Crying

thirty one

*Daytime Realm* 

Not one member had even remembered Ten's theories with the commotion Taeil's death had caused. Everyone was mourning the loss of their members. They were too busy to notice Ten. 

Ten had a plan. He was going to save Taeyong. He had to somehow enter the Nightmare Realm to get to his love. Ten had named his dreamland the Nightmare Realm whereas the regular world was the Daytime Realm. He had planned out exactly what he wanted to do. In order to enter the Nightmare Realm, one must go to sleep. 

Going into a coma is exactly how Taeyong entered the realm. He was sleeping for eternity unless he woke up, Ten had realized. 

"Now I must sleep." Ten felt his heart sink in his chest. The only way was to also go into a coma. But how could he do that and ensure he wouldn't die? 

"I guess I'll take my chances..." 

Ten was determined to see Taeyong again. Not just in his nightmares but in real life. He was set on doing anything he could to see his love even if he died trying. 

And that was the night that Ten left the NCT dorms without any sign as to where he had gone and why he had left. 

☁️☁️☁️

While Ten ran around the streets of Seoul in order to meet his goal, Jaemin was slowly going insane. The shock of loosing his lover Jeno had broken him. He was no longer himself. 

Jaemin had done everything to try and calm himself but nothing had prevailed. He had gone into a severe depression and showed no signs of coming out anytime soon. He had began starving himself, not drinking water, crying everyday, and cutting himself. 

Worst of all, Jaemin shut everyone out. He didn't want any of the other members to see him in such an awful state. He didn't want to watch the happy couples of NCT whereas his and Jeno's was shattered into a million pieces. 

None of those actions would bring Jeno back though. 

One day finally Jaemin felt so weak from blood loss and dehydration he had to get something to soothe his drying throat. At two in the morning, Jaemin cautiously emerged from his room, practically crawling from his frailness. 

Jaemin had his knife in hand. 

If anyone came near him, he would tell them he wanted to be alone. Jaemin was in fact ready to stab someone. Jaemin was completely insane. This isn't what Jeno would have wanted. 

Jaemin stumbled downstairs, his feet catching on other stair steps causing him to trip. He breathed shallowly and his whole body was shaking. Jaemin clearly needed to eat and drink and get better or he would die. 

Finally Jaemin had gotten down the staircase, which had seemed longer than he remembered. He fingered his knife thoughtfully. He would go in the kitchen, get some water, and leave. Go back to his room and sleep. 

"Jaemin control yourself." He whispered the words while holding his knife hand steady. Jaemin took a deep breath and went into the kitchen. Wordlessly he headed for the cabinet, grabbing a cup and turning back around. 

Yangyang was sitting at the counter with his earbuds in. 

Jaemin realized the boy hadn't noticed he'd come in. Jaemin ignore him. Don't think about it Jaemin. 

Somewhere inside of him though there was another voice. The voice of jealousy and selfishness. The devil as opposed to the angel Jaemin usually listened to. 

Stab him. He's living the life while you get nothing. Jeno is dead. Hendery is alive. Think about how much they love each other. They're happy together. You're unhappy. Stab him. 

Jaemin felt himself begin to break. The devil inside of him made a solid point. Jaemin was green with envy so much he would go the lengths of murdering a member with a perfect relationship. Jaemin tightened his hand around the kitchen knife and took a step towards the unsuspecting boy. 

"Oh Maria Maria Maria~" Yangyang bopped his head and sang to his music while doodling on a scrap of paper. He didn't know what was about to hit him.

Jaemin had walked so he was right behind the younger member. He could here Hwasa's song playing in Yangyang's ears. He bit his lip, hard and prayed to Jeno. 

This is for you Jeno. 

With that he set a hand on Yangyang's shoulder.

"Oh hey Jaemin what's-"

And stabbed the boy through the chest.

"up?" Yangyang gasped at the knife protruding from his stomach. "You...."

Jaemin felt the tears begin to flow. "I'M SORRY! YANGYANG I-"

"You-you....." Yangyang's vision blurred. He tried to stand up but toppled over and hit his head on the cold ground. His blood pooled beneath him as he struggled to stay alive. He breathed rapidly, coughing up blood and crying. Jaemin looked down at his blood stained hands and sobbed. He actually stabbed his member. 

"Na Ja....." Yangyang prepared his last words but was cut off by his body completely shutting down. He coughed up one last pool of blood and fell still his eyes rolling back in his head. 

"Yangyang! I'm so sorry!" Jaemin fell to his knees, hands scrambling to the German member. "I can't believe I did this." He gripped his hand and bent down, shaking with sobs.

"I'm a murderer!" 

Yes you are. 

"I ended his life!" 

Indeed you did Jaemin. I am not proud of you.

"I'm sorry Jeno." Jaemin replied to the voice in his head. "I couldn't help it. I was angry." 

Shame on you Jaemin. When did I ever encourage harming a fly much less another human? Much less our member?  What happened to your heart Jaemin? Was my departure really too much for you to handle? 

"Stop!" Jaemin covered his ears with his bloody hands. "Stop talking! I don't want to hear it!" Jaemin snatched the knife out of Yangyang's stomach causing another stream of blood to burst out. He didn't know what to do. He rinsed it off in the sink and put it in the rack to dry. He would not be caught. 

He had to leave. He mustered up all the strength he had and bolted to his room. He packed a backpack of all the essentials. Clothes, toothbrush, his phone. No food or water though. He would never step foot in that kitchen again. Quickly Jaemin washed his face. He glanced in the mirror at the boy he in front of him.

His eyes were red and puffy from crying. His ribs peaked out of his t-shirt. His blue hair had slowly faded back to black. No one would think that boy was a murderer. But he was. 

Once Jaemin had ripped himself away from the mirror he snatched up his bag and propped open his window. Jumping out he prayed again. 

I love you Jeno. Please stay with me and support me until my last moments. I'll be by your side very soon. 

______________________________

Well that has to be the worst thing I have ever written :(