EEEEMMMMEEETTT!! (Twilight Humour)

Revenge part 2

Alice POV

Where is my credit card??? I swear I put it on my bedside table, but it seems to have been taken…I think… I didn't even see it coming!!! Ugh, blind spots are so frustrating! I had already asked Jasper if he needed it for an emergency, but I would know if there was an emergency. Either way, he told me it wasn't him, and I trust that.

Maybe Rose needed a quick trip to the Seattle mall… No, she has her own credit card. Esme and Carlisle wouldn't think of taking it without permission, though they, too, have their own. HA! I snorted when I thought of Bella as a suspect. Like she would need a credit card. She hates shopping… So weird… And Emmett had his own… Emmett. UGGH! Emmett I'm sure is behind this!! He was always one for the pranks…

Oh. Pranks. Duh Alice!! I thought to myself. We had just tortured Edward's ears. And now he probably took my credit card as revenge. Wow, how did I not see that coming!! Oh he was going to be very sorry with his decision… No one takes my credit card behind my back!!

I marched up the stairs, with the intent of kicking Edward's butt. But I heard heavy breathing coming from their room.

Oh God, do I want to know what they are doing?

I was going to knock before I went in, just in case… but I turned the corner and the door was open. Nice job, guys.

Their clothes were on, thank God. But they were in the middle of a very heated make-out session, and I felt rude for intruding. This was too funny to not watch though.

"Bella…" Edward gasped when they weren't tongue wrestling. But she ignored him and just went at it again. I was trying my hardest not to laugh as they would definitely be able to hear me. I would have expected Edward to hear my hysterical thoughts by then, but no, no. He was much too focused on Bella, Bella, Bella.

"ALICE!" Bella screeched. Oh, no. Edward's ferocious growl and death glare mixture came to me only a second before it really happened. I turned and sprinted down the stairs as fast as I could while giggling as I ran. Luckily, Bella had held Edward where he was so he couldn't pounce.

I made my way out the front door and into Jaspers confused arms. He pulled me back to look at me, quivering with laughter, and I immediately felt myself calm down.

"Thanks" I said when I could speak.

"What was all that?" He asked. I didn't need his special power to feel the curiosity and confusion in his voice.

"You know how my credit card went missing? Well I went to see if Edward took it, you know, because of the whole song prank, and he and Bella were having some time alone, and they caught me watching and laughing." I giggled again as I repeated this.

Jasper's face was horrified, and I realized why. "Just kissing!!! God, Jasper, I wouldn't watch that!"

He was immediately relieved, and I laughed, yet again, as his features changed. Oh, yeah, the credit card.

"I still don't know where my credit card is!" I yelled, exasperated. "Ugh!" I groaned as I let myself become limp and fall theatrically, over exaggerating it. Jasper's arms caught me just before I hit the ground.

I smiled at him. "Thank you, hero," I said as I pecked him on the cheek. If only he could find my credit card, he would be my superhero. Of course he already was, but I really needed that credit card!! Emmett is my only suspect, I am way over due for a shopping trip…

And then inspiration hit me. Oh, this would be good, I though mischievously.

Edward POV:

Leave it to Alice to ruin a beautiful moment! Well, then again, Emmett would have made it worse. But that doesn't give Alice the "OK" to watch us ever again.

Bella and I headed downstairs, and I could tell she knew I was still angry with Alice. I was. But I knew how much Bella hated it when we argued, so I would try to handle this nicely.

I heard, from outside, Alice explaining to Jasper what had happened. She said that she was looking for her credit card… Oh. That's why she came upstairs. I had thought it was just to spy on Bella and I, though I don't know why she would want to do that…This reason made more sense. I guess I was too distracted earlier to hear her thoughts…

Bella and I went out to the backyard, where Esme was, once again, working on her garden. Emmett was out in the distance, back to us, shoving something in his pocket and laughing.

Alice will be so annoyed! Ha! This is going to be hilarious!

Emmett was the one with Alice's credit card. Emmett dashed off into the trees with Alice's credit card in his pocket.

"Why did Alice happen to come into our room when we wanted privacy?" Bella asked.

"She was looking for her credit card, and she thought maybe I had taken it because of your little music show earlier today. And, we accidentally left the door wide open, so we can't really blame her for seeing… Just for staying and watching."

"Oh… I wonder who took her credit card… They better watch out, because you know how Alice gets when her money goes missing…"
Yes, I did know. This is not a first, and she would explode on the person who took it. Oh yeah, Emmett.

"Emmett took it. He was just stuffing it in his pocket, and he ran off into the woods…"

We went to go back inside and found Alice and Jasper entering from the other direction. Alice looked frustrated, but when she saw us, her face lit up and she giggled again, and a stream of apologies came from her mouth. Her mind however, was full of various teases like You too were all over each other!! and Dude, the phrase 'get a room' includes closing the door!! I shot her a fierce glare until the "Sorry's" came from her mind, too.

"Looking for something, Alice?" I questioned her.

"You took it, didn't you? Give it back. Now." She said. I had to laugh at her accusation.

"Alice, I didn't take it, but I have an idea of who might have," I said as I smiled innocently at her.

"Who took it?!?" She growled. I wasn't planning on telling her, but she looked so vicious that I decided Emmett was the one who deserved that rather than myself.

"Emmett did, and he dashed out into the forest. I don't know what he is going to do with it, though…"

 Alice was already out the back door and into the woods. A few seconds later, we heard Emmett scream at the top of his lungs and then yell, "OW! ALICE STOP! I'M SORRY! STOP!!ALICE!!"