To The Guy Named, Fern Silvestre (TTGN #1)

FERN 88

My Diary
February 21 / 9:05 AM

Dear Diary,

I woke up today feeling exhausted. Drain and Tired. I can't stop crying last night.

Fern already left. I have to accept it. Wala naman akong makukuha sa pagmumukmok ko.

I didn't end up giving the first five chapters of my book. Ito ang pinagkakaabalahan ko. Siya ang inspiration ko habang sinusulat ko ang first fantasy story ko at nahihiya akong ibigay.

Dahil baka nga tama siya. Wala nga itong kwenta. I'm not as good as other writers and the only reason I was eager to give it to him dahil akala ko interesado siya. Pero, hindi pala.

He's my fantasy. Someone who will never be mine. Someone who end up to be just my almost.

Siguro tama nga sila. Kung sino pa 'yung hindi naging sayo, 'yun pa ang nag-iwan ng masakit na alaala at sila rin 'yung pinakamahirap kalimutan.

But, thinking about Zick. I don't want to risk it just because I am confused. Ayoko nang makasakit pa. Tama nang ako ang nasasaktan kaysa iba. I don't want to be guilty anymore.

Fern is just one of those chapters in my life. Now, I have to flip the page and continue to read the chapter that is waiting for me to open.

But, this time...

I'm gonna be careful in the future. That going inside a relationship shouldn't be decided in an impulsive way. Because that's how Fern's chapter taught me.

A time will come that it will confuse you which is the right thing to do. But one thing I learned is that---if you feel nervous and at the same time excited with that decision.

Take that risk.

Take it.

-Kayderine Sharia Alcalde