Loved- to have held a deep affection; cherished (someone)
Lost- to no longer have
(There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes but I plan to fix them when I finish the book)
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"You ready to tell me what's wrong?," he asked as he handed me the blunt and I inhaled then lowly exhaled. I was cuddled up on his chest while he laid without a shirt and I laid naked and he held my tit in the palm of his hand.
We didn't have sex but skin to skin contact just always felt right especially with the sound of music playing in the background and the smell of weed in the air.
"I saw my ex today. You know the one that I thought I got pregnant by?"
"Yea."
"Well I saw him at the spa?"
"Did he touch you?," he said starting to get angry and I shook my head.
"Not in that way. He just tried to touch my stomach and held my hand but nothing really sexual. Anyway though, he explained to me why we had to break up and how he wanted better for us as I couple. All the bullshit I wanted to hear basically at sixteen."
"So do you want to get back together with him?," he said and the expression he gave me saddened my heart.
"No. Why would you think that?"
"You were crying when you came in here like your heart had just broke. I assumed you wanted to put us on the back burner while you figure out how you really feel. I wouldn't want to break us up but if you aren't sure then I'm not going to force this relationship on you. I just want you to be happy."
"And you make me happy," I say holding his face in my hands making him look me in the eyes to see how serious I am.
"Happy people don't cry over their ex's."
"Oh my god!," I exclaimed releasing him from my hands with a slight aggression," I wasn't crying because I wanted to be with him! I was crying because of how much I needed this closure and how glad I am that I got it. It's just really bittersweet to hear that after all this time, the dude that I thought I loved had no real reason to break up with me at all. Do you know how hurtful it is to have someone crush your heart into tiny little pieces without any explanation then come into your life again and actually explain themselves and it's not even up to par to what you think? Like after all this time, you just come with some bullshit and expect everything to be solved. I wasn't crying because I wasn't over him, I was crying because I was overwhelmed. I love you and only you and I hate that you feel like you have to question that," I say getting up and putting on one of his shirts as I went to the fridge.
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