What goes up must come down

Part 38

Dereks POV
The thought replays in my head over and over ' I love him more then I ever loved Paige' Paige, the first person I ever loved, who died in my arms. But what's the difference? Besides the fact that he's my mate. Iv know stiles way longer than Paige sure, I didn't have to put stiles out of his misery when he was in pain or anything like that. I think one of the main things is that after all these years, he's still here, laying in my arms sleeping. He's never given up on me , though he is very stubborn. He's chosen me over Scott many times actually. He's saved my life, saved my pack. Saved so many people. He himself is protecting this town more than any of us can say. At least in my opinion. And what's crazy is, the more Iv gotten to know him, and see him day by day. Paige starts to become more of a memory. And it doesn't hurt anymore. Finally I can say that I had an emotional release for the first time in years. The weight of that burden no longer bothers me because it has been lifted. I mean, at this point I don't even care, about her, about her dying. I am over it. I don't really see why I made such a big deal about it. I mean I get why but, people are bound to die anyways. It's better that she died to me then someone else in retrospect. I know that me saying that is a load of crap, because if stiles ever died I'd lose my mind all over again. Just because people are bound to die anyways doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. This is good if I keep this mindset it'll help the rut. Shit. Spoke to soon.

Stiles POV
I wake up being suffocated by Derek's chest, with how tense he is I can feel his brain thinking. Jesus. Well at least it isn't that bad. He's warm and smells good, probably already thought about that actually but y'know it's getting hard to breathe so "Derek please I cant breathe, loosen the grip" I say as I tapped on his back. He lets out a little groan "c'mon buddy I know your hurting but I need to be alive to help you" he sighs "you aren't  going to die don't be so dramatic, you'll been fine"  he said. I hummed and rubbed his chest "and so will you, but that still doesn't mean you feel okay does it? But seriously it's hard to breathe and if I am not gonna die I'll surely pass out from the lack of oxygen" he lets go of me reluctantly. I take a second to breathe "so what's up I can feel you thinking" he opens his eyes "I am in pain and I am trying to keep my mind occupied but it's not like you would understand what I am going through" I roll my eyes "no, no I wouldn't,but at least I don't have too. And the seems like a you problem doesn't it" he smiles " okay smart ass" I smile back "well you set yourself up with that one" he nods "yeah I guess I did. And you wanna know what I am going to do about it?" I shrug "I don't know. What?" He grabs hold of me and puts me on my back. He leans closer until his nose touches mine. And leans in a bit more, our lips almost touch "nothing" he whispers and then he pulls alway and walks out of the room. Motherfucker. I don't understand how he can be in this state and still be a tease. Eventually he'll break. But that's not what I am here for. I am here to help out in anyway I can. After staring at the door for a couple minutes I get up and follow after him. When I reach the end of the stairs I see him standing in the kitchen "and your down here because?" I asked. He turned to me "because I am hungry and I realize there isn't any food here because I didn't get any." I tried not to laugh but the laugh was hardly suppressed "well looks like I have to go out and get you some food huh?" He shakes his head "no I'll come with you". I think for a moment "well I don't we should be going anywhere, because it's 4 am, neither of us have a car, and today is Friday, the full moon is tomorrow I thought you said is going to be the worst day for you besides Saturday. I mean what your heat started when uh?" He nodded "Wednesday. It's been three days. Your right. We shouldn't go anywhere but I am hungry and I was looking for a distraction. And it's very..... hard for me right now. I'm struggling. It's hard to talk." I sighed "I get it plus wouldn't want you going out looking like that" Dereks gripping the counter hunched over in his briefs. His hair is going in different directions and sweats dropping from his forehead. He looks at me with his red eyes. He's breathing heavy and all disheveled looking. The hunger in his eyes makes a shiver run up my spine "y'know, you never said what you were... hungry for" I say nervously. He looks back down at his hands and doesn't say anything. I go to walk over but he growls at me making me stop in my place "stay... stay there" he says. Well that's not good. To bad I don't follow the rules. I back up and turn to walk up stairs " I think it's time for me to go" as I reached the stairs he grabs my wrist and pulls me to him, shoving me against the wall both his hands surrounded my head "and where the hell do you think your going" he snarls. Man talk about toxic relationship quotes "der your not in the right head space you need to calm down" he lets out a throaty growl. A feeling ran through my body, I love when he is aggressive in an animalistic way, the growling, the teeth. When he slams me against the wall and I can feel his claws against my skin, the way red poured into his eyes. I let out a shaky breathe and shivered. I try to move but he grabs my wrists and locks them into place. Now with one hand he holds my wrists together above my head. This man is making me lose my mind. There was silence between us, he laid his head against my forehead. I feel his hand trail under my shirt touching my skin. His hands were cold making me squirm and gasp. This brings me back to when we showered together, when we held each other right. When he took my breathe from me yesterday. When we were in the shower he was so kind, so gentle. I know it wasn't sexual. But I can't help my thoughts. The way he pulled me close by my waist the way his hands roamed my thighs and the way his hand ran up my back. God. The way he kissed me and held me tight. The way his lips felt against mine. I have a feeling that this isn't going to go well.

Dereks POV

It's so hard to focus. I am losing grip of my control. I told him to stay away and the for the first time he listens. Then he decided he wanted to leave. 

Who does he think he is. He can't just up and leave just like that. After everything he's already done? He should be punished for being a tease.

No no he shouldn't have done that. He should be punished for disobeying.

That's what I am talking about Derek.

He needs to learn a lesson. He needs to show me some respect.

I let go of his wrists and pick him up from his thighs. He quickly wraps his legs around me and his arms wrapped around my neck. I quickly take him upstairs and drop him on the bed  "you need to be taught a lesson". His eyes widen "SHIT"