What Lies Ahead

Chapter Twenty-Six

Maksim pulled me towards the sofa, and I let him. I sank into the cushions as he sat on the coffee table, facing me. He kept my gaze for a long moment, his expression guarded.

"I want to start by apologizing for the way I handled the situation. I acted driven by rage and didn't think about how it would affect you. You should have never seen what you did. I told myself I would protect you from that part of my world, and failed."

"It's my fault, as well. I should have kept my distance from you," I lamented. "I knew the rumors surrounding you the moment I first set foot into your apartment building. I should have been more careful; instead, for some moronic reason, I let myself get involved with you beyond what should have been a strictly professional relationship. Matt even warned me about you – you'd think I would have known better."

The small twitch of a muscle in his jaw was the only sign that my words bothered him. "I don't want you to regret giving yourself to me. Tell me what I can do to fix this. I want you back."

"I don't know if I can, Maks." I hated how my voice shook with emotion, giving away everything I was feeling. "I can't just forget what I saw."

"I'm not asking you to forget," he said roughly. "I'm asking you for a chance to regain your trust."

"It's not about trust, because you still have mine. I trust you with my safety and my body. The problem is that I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at you with the same eyes again." I inhaled deeply and looked away for a second. "Can I live with myself knowing that I'm sharing a bed with someone who murders people? How much of a bad person being with you makes me?"

"My actions do not reflect on you. You have nothing to do with my world."

"I'm caught in it, am I not?"

His expression turned to stone. "I'm not letting you go."

"That's not your decision to make."

"Listen to me." He grabbed my thighs, pulling towards the edge of the sofa, closer to him. "Having you in my life puts me in a vulnerable position. I have many enemies, and some of them caught scent of you. They now know they can use you to get to me, and word will spread to others, if it hasn't already. I won't allow a repeat of that night." His hands inched higher on my thighs with a possessive touch. "You're mine, and there's nothing that will change that. I've invested too much to let you walk away."

For the first time in three weeks, heartache was replaced with white-hot anger. In a flash, my hand was flying from my lap and landing on his cheek with a loud smack. "You dragged me into this! I wanted nothing to do with you!"

Maksim didn't flinch or show any sign of discomfort from my sudden outburst. He took the hit as if he'd been expecting it. Then, in the next second, his hand was fisting my hair as the other grabbed my waist and hoisted me into his lap. "You want to hit me, lyubimaya?" he rasped against my mouth. His eyes darkened with lust and something more primal.

"Let me go." I tried to push against his chest, but he pulled me closer.

"Never." His mouth crashed down on mine, and before I knew it, I was on my back on the sofa with him pressed between my legs. His body's weight, his smell, the taste of his lips distracted me for a few seconds, before I managed to come back to my senses.

"Sex won't make me forget how easily you can pull a trigger," I breathed between his bruising kisses, pushing him away at the same time.

He stopped kissing me to look down at me with hard eyes. "You don't know this life. It's either kill or be killed. It's that fucking simple."

"You're right. I don't know your life, but I'm starting to learn it. And it's all because of you."

My words had the intended effect. With a rough noise in the back of his throat, he pushed off me and stood. He ran a hand through his hair, gripping the roots mercilessly. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't let you go. I won't let you go."