Carpe DiEmily (A Romantic Comedy Adventure)

seven

Emily grabbed the mace from her purse and crept toward the bathroom, her heart pounding. More crashing sounds, more growling.

She crouched against the wall next to the bathroom, her body trembling.

More growling, then a male voice shouting, “Down, boy, down!”

Silence.

Her mouth was cotton-dry with terror, her knees shaking. Should she call 911? Would she have time to get to the phone before the intruder attacked her?

Another enraged growl reverberated through the bathroom walls, followed by a high-pitched scream.

The intruder didn’t sound too dangerous, at least in the company of AW.

Emily peeked around the corner.

Cowering on the blue-tiled bathroom floor amidst broken pieces of a ceramic soap dish, was Lenny. AW’s haunches shook menacingly in his face. Lenny flailed as he tried to push the dog away, but the dog only growled louder.

“Get it off me!” Lenny shrieked, clutching the shower curtain, which was hanging by one ring. AW peered over his shoulder at the intruder, baring his teeth as foam dripped from his mouth. The dog inched backward, his white fur vibrating like an automatic toilet brush. Lenny crab-crawled away, his eyes bugged out in terror.

“Lenny, it’s five a.m. What the hell are you doing here?” shouted Emily.

“I forgot my pewter shaving mug. I still have the key and—get this thing off me!”

“Ass-Wipe, down!”

The dog rushed toward Emily. He jumped up and licked her, panting eagerly. She pushed him down, seized him by the collar, and dragged him down the hall to the entryway. She clipped on his leash and tied him to the front doorknob where he couldn’t get into more trouble. Then she marched back to the bathroom to confront Lenny.

He was standing by the sink, looking stunned. “You got a dog? And you call it Ass-Wipe?” He stared at her as though she’d lost her mind.

“Yeah I got a dog.” She jutted out her chin. “What of it?”

“It’s a frickin’ weird dog, if you ask me.” He began looking through drawers. “I need my pewter shaving mug. The one my mother gave me.”

Emily crossed her arms, rage rising. “You have no right to be here, Lenny. I could call the cops and have you arrested!”

Lenny glanced at her. “Why the hostility, Emily? You never asked for the key back, so I figured you wouldn’t mind if I stopped by once in a while.”

“Excuse me? This is breaking and entering. And yes, I mind!”

He assessed her critically. “Wow, you’re different. I haven’t been gone that long and look how much you’ve changed. You got a dog and everything. And you did something to your hair.”

“Got it cut. Dyed, too.”

He studied her appreciatively with his rabbit eyes. “It looks nice.”

For a moment, she missed him. The comfort of him. His familiarity. Her chest pinched. “You didn’t leave your shaving cup here,” she said, sounding stronger than she felt. “There’s nothing of you left, last I checked.”

“Nothing?” He moved closer. “You know, the real reason I came over is because I sort of miss you.”

“Sort of? Nice, Lenny. Makes a girl feel special. How’s Si-Moan?” She spat out the name.