Love you forever

Its Okay

Ari's POV

When he died,all I can think about is what he said.

"Which will be the closest I'll ever get.....to kissing you...."

How long has he felt this way towards me?Was that why he asked me out?Did he think we were going out as "more than friends"? I have so many questions,but why can't I answer them?
"Because the one person who can,is dead",my brain was telling me. Why is this so confusing? Why is death so complex, when it's just a simple thing,death is.You are born, you live, then you die. Just as simple as that,but apparently it is not because my mind is jumbling with questions that are meaningless. The whole night I sat there digging a six feet hole for dear,deceased Mason. I know I should've stopped a long time ago,but I couldn't stop. It was drowning my feelings from admitting the truth;Mason was not coming back.

2:00 A.M

My mom opened the door to the backyard. "Honey,what are you doing out here? It's two in the morning!"

"I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I ca-" I didn't wanna stop.

"Honey,listen to me. Take a little break. You can wait till tomorro-"

I suddenly attacked her into a bear hug. At first she was surprised ,but then she hugged me just as tight. "I miss him. I miss him so much!!!" ,I said as I sobbed in her arms. I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed again while my mom gave me soothing words which I so easily took.

"I wish he was here! I want him here!",tears were streaming down my face and onto her robe.

"I know. I know ,honey. We'll get through this together. It's okay." She said as she stroked my hair. "It's gonna be alright. It's okay."

I wanted to finish digging, I really did,but I just wanted to take this moment in and act like that vulnerable five year old kid ,holding on to her mommy like there's no tomorrow like I'm supposed to do in situations like this. So I just went inside and slept with my mom ,and had a good long sleep. And dreamed about it all being okay.