thoughts into poems

23

First attempt,

With a knife to stab myself,

I failed to die because of a song

Playing next to my home.

Second and third attempt,

I tried to drink pills,

That will let me sleep forever.

But I failed because next to it

Is a book with the words of wisdom.

Fourth and fifth attempt,

On the road full of cars,

I tried to crossed the street on purpose

But again, I failed.

For the fear is still inside me,

Thoughts of sorrow and tears,

Of the ones who loves me,

And their life without me.

Sixth attempt,

I wish I'll success,

But I guess it's still not my time yet.

The last attempt,

I buried myself into sleep.

Using many blankets and pillows,

With no air for me to breathe.

A knock from the door stopped me,

It was her birthday and she's inviting me.

How ironic it is,

To die on someone's birthday,

I can't believe it.

I guess it's really not my time yet,

I can't help but to sarcastically laugh,

In those seven attempts, nothing killed me

Maybe I still have a reason to live,

I still have a mission to complete.