
     “Yes, we were together.” I answered honestly and sat down. Bab’Khumalo was a man I could be honest with. He was like a father to me, so opening up to him was simple. “We were together in Sharpville.” I added.
     “I see. She must be really fond of you to agree to travel with you to Sharpville.”
     “It was for her assignment that she came with me. I didn’t ask her.”
     “Do you have feelings for her?”
     “I hate to admit but I do have strong feelings for her.”
     “Have you considered being with her?”
     “As in dating?”
     “Yes.”
     “I have considered it but I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t meet her standards.”
     “You may be right... So what are you going to do?” he asked.
     “I don’t know. I don’t want to fight a losing a battle. It’s pointless to fight for a person I know I can’t have.”
     “A person may have standards but a heart does not have standards. If you win her heart fully, you shall win everything about her. Her soul, heart and body. You just need to show her why she must be with you.” He said and cleared his throat.
     “I don’t know. I thought you’d be mad at me.”
     “For what?” he asked.
     “Sarah.”
     “At first yes, but now I have learnt that we are all humans. We do not need to fight. We just need to make peace and put violence aside. We need to love one another. We need to work together.” He paused and continued, “You can still forget about her before you get yourself too attached if you do not wish to begin a relationship.”
     “It’s already impossible now... I am already attached to her. I slept with her.”
     “You slept with her?” he asked shocked.
     “Yes. You know, everything happened so fast. We were both caught up in the moment that we didn’t know what was right and wrong. It’s like someone planned the moment for us. And on top of that she’s married.”
     “Wow! You have really gotten yourself in something else Cedric. I really hope you did not ejaculate inside her?” Bab’Khumalo asked and my mind jumped back to that evening and I remembered.
     “No, I remember ejaculating outside.” I said confidently.
Let’s pause it there. What really happened back there? Was I even aware what I was doing? I don’t know what I would do had I cum inside her. It is better to mess up and leave no evidence. It is better for someone to suspect you of doing something wrong than to leave evidence lying around. Her pregnancy would be a proof that she committed adultery. What would her husband Jon do to me if it comes to that point? Knowing that I have entered his mine and took out a gold? He strikes me as a man who’d do anything to protect his family reputation and name. He strikes me as someone who would do anything to see his family in one piece, even if it means removing me from the face of the earth.
     “However, I feel like there was a moment where my body froze unto her body… but no, I managed to pull out in time.” I replied to Bab’Khumalo with my mind interpreting every word.
     “That’s better. I wouldn’t want to see you in a situation you have no way out.”
     “Yeah. The only thing I’m worried about is her. I will have to check up on her if she travelled safely.”